Working graveyards, full time student, always feeling low energy
Hi all,
I've been lurking for a bit, and yesterday was looking at some of the before and after pictures and really started to feel inspired.
I have been trying to loose the same 30 pounds on and off for about two years now. I have, in the past, managed to stay on a healthy weight loss/exercise routine for about two months. After that I crash - I start binging because I feel extremely tired and I just get these uncontrollable cravings for sweet carbs (cakes, muffins, cookies, chocolate bars are my downfall. I don't usually crave fattening or greasy food otherwise, nor do I like candies, pop or juice that much).
Lately I've been trying to get back into it, give it another shot (after all, if I don't try, it's not going to happen). The problem is, this time I just can't seem to get into it. I had finally started to lose some weight a couple weeks ago (maybe about four pounds). However, I came down with the flu pretty bad, and since then I have found it impossible to stay on track - it was hard enough for me to start this time around as it is.
There are a lot of barriers to my losing weight - I go to university full-time, and I also work three days a week, including one graveyard shift (which just gets me eating all loopy - and by loopy I mean EXCESSIVELY). I am about 5'7 and 160 - so I think I sit just on the tip of the normal/overweight range. However, I do carry a lot of my weight around my stomach, which, aside from being unflattering, isn't very healthy.
After looking at this website yesterday, I determinedly tried to get back into it yesterday/today. No luck - by 8pm last night I was hitting the kitchen for a honey/toast/peanut butter fix, and I've been eating loads ever since (I'm working a graveyard right now, so I've been up eating all night).
I am in my early twenties and I want to nip this in the bud now. I used to be a skinny child, up until maybe I was twelve, and then I started putting on weight that I have never lost, maybe partially because of puberty, but also I think because I had some stressful events around that time of my life. I love to eat. I do get depressed sometimes, and I can be an emotional eater, but most of the time I just love eating for its own sake - it gives me pleasure. Also, lately, when I've been trying to restrict my food intake I feel like I simply can't - I just get really low energy and get really strong cravings that I don't otherwise usually have.
I have found it difficult to cope with the stress of school and trying to lose weight at the same time - I often feel like it is one or the other. School often trumps weight loss. On top of that, work is really tiring me out, especially with the graveyards.
So what should I do? I just can't seem to get motivated/started any more. I feel like I will NEVER lose this weight, that I just love eating carbs too much. Is that really low energy feeling that I get when I'm dieting normal, or am I doing something wrong? I'm doing all the things that are supposed to keep you full - eating whole grains, lots of fruits and vegetables, and lean protein like chicken breast and fish. What gives?
Our stories are so similar, everything from the age you are, to body type, stresses in life, etc! About 6 years ago, I was in my early twenties battling about 50 pounds that I had put on through high school. I had always been average to slightly on the skinny side. My parents were arguing quite a bit, I was attending the local community college, and working full time. There never seemed to be time for me to sit down and work on myself. I was always working for grades, working for money, and trying to referee my parents' arguing matches. I never thought of myself as a project that deserved the time needed to lose weight. I got to a point where I determined, that I was just meant to be overweight, that my body type would never, ever change.
Girl, let me tell you! Put the time into yourself. It is going to be tough, and I know how working a long boring stretch leads to eating. I am in the middle of a twelve hour shift right now. As far as the mindset goes, you have to just get to that place where you can put yourself first! And the first month will be the hardest. Snack on almonds (whole, natural--the roasted kind allegedly pack on pounds), drink hot green tea to help you stay full, up up up your fiber intake, and give yourself miniature challenges. I used to say "Bet you can't go two weeks without french fries (my first true love)". After two weeks of struggling, tears, and stakeouts in the McDonald's parking lot, I would get to a point where fries looked disgusting to me. And I noticed I started to feel better and have more energy. I still eat fries occasionally, but they are no longer a staple of my diet. Just realize that you want to lose the weight now! Your metabolism can adjust at this age, your skin will bounce back, everything will only get harder!
