Ok so let me start off by saying I really don't wana sound silly or looking for pitty but it is what it is! I'm a VERY shy/quiet person I rarely talk to anyone but my sister...i don't even talk to family at all and I'm very close with them idk why but when people wana talk to me I just can't think of anything to say at all and I'm afraid to say something that makes them laugh at me and me feel uncomfortable....its held me back from a lot of things I didn't even go to any college bcuz I was afraid I'd have to do some kind of project that would make me have to find a partner and I can't get up in front of a group add that with the way I already feel about myself/ weight is torturous! Anyways fastfoward a few years I discovered chatrooms and I wanted to get to know people especialy guys (never had a boyfriend up until I was 22 and it was long distance and we never met long story) and about 4 months ago I met this really nice guy I like him but all we do is text bcuz I'm afraid to talk over the phone in a way texting is the only way I communicate with some people.... anyways he wants to talk to me on the phone today and I agreed I'm afraid after he talks and I don't that he will just leave me like others have this may be nothing to some people but to me its a huge step I don't know what to do part of me wants myