Well, I stepped on the scale today to face my nemesis = The Number. My aunt always said, "The evil you know is better than the evil you don't know" and I truly believe that. I expected to see a number that I never thought that I would ever reach, 200 lbs. I have always hovered over 170 as a high weight, but lately I have been inching toward 200 and haven't stepped on the scale in months.
In an earlier post I said that I didn't feel 'it' in me for making a change. Somehow seeing that very high weight (you see I am only 5' tall) was in a strange way, satisfying! Yes, I had a satisfied, not horrified feeling when I saw that number that led to the next feeling of "Ok, it's time to start".
Has anyone else experienced this? By the way, you on this board are the only people to know. lol
I don't think my experience was too close to yours, but maybe somewhat because I was not horrified at the number staring back. I figured I was gonna weigh in at about 250 pounds... I hadn't weighed myself in about 2 years and although at the time I didn't give it a second thought, I know now it was so I could blindly keep doing what I was doing.
Anyway, I finally stepped on the scale knowing it was time to finally put an end to this "party" and to my amazement I didn't see 250, but instead 235. So in this respect I was relieved and not horrified. In fact I'm more horrified now still seeing 200 pounds!
I did have the same feeling of "Ok, it is time do start this journey" as you did, so maybe the experience is more similar than I realize?
Naw, you didn't hijack it. These threads are thought processes, so sharing our thoughts really help (me anyway).
Yeah, it was like I WANTED to get to 200 lbs before I started. That is the weird feeling. Not that I want to be fat, I just needed that number to get started. I knew that the number would be close to that, but I figured that I would shame myself - never happened. I guess that's a good thing?
I bought a scale about 7 months after leaving for college, and when I left I already knew I was just at 200 lbs...and the first time I stepped on it...it said 278...and I called my boyfriend bawling about how fat I had gotten and he dropped what he was doing to come over and try to make me feel better about it...and after I had calmed down a bit he got on the scale to show me he weighed more then me...and when he was on it, it said 300 lbs....and he is NOT 300 lbs...and then we heard some snapping noise and he thought he broke my scale but then it said 270...which is how much he REALLY weighs...
I got back on the scale and it said 251...and I was SO RELIEVED that I wasn't 270 something...lol.
It turns out there was some piece of plastic stuck in one of the feet of the scale...and when he stood on it the plastic broke and fell out, and now the scale works properly...lol
I think if the first number I had seen had been 251...I would have freaked out....so it's almost a good thing that my scale screwed up the first time...because it definitely showed me how much worse it could have been. lol
I so understand when I saw 200 I was like wow Im gonna get in shape which didn't happen but when I saw 224 I was like oh H*** NO. So now Im slowly losing the weight but I do not want to get up to the weight of 228 lbs thats how much I weighed when I was 9 MONTHS pregnant and getting induced that night. Well my baby is 2.5 yrs old now so I have no excuse for being that close to my pregnancy weight. But I guess I really needed to get that close to see that I needed to change my life for the better.
Last edited by 19Deltawifey; 01-03-2010 at 12:51 AM.
One day back in September, I decided I should just get about it. I set up my fitday account again, did some grocery shopping ... When I stepped on the scale that day, I wasn't horrified. I'm not sure what I was ... resigned, determined ...
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has that kind of relationhip with the scale. When I'm going through a "bad" stage and not bothering with what I eat I ignore the scale as if by not getting on it it means I'm not doing any damage. But then as time goes on I start feeling afraid of the scale and what it might tell me. It is only when I bite the bullet and get back on the scale that I once again feel resolved to do something about my weight. It kind of triggers something inside me I guess.
So I know what you mean. Also, often when I get back on the scale for the first time in ages I'm expecting a far higher number than I get because I over exaggerate in my mind so I am actually relieved by the weigh it shows though I am still a bit horrified by it which is why I start dieting again.
I avoided the scale for close to 15 years - 15 YEARS. As if avoiding that number. sticking my head in the sand, would make it go away - yeah right. BIG MISTAKE. Sure I knew I was morbidly obese, but somehow I believe had I been in the habit of stepping on that scale every morning, as part of my self-care well being routine (like showering and brushing my teeth), things wouldn't have been QUITE as bad. Which is why I weigh VERY frequently now (almost daily). I think it's important to face that number. It's a way of knowing what's going on with your body. It's a way to keep a handle on ones health.
I did it a little differently though. I decided to lose the weight first, I was **** bent on getting the weight off, had made the firm decision to overhaul my lifestyle - once and for all and permanently - and THEN I stepped on the scale. I really hadn't a clue as to what I was. Although I was fairly certain I weighed about 300 lbs and was actually pleased-ish to only see 287 lbs. At 5 foot nothing. Oh my.
So yes, I was kinda relieved/satisfied to see the number. After so many years of avoiding it, I was ready to DEAL with it. It was like okay Robin - this is your starting point - now start. You've got a number to work with. Now work with it. You can't change what you don't acknowledge and I was indeed ready to acknowledge it - and change it.
So let me ask you if I may, oh fellow 5 foot nothing-er, talk about a thread hi-jacker, what's your plan of attack? How are you going about this? How are you going to decrease that number?
Whatever that plan may be, I look forward to hearing of that number being chipped away at, and chipped away at - all the way down to a healthy weight!! All the best.
I too didn't feel ready to start my weight loss journey when I first joined 3fc. But coming here regularly got me going. I slipped up for a while, and was ready to get back to it when I returned to my pre-3fc weight. It is weird, I knew I needed to get back here, but it seems certain milestones are the real impetus. THis time I have the added concern of borderline diabetes, but the weight was the biggie.
Yes, I can relate to how you felt. I think it's that for one thing, the dread and tension ease because you finally have to face it and also that you probably set a certain weight limit as the "line in the sand" and knew that going above that was unacceptable and felt that because you'd finally reached that limit, you could stay motivated and committed to a plan.
Fear of the unknown is stressful. Dread and worry is stressful. And fear that you'll fail, be too wishy-washy about a weight loss plan and not be able to stick with it and totally commit to it is stressful.
Most of us tried a million times before we finally stuck with it and succeeded. But I think we all remember the myriad of fears we had to deal with.....and also the resignation we had to face some realities with.
deena
PS And rockinrobin....your weight-loss is just amazing. You are....well, truly rockin! Congrats!
When I started off I had no clue what I weighed and I honestly thought I was close to 600 pounds. about month into my weight loss lifestyle adjustment...yeah we will call it an adjustment lol I bought a scale that went to 550 pounds and was worried that it would not show a weight when I stepped onto it and when it flashed 512 pounds I smiled, I was honest to goodness happy about weighing 512 pounds! so yeah I was very much not horrified to see 512 because I did not think the scale would show a weight at all...perhaps it would ask me in a nice voice to "get the F off of the scale!" lol
207 pounds lost later I am glad that I hit that "ok its time to start" point before it DID get to 600 pounds
One year ago tomorrow is my anniversary at 3FC. I finally decided to face the number on the scale; I could FEEL that I was very, very heavy and was afraid to see the number. I'm not sure why; after all, the number is just data. I am still the same size, still the same health level whether or not I know the number.
So I stepped on the scales. I knew it was probably higher than ever and I had steeled myself to the fact that it could be 250 or higher. So I was less upset (and strangely relieved) to see that it was 'only' 245. Still a high number. Still a daunting task. But now I had a starting point.
So yeah......a little bummed but also a little relieved that it wasn't worse.
Satisfied, not horrified with starting weight!?!
I knew that the number would be close to that, but I figured that I would shame myself - never happened. I guess that's a good thing?
