Lose more weight? You have GOT to be kidding me!!!
So my gym trainer told me today that I cold do with losing a few kgs. I am 5'8, 128 pounds, count calories, train religiously and am more toned and strong than I've ever been in my life and I get this. Dude, what more do you want from me?! Lol, and I just visited home for the 1st time in a year and my mom and dad warned me against losing more weight because they thought I was too thin!
Just a note. I live and work in South Korea where stick thin is the norm and nothing else will do. I wear the bigger sizes in the clothing stores
I shouldn't care what he thinks because I know what I see in photos and in the mirror. But I guess I wouldn't be human if this didn't bother me just a little. So just on a bit of a downer right now
It would be a downer for me, too, but IMO you need to work to disregard that. People of Asian heritage need to be a little thinner, I've heard, because they have a tendancy to have weight related problems at lower BMIs. Japan defines obese at 25 BMI vice 30 for that reason.
With your muscle tone, you're at the edge of what you should weigh, so blow him off. You probably look great right now, and more importantly, you are probably in the best health and shape of your life.
Something else about the big sizes. They're also smaller because the norm is to be 5'2", not 5'8" there. Six inches should add up to a size or two differenc, IMO.
There is no way that is wise advice. Can you ask him/her to clarify? If he/she sticks with that story, it may be time to talk to a manager or gym owner.
Yup, he is. His English is not great though so maybe things got lost in translation. He's been taking me through some great stretch sessions and maybe he's just looking at ways for me to improve and tone up even more. I've taken up his offer - I like a good challenge, it's free and he is very good at what he does. But clearly a little too fixated the Korean ideal body shape which is stick thin with zero curves.
I just met with a few friends (guys and girls) yesterday who also mentioned that they thought I may have lost too much weight. I have a very small frame though. I assured them I'm trying to maintain. Unfortunately I'm still playing around with calories and am still losing weight but am working on that.
Thanks for the support everyone I just knew this would be the right place to come for good advice and just a little bit of comfort. I know I should blow him off and forget about it but it kinda hits you hard when you've spent the best part of a year focussing on training, eating well and most importantly being strong and healthy.
But hey, I'm doing this for me and not to conform to anyone's idea of the ideal body shape.
As a previous poster has said, I do not think this trainer is taking into account that you are 5'8". 128 lbs is on the very thin side at that height, even for a person with a small frame. It is very irresponsible of this person to be making you feel as if you need to lose more weight. I guarantee that you look perfect and ideal at the weight you are at right now.
Thanks gardendiva I do know that but I guess he just toouched on my age old insecurities about my body. It's not made easier by the fact that I live in a country where thin equals beautiful and you are judged according to your weight and looks.
i have to also agree, as well as with the poster that mentioned asian BMI's.
people of asian origin tend to have much smaller frames than caucasian people, thus they have a different classification for BMI. maybe your trainer is not fully aware of this.
in any case, on top of everything else, you sound quite slim to me
You've been given wonderful advice already. I also agree that I bet you are just perfect. I do understand how his comment would play on your insecurities, though.
I too think that he's probably not taking your height or background into account. And if he's being paid to train you, there's a possibility that he's just trying to keep you around by making you think you need him.
It's a small gym so he's the owner, manager and trainer. But I think yo are all right. I think he thinks I want to be as thin as other Asians. And while my distant background is Malaysian (I am South African) I am built nothing like Korean women are. I am a C-D cup and am of course quite tall compared to them. I'm thin but there's just more of me than of them! And at 128 I am considered by most to be very thin (if not too thin). As said, I'm working to rectify that
It's just odd and disconcerting when someone who is supposedly trained to promote a healthy lifestyle says something like this to conform to the ideals and desires of the women in his country.
I also live in Korea, and I bet he's judging you by Korean size and weight standards. A lot of people here don't realize that Westerners are just plain bigger than Koreans. A friend of mine is dating a Korean doctor who studied abroad in Australia when he was in university, so his English is really good, and he told us that many Koreans have no idea there's a difference in our body types.
I also live in Korea, and I bet he's judging you by Korean size and weight standards. A lot of people here don't realize that Westerners are just plain bigger than Koreans. A friend of mine is dating a Korean doctor who studied abroad in Australia when he was in university, so his English is really good, and he told us that many Koreans have no idea there's a difference in our body types.
When you say that some Koreans don't notice the difference in body types, I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Isn't the visual difference between smaller/petite bone frames and short heights vs. the taller/larger trend in the western world very apparent? Lol... I must be missing something..
Tagan, I'm so glad you came here to chat about this and also have friends in your life who are being supportive in NOT suggesting you to lose more weight. 128 lbs at your height makes me think you are VERY thin. I can't possibly imagine it would be healthy to lose any more weight at your height.
Hang in there! I hope your trainer will understand where you are coming from. If not, he may not be a positive influence to have around.
Lose more weight? You have GOT to be kidding me!!!
I just knew this would be the right place to come for good advice and just a little bit of comfort. I know I should blow him off and forget about it but it kinda hits you hard when you've spent the best part of a year focussing on training, eating well and most importantly being strong and healthy. 