Wrapping up this longwinded opinionfest, my body hovered around 170 for years. Dieting, exercise, nothing seemed to change. I determined my body was comfortable at that weight and would adjust accordingly to keep me there until my dying day. I figured my early twenties metabolism would be the best case scenario, and I will only gain weight as I reach my thirties. Well food journaling, 2-3 fitness classes a week, and the ability to dedicate time to myself paid off. I am now almost 29, and weigh about 126 pounds. And have been at or within five pounds of this weight for years. Now, my body is fighting to keep this weight! I can have off days from exercise, I can have a week or two of terrible eating, and my body for the most part wants to stay here. You absolutely can do this!
I'm really having a hard time with this - I feel so tired right now from work (massive headache). I also have four term papers due around the same time (of course) in the upcoming weeks, which are really stressing me out. I am contemplating waiting until I'm done in December before I try losing weight again, but I really want to do this now.
Can I ask what type of fitness classes you did? There is a gym in my building, but I don't feel motivated enough to go regularly, and I don't feel like I always know what I'm doing, so maybe a class would be a good idea (if I go haha). Also, I'm not sure exactly how I should eat - I know it has to be a lifestyle change - but honestly the thought of giving up chocolates and muffins scares me! LOL I guess I'll just have to keep trying and eventually it will all click?
The thing I'm having the hardest time with is trying to mentally cope that what I'm currently eating is not good for me and that it needs to go. My body thinks it's being deprived, even though in reality I'm trying to help it along when I do try to eat well.
HAHA - will my skin bounce back, really? I really hope so, I'm already seeing stretch marks (although they seem to get a bit better when I do lose a few pounds). I will try your suggesting of food journaling, I've heard others say it works (do you still keep a journal now that you're maintaining?)
I'm really excited to try this website out - I've always gone it alone, maybe the support will help.
Also, WOW - our stories do sound so similar! That's amazing that you've been able to change your life around like that, congrats!
First don't think of the things in your life as barriers. This is a negative and already puts you in a negative mind set. Think of them as challenges to overcome.
Second maybe you should consider taking it easier, talk to your employeer about getting of the graveshift. Talk to your school advisor and see about maybe switching to a lighter load say 4 classes a semster and then doing summer work to catch up.
Really there is no point in losing weight if it makes you more unhealthy in the long run. You to think about your overall health.
Well I'm the new kid on the block at work, and I can't change my availability to get out of the graveyards until I've worked there for four months because of union rules (which will be at the end of December) -- also, part of the reason they hired me was because I agreed to do the graveyards (haha, I was kind of desperate for work at the time - I was starting to get really unhappy at my old job, and overall I am happier with the change with the exception of the graveyard).
As for school, I'm on my last year, and my goal was to graduate in the spring. To do this I need a crazy full course load both this and next semester. I'm not sure I want to delay graduating at this point -- school is causing me so much stress that I just want to get it over with as soon as possible.
You're right that I shouldn't have such a negative attitude (my friends often tell me this lol), but sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed. Sometimes I think I will just have to suck it up and try sticking to a healthy eating plan despite my hectic schedule, but not sleeping enough + stress do have an impact on how hungry you feel (cortisol? is the culprit, I think). So I'm just not sure where to go with this; maybe I'm just feeling really unmotivated these last few days, and the motivation will come back to me, I hope.
mouse- what is your plan? are you counting calories? WW? SB? What if you were able to work carbs/treats into your diet in some way...would that satisfy your cravings, or make them worse? It's true you have some challenges right now, but you are making this change for life, and life will always be throwing something at you. If you can do this now, you will know that you can do it through whatever challenges are waiting in your future.
It could be enough to just start with planning/preparing a bit more in advance. It doesn't take more than 15 minutes to prepare and pack healthy snacks and bring them with you. I do this every day to work AND I bring no money with me whatsoever (maybe this isn't possible for everyone) so I can't buy any junk if I don't have any money to do so. i just focus on every day as it comes - I can plan basics in advance but I add/take away depending on what my schedule is for each day.
Get that going and then you can add other things like exercise to the mix. Baby steps!
