Where to start? I've hit rock bottom and need help to climb back up.
Hi there.
I'm newish to this form I've made a few posts in the past and lurk a bit. I need help. Today in the salon I broke the talble that I was lying on while getting my eyebrows done. I tried and tried to hold back the tears but I broke down and cried in front of everyone there. My fat clothes barely fit and I look a mess. I've renewed a long flirtation with a guy who is great but I have these doubts that he doesn't want me as a gf because I'm too fat.
I really don't know where to start, what plan is best or what to do to being sorting myself out. I'm sorry this is so pityful, I'm just in a bad place at the moment and need some support.
Well, you've come to the right place! We understand exactly what you're going through, and maybe we can help you make changes that will lead to long-lasting success!!
If you're overwhelmed, you may want to take a baby-step approach to this. Rather than having an all-out plan, start by picking one or two things to change and JUST DO IT! When I started I just began by packing my snacks and lunch to work everyday, and I tried to watch my portion sizes. That was it for the first couple of weeks. Then after a while I started paying attention to the number of calories, and then exercise, and now I also focus on WHAT I eat.
So, my advice is to pick a couple of habits you think you can change and then COMMIT to it!
And keep coming here and talking and asking questions!! Feel free to join the Weekly Thread!!!
I do low-carb, some people have success with a specific plan like South Beach, others just count calories. Do some research and find one you think you can live with, then go for it. Start now, with the next thing you put in your mouth, not "tomorrow." Some people make small changes, some make drastic changes. You just have to figure out what works for you and if something isn't working, change it til it does.
You can totally do this. Just commit and do it. It's doable. It's not impossible.
Last year on this date, 11/15/2008, was my BFF's wedding. She'd asked me to be her maid of honor on 8/13/2008 and I was 370 lbs, size 32. I didn't want to stand up in front of all those people in an ugly tent dress, I hated how I looked and felt, so I made all my changes at once--Atkins--and never looked back. 3 months later I was in a size 24, still very large but I looked and felt so much better than I did the day I started. Three months after that I'd lost 99 lbs.
Today, 15 months out, I've lost over 150 lbs and I'm in a size 14/16, and Friday night I squeezed into a pair of size 12 jeans (they look horrible, but I got them on! A 12!!). I think I will be under 200 lbs by New Year's. I haven't done anything special or magical, I've just stayed on plan 98% of the time because I'm committed to myself. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best of luck!!!!!
I could calories and keep refined carbs to a minimum and that works well for me. I added more exercise once I felt able too as well (wasn't just because of my weight I wasn't able but because of a badly broken ankle). Read through all the information here and you will have more ideas what to try. If something doesn't work for you you can easily alter it anyway. I like counting calories as it means so restrictions on food I eat - we eat with parents twice a week who eat a lot of carbs so a s long as I keep those down the rest of the week that fits in with my lifestyle well. You need to find something you can sustain in your lifestyle - there's no point going for an option that included cooking soemthing for breakfast if you're never going to have time to do that for example.
Well done on the weight you have lost so far
I also spent a lto of tiem examining to work out why I couldn't lose weight as generally I could lose up to 2 and a half stones but then put it back on. There's lots of information here so you shoudl be able to find something that works for you. On the days I can't do it I find reading other people's success stories and looking at their before and after photos is a big help. I also find just reading here helps so much as in real life I don't know many people who have lost a lot of weight or even that many who are as heavy as I was.
I see you're in the UK too so you're also very welcome to join us on the UK chicks forum We have a monthly challenge there if you would find that helpful and it's a place you can talk in stones and about UK food and Uk dress sizes.
It is very overwhelming having so much weight to lose but making smaller goals is very helpful and makes it less overwhelming.
Coco, I'm so sorry for your experience at the salon. I recall similar events in my life and feeling the same way you do now. You're not pitiful...you're positioned in a great place to start moving in a positive direction. I really believe in you, because you're brave, you shared a painful moment with us and you asked for help. All the right things!
