[TXMary2]

I think this is my third introduction. I am Mary, age 38, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, last weigh in 255 and I am hoping I am still about that weight. I have 3 children 18, 13 and 5. I really, really want to be a healthy weight and fit so I can bike ride with my kids or hike or just chase a ball in the back yard without feeling like I am going to die or need a nap!

I have come here before and I have used fitday.com before, but quit. Several months ago I started a blog because my Grandfather said if I lost 100 pounds (which is my goal) by June 1, 2010 he would give me $1000. Now I only have 8 months to do that so it isn't likely I'll make it. However, I need to lose the weight with or without the thousand bucks. I am sick of myself. I am depressed, lethargic and disgusted. I know I need to increase my activity. Right now I am home mostly every day with my two kids (we homeschool) and while my two guys are very active I am not! I am always sitting unless I am cooking or cleaning and when I am doing those things I need to sit down after a short while.

I get so lost in a depressive fog that I sometimes don't want to function. I can go 2 days without a shower because I just can't motivate myself to do so unless I need to leave the house.

I think I know what I need to do to get started, but then I start second guessing myself. I have a spiral notebook and I am going to do my measurements and go force myself to weigh on the bathroom scale in the morning. I am going to write down everything I eat and measure portions etc. I am going to start with 1800 calories a day and see what happens. Should I be drinking alot of water too?

As far as exercise goes, honestly I am afraid to do it because everytime I do I feel like I am starving afterwards and end up eating so much that it erases whatever benefit I had from exercising. Should I just start out with some floor exercises just to get my muscles in motion? For about 3 months I walked with my girlfriends and I did lose about 13 pounds during a 3 week period that I was watching what I ate, but after I stopped watching the food I put it right back on. I was "starving" when I got home from the walking and I might have been overdoing the walking too for my size- I don't know.

Anyway, all I know is that I want to be healthy and I don't want to miss out on life anymore. I want to look sexy for my husband too- I have put this 100 pounds on gradually over the last 12 years and he never says anything, but I know he'd be thrilled if I lost the weight.

Any advice?

[beerab]

Being hungry after exercise is natural and okay- what you choose to eat afterwards is the issue. Some people eat more calories on days they work out to compensate. For example you are doing 1800 a day- you can probably up to 2000 calories on days you get in a good workout.

Yes drinking lots of water is good. I drink at least 8 a day, first few days it was tough and I hated running to the bathroom every 15 minutes- but now I drink at least 8 a day no problem.

You can start with walks- I know people who have lost 40+ pounds just WALKING each night at least half an hour. I bike ride and use the treadmill, I prefer to bike ride but don't have time to go out to the trails daily so I go on weekends.

Do what works for you- slow changes are more permanent than trying to do everything at once- and you don't HAVE to be perfect, if you "slip up" and eat a doughnut that doesn't mean stuff yourself the rest of the day, find out why you ate that doughnut so you know what your triggers are, then move on!

Also- make the time for you- even if you have to say "everyday from 11 am to noon I will work out" then do so- even if the house is a filthy mess LET IT BE- you are more important than cleaning the house, if you don't make time for yourself then you won't lose weight.

I guess you cook at home- look for healthier alternatives to meals and the more food you cook from scratch the healthier and more filling it will be. Try to up the fiber content of your meals also- it will help keep you fuller for longer.

And if you are really hungry (not bored/sad/tired hungry) then eat! You shouldn't feel like you are starving while dieting- I never do. You can eat an apple, or boiled egg, or something quick to help with your dieting if you still feel hungry.

I don't buy diet food cuz I feel that it doesn't help- like those 100 calorie packs- to me it's 100 calories of non-nutritious foods- I'd rather have an apple with some pb on it- much more filling and even better for you

Good luck.

[TXMary2]

Thank you! I needed to hear those things. I decided I am going to take things slow. For "exercise" today I am going to take the dog on a walk and take my 5 yo ds with me.

I realized I do already drink a lot of water. I also have orange juice everyday, but now I need to start measuring out the serving. Upping my water shouldn't be too difficult.

I weighed myself this morning and I am 257. I also did my measurements and have everything written down. Bust 54, Waist 45.5, Hips 44 and upper arms 16. I started a food diary and changed all my stats on Fitday. I am actually feeling HOPE this morning!!! I have been looking all over 3FC at the before and after pictures and reading stories and I am really feeling like I can do this! I need this feeling to stay with me!

I don't know if there is a better place to put this, but here is my before picture. I am actually a few pounds less in this picture- at 252 in July 2009.


Obviously, I am the fat one on the left.

[beerab]

I think you look great and will only look better

Honestly for me I pretty much refuse to drink calories- I only drink water- sometimes a tiny bit of gatorade- rarely orange juice, coffee now and then. I would rather eat my calories

Good luck! Walks are great!