Um, I'm not doing Weight Watchers or anything like that. Instead, my plan was to basically just make healthy choices as I go along that fit my goal of eating more fruits/vegetables/whole grains/lean protein and cut out refined sugars and other simple carbs. To lose 2 pounds a week, which is my goal, I need to stay under/around 1600-1800 calories a day.
I guess when I'm eating well, a typical "diet" day would look something like this:
B: 1 slice whole wheat toast /w light peanut butter (sometimes I have a boiled/poached egg instead of the pb, or I eat oatmeal), and black coffee (200 cal)
S: 1 serving of fruit, usually an apple (100 cal)
L: salad with a lean protein (either salmon or chicken that I've prepared myself the night before, or sometimes beans), with either a little bit of a light dressing or some olive oil + vinegar, and 1/2 whole wheat pita (500 cal)
S: tea, a square of really dark chocolate, and another serving of fruit (150 cal)
D: lean protein (either salmon or chicken, whatever I didn't have at lunch) with cooked vegetables, or turkey chili (300 cal)
S: melon or a banana (100 cal)
So I guess that comes out to ~1450 cal now that I think about it, which is under my goal of a minimum of 1600. I often find myself hungry and really low energy when I eat like this, and it usually leads to a sugary-carb binge that lasts at least a few days. Also, it's pretty structured, so I get bored of what I'm eating.
I guess I need to mix things up more? Also, if I let myself have a treat, I usually end up eating the whole thing instead of just a small piece like I intended (which makes me mad because, aside from that first bite, I really don't enjoy eating cake or whatever that much -- I KNOW that the WW mantra of "nothing tastes as good as being thin" is true, but when I'm in my binge state I get all crazy and crave loads of junk that I wouldn't normally eat anyway).
So far I am eating well today (and am sipping on some green tea right now!). I bought a journal a few days ago and I think I will start logging my food soon. I will just try to eat well/plan ahead for now, and go to the gym downstairs occationally when I can. Maybe when I'm done my papers I'll join a fitness class in December to change things up. Haha, I will keep you ladies posted on my progress annoyingly I'm sure, but when it comes to food I can be needy of support!
I feel your pain!! I'm in school full time, working full time (noon to 8 pm some days, 5pm to 1 am other days), and exhausted full time. Living on coffee, soup, and a poor kid's budget. If you ever need to talk - I can certainly sympathize!
hey i am in the same boat!!! 23 and working full time and in grad school, i feel your pain, i recently started weight watchers and its working well so far, just a slow steady loss, the reason i suggest this is that you can eat whatever you like within your points, i am a BIG cake cookie person as well but ive learned to give myself one treat for 1 point at night (hotess choc. cupcakes... let me tell you!!!)
ive started eating better and planning my meals.... the first week i lost 5 pounds and i saw it working so immediately it gave me a great momentum to keep trying, i tried it in undergrad but didnt commit...you have to find something that works for you that you can stick to, i tried no carbs i tried just exercising etc but this works for me, give it a try! i feel your pain sister!!!
I think you should definitely get the food journal and start logging your calories. It also seems like maybe you're a little light on breakfast; at least I find that I am much less prone to binge throughout the day if I eat at least 400 calories for breakfast full of protein, and I actually think 600 calories is a good target to hit for breakfast, even though it makes me nervous to use up all my calories early--I definitely have fewer cravings, though, and feel more energized when I eat a big breakfast.
Also, can I just say that I hate the saying "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels?" I completely beg to differ. If I had to choose between never eating sushi again or being fat, I would choose fat. Luckily, we don't really have to make those kinds of choices, unless you have a serious trigger food that you actually can't touch. My point is, I think you may be denying yourself too much. I really think you can hit your target of 1600 calories and still indulge from time to time. Heck, look at my fitday...it's not a paragon of healthy eating but i manage to consume a reasonable amount of calories with a combination of healthy stuff and some junk (case in point: tonight, when I came home and scarfed a zucchini muffin, then made stirfry with a million veggies and no meat/pasta, then dug into my Halloween candy) and eating this way has helped me shed 25lbs I could not shed without counting calories. Incidentally I rarely touched crap before I started counting bc I thought certain foods were taboo, and now I eat some less healthy items but I eat them all in moderation. That's not necessarily what you should do, and I'm not completely happy with my results in that diet is very important to building muscle tone and I haven't been able to do that very well, but I just want to give you another p.o.v. that doing this doesn't have to mean huge sacrifices and sometimes when you think you're doing everything right, if you're not actually counting calories/points, it may not show up as weight loss.