I like the idea Heather had of choosing just a couple of habits to work on for now. You're not in a race and you're not competing with anyone. You're making changes for life. I've been losing weight very slowly and I've been told by many trainers that it's the best way to go because it proves the changes made are for life.
I can't stand being on a "diet", having to follow a restrictive plan. They make me angry! Instead, I chose to make a series of changes over time. My first changes were ones I knew would be easy. For me, I'm not a big soft drink fan, but I was drinking Coke a couple times a week. I went from ordering the largest size (310 Cal) to the child size (110 Cal), and now, I don't drink any of them. I switched out ordering the largest portions at fast food restaurants (largest burger and largest fries plus a milk shake @ 1790 Cal) a few times a week to the smallest sizes of exactly what I want (double cheeseburger only @ 440 Cal), no more than once a week. That alone meant represented nearly 2 lbs. a week.
I never was a big fan of exercise, but I finally started walking, slowly, 10 minutes, three times a day. Over time, with lots of guidance, I've learned to love weight training. I still detest cardio workouts, but I've found some I'm willing to do. One of the easiest was to sit and bounce on a FitBall for an hour every night while watching TV. That alone helps me burn 600 Cal/hour and I have built up my leg muscles quite a bit.
There were some things I had to do to support my new way of life. Some people in my life had to either be re-educated or "let go". Some only want me to be fat, or they only want me to cook for them and eat with them. Some only want to go drinking with me, and drinking alcohol, for me, led to more eating. When I started changing my lifestyle, some started sabotaging me. I had to cultivate new relationships with people who were supportive of my new life. I had to be brave and befriend skinny fitness-savvy people. I had to make myself accountable in some way, so I write a blog about my road to wellness and there are people who check in and read it (and write to me when I haven't been keeping up) and that helps me stay honest.
So far I've lost nearly 50 lbs. I have some health issues that are seriously stalling my progress, but with what I've lost so far, I'm already feeling better! I have absolute confidence that I will succeed. I have my goals, very clear visions of what I want...and I want to live to be a wild old woman that has wonderful stories to tell because I lived a full and rich life.
What are your goals, Coco? What does your "fabulousness" look like in your mind's eye? And where do you want that fabulousness to take you?
I am no expert, but I also started from a similar place that you are starting. I was totally lost and didn't know where to start, but I knew that I had to change. One thing that has helped me is taking it one day at a time. If I do not so good on one day, I don't just say oh to **** with it and quit, I resolve that I am going to do better tomorrow. On the whole that is my goal, that I will do better tomorrow. Another thing that has really helped is switching me snacks out with fruit or veggies. Find a fruit that makes you go mmmmm just as much as one of your old snacks. I am also a cookbook junkie, I love cookbooks, I now look for cool low fat and low cal cookbooks, (ones with pics are best) and try to only make food out of those cookbooks. But, just remember one day at a time, try to do better tomorrow than you did today. Also, on the exercise front start out with what you can do and try to add more each day and eventually you will build yourself up and you will be soooo proud of yourself. Just stay positive!
I'm sorry you had such a rough time--making small changes is good idea. Things like cutting out soda, increasing water intake, trying one new vegetable a week, etc...
Good luck, and welcome!!!!
I like the suggestions everyone has offered so far. I's sorry you aren't feeling in the best place right now, but if you hang in there you'll find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Simple small changes you know you can stick with is enough to start. Before you know it, you'll feel more conifdent and bigger changes can be implemented!
Thank you, thank you THANK YOU! I'm sorry I haven't replied, I've had the slowest connection all week but wow. Thank you so much for taking the time out to reply. Your kind words mean so much to me. Last week I was so depressed and didn't know what to do for the best but you ladies sorted it out.
I now have that motivation back, reading your insprational stories gave it to me. Also my threader was the best ever and I need to drop this weight quickyl so I can go back and hop on one of those tables!
I'm starting the fat smash again tomorrow. I know you shouldn't run before you can walk but I like the detox element. I'm slightly addicted to bread and refined white carby things so removing them will be a great start. Wish me luck ladies
Where to start? I've hit rock bottom and need help to climb back up.
