[EveLHaelf]

I've really been struggling staying on plan lately. My newfound love of running has been temporarily taken away from me due to a hip problem and I've just been having such a hard time. I'm limited to what kind of exercise I can do while I let my hip heal and I just get so discouraged that I end up not doing any kind of exercise and I know that isn't helping....

I had a realization last night while talking to my husband. In the 5+ years I've known him he has been the most self secure, confident person I know. Not to the point of bragging or boasting, but a quiet self assuredness. Not once has he ever doubted himself, or talked down to himself. Never has he been jealous of other guys, or not wanted me to look at other guys. I've always envied him that confidence. Well our conversation last night ended up being about why I don't look at other guys, (the innocent looking.) I had to think before I could answer. I think it's because I feel that if I look, then he will....(even though I know he does anyway. Its a guy thing!) I mean, even women who are happily married check out guys occasionally, it doesn't mean they want to sleep with these people. Why can my husband be perfectly okay with me looking at other guys and even going as far as to ask me if I thought any of his friends were cute, but I get upset when he does?

Because I'm insecure....Because even after losing 75 pounds, I still see myself as a fat girl.....Because I can't SEE that I'm my husband's number one choice and that any one else he looks at isn't as appealing to him as me.....Because I don't love myself.

I think that being forced to slow down with my exercise, has brought me to this critical place where I need to fix myself if I'm ever going to reach my goal and keep it off. I'm scared because I have no idea how to fix me! It's so frustrating because I've made so much progress with my weight loss, but I'm still at day one of trying to build my self confidence. I guess I thought that as I lost weight I would just start feeling better about myself. I was wrong...

Is there anyone else out there struggling with this? Anyone else who has made progress? How are you guys dealing? I'm tired of being in this rut...I need to get out and start making progress again.

[jigglefree]

I haven't gotten to my goal but I have always been pretty confident. My parents are the reason for that. I know it's hard to make the mental adjustment with the physical but it is possible. Work on the things you say to and about yourself and the things you think about yourself. If you think something negative, say something good about yourself. It will take work but you can do it. Just like you got yourself used to working out for your physical body get used to complimenting yourself. You don't have let anyone hear you talking to yourself. In the morning, go to the mirror and say some nice things to yourself about yourself. Not your relationships or things you have but about YOU.

After a while you will be real good at it. YOU CAN DO IT!!

[dragonwoman64]

I like what JF says. it doesn't seem unusual to me that your anxious about your progress since you've been laid up with an injury and can't exercise.

I've had that happen, and then I feel like I'm not making progress on my weight, my looks, my life, etc. It's extremely frustrating.

when you use the word "fix" it creates this idea that your "broken", kwim? and your not broken, from what you're saying and how I'm reading it, I think you may be feeling frustrated and insecure because you've had a wrench thrown in your plans (and don't mentally feel that forward movement happening -- whether it is or not).

I've been losing weight slowly and I still have to adjust to the weight I've lost and how my body looks now. I know insecurity and self esteem are tough to deal with, I personally am not so much insecure, but I do have problems in the self esteem dept. I agree what you tell yourself is important, and give yourself credit for all the stuff you've accomplished. Obviously, you have a lot going on to have a great, self confident hubby.

go out and buy yourself a great outfit, and take a pic, and compare it to you at your highest weight. that should give you some perspecitve! (and pamper yourself in good ways, so you can relax and not worry about all that kinds of stuff, life is short)

[EveLHaelf]

Thanks ladies! Very good advice and it makes sense about the whole 'fix and broken' thing. It is something I'm going to have to work on daily. I've been thinking of getting a tanning package and maybe something else like a waxing, lol. I do deserve it, I know. I just get ashamed because my hubs is so open and confident and I get upset if he says he likes Gillian Anderson from the x-files. Ridiculous...lol.

I do really feel like the injury has put me in a bad spot and it's been tough. But I'm not gong to let this keep me from my goal.

Thanks