On the plus side, I am very impressed that you make yourself meals full of lean protein. I am trying to eat more of that but I get really frustrated cooking for one and buying meat and freezing it and then being too lazy to defrost it and use it.
The lean protein has really been the only thing different about this attempt at weight loss, and I'm hopeful it will make a difference. I just had a salad with some chicken breast and am feeling reasonably satisfied. I don't bother buying in bulk and freezing it - instead I buy a package of either chicken breast or fresh fish and bake it. It really doesn't take that long, and then I portion it into three servings, so it lasts me the next couple days. I've been finding myself at the grocery store every two or three days lately, which is more often than I'm used to. But hey, I figure I'm just going there to get my food instead of eating out somewhere, so it's about the same amount of effort (haha, but yes, slightly more).
It's been a busy week with school -- working on a hugh assignment right now and it's getting me down. Ah well.
I've been logging my food since Tuesday, so today is day 5. Forest, I think you're right about being a bit too rigid -- the first day wasn't too hard, but it's been getting harder. I only ate ~1100 to ~1300 calories the first few days, so now I've been slowly trying to increase by about ~100 calories per day so I don't go into starvation mode.
I think that's why I get tired/low energy when I try to lose weight. Unfortunately, I am very much an all or nothing person (even though I've been trying to let myself have the occasional treats: I had Korean food yesterday - egg, beef, vegetables -- didn't eat the rice or the sweet, starchy sauce, so I think I did ok, and I had a slice of veggie pizza the other day, but didn't eat the crust).
I'm starting to really miss my refined carbs though. On my first day of re-dedicated effort, I had a staff meeting at work. They plop a big box of donuts in front of me. Everyone's eating one, and I can smell them for the two whole hours of the meeting. Fortunately for me, my willpower was strong at the time (plus I'm not a big donut fan - who knows what would have happened if there was coffee cake in front of me though).
I feel like I'm waning though -- should I just keep pushing through? Will my body get used to all the (horror) vegetables and fruits I'm feeding it now, and will my other cravings subside with time (after all, I've only been at it for five days), or should I just go ahead and have some Malteasers or one of those "reduced fat" banana chocolate chip cakes from Starbucks that I've been craving (which is still almost 300 calories)? I'm just worried that if I keep letting myself have sweet things, even in moderation, that it will just make me want more sweets (I know I'm kind of young to be worrying about this, but on my dad's side of the family there is a history of type II diabetes - so I'm concerned that bad eating habits with regards to sugar will do me in some day).
It's really strange - my problem is really only with sweet carbs. This morning my roommate was making some bacon. Sure it smelled good to me, but I did not have this overconsuming urge to eat it like I would had she been making pancakes or french toast, or even cereal. I wonder what that means lol.
Also it's hard to get more calories in during the morning - I'm usually not too hungry then, and also tend to be in a rush. Plus 600 calories would be a third of my food intake for the day ... I'm thinking I'll stick to ~200 calories at breakfast (with either peanut butter or an egg for protein), and then try to incorporate a midmorning snack like fruit, yogurt, or a serving of oatmeal to keep me going.
I never know if it's better to have five or six meals throughout the day, or just stick to three square meals. I know a lot of nutritionists say that you should eat small meals throughout the day to keep you feeling full and keep your metabolism going, but I feel like sometimes eating more often gives you more opportunities to overindulge, and that I would feel more satisfied eating more at once?
I went to a vintage clothing store with my friend yesterday ... kind of re-motivated me, because I'd love to fit into some of those dresses. Of course, there was a store selling Middle Eastern food upstairs and it smelled amazing. Competing devotions!
Haha, ok, I'm rambling on ... I hope some of this post made sense. lol
Working graveyards, full time student, always feeling low energy
I think you are my long lost sister...
