I just came back from the kitchen at work. Again, I found the water cooler with an empty bottle on top. Lately it seems like I change a bottle every day. Now these things are quite large and heavy. I can lift them, but I have to drag a chair over to rest the bottle on before I get my bearings and flip it on the cooler - it is a bit of a process.
Several times over the last few weeks there will be a man in the kitchen, walking by, etc. Not once has anyone stopped or even asked if I could use some help.
This morning, the guy delivering the candy for the machine was sitting in the chair I wanted to use. I actually had to ask him to move the candy cart so I could get to another chair. He sat there the whole time, writing something in a book, never offering any type of assistance.
Just to make sure I'm not off base, I 've asked a few men with manners(DH included) what they would do if they saw a woman refilling the water cooler, and all agreed they would offer assistance.
Some men are still stuck in the ultra-feminist 1970's, where they're afraid a woman is going to take offense if she's offered help. There have been women who have yelled at men for doing so, because it insinuates that she is weak and cannot function without male assistance.
But this can't apply to *all* men. I guess some of them are just dunderheads.
Someone certainly should offer to help! Anyone who uses the water cooler should notice and do it themselves, or give a hand to someone who is trying to. I would store up a snarky comment for that candypants man, the next time he delivers.
Some men ARE clueless. My winter boss will not shovel a path to the outdoor ice machine. We live in Vermont for cryin out loud, and the ice machine just gets totally snowed in. One day as I came into work, I said, 'hey, since I still have my coat and boots and gloves on, should I shovel a path to the ice machine?'
I was hoping he would say "Of course not, Holly, that's not your job, that snow is really wet and heavy. But thank you for offering."
you're about the same height as my mother and i can only think of what she would (and has) do in that situation..."you see i'm short, come here and help me!" I'd take a chance and ask for help next time.
Grrrr, the water jug--I hate that! My theory is that the person who drained it should replace it with a fresh bottle. If that person is a woman, then a nearby man should help her with it. I'm a lot taller than you and it's probably easier for me to change it than it is for you, but it still annoys me that people will drain it and then walk off, leaving the swapping of the bottles for the next person. Grrr.. At least the men in my office will often offer to help.
I had this same problem in my last office. I agree that there are "ditzy" men, and some that are stuck in the feminist days, but there are also those that are just plain lazy... or better yet, feel like physical labor is beneath them. This is what I faced. (luckily I am in a new office that is very different, they always offer to help!)
Surely there is ONE male in your office that is still considerate enough to change the jug if asked. Next time you see it empty, politely ask him! (or do what everyone else does and leave it empty until someone else changes it!)
years ago I worked in an office with all guys, me the only female (and lowest on the totem pole). so there was not only the female/male dynamic, but the clout dynamic too. who wudda thunk changing a water bottle could take on so much import??? ha. I just did it: physically, it wasn't a problem for me, and status wise it didn't bother me. it was the male/female courtesy factor that stuck in my craw.
I don't think there's anything wrong in asking a guy that's hanging out nearby to help. or even leave it for someone else to do once in a while, if it's an office task that falls on everyone. It probably is one of those things, too, where people who don't drink the water feel like they shouldn't have to change it.
Wow, chivalry really is dead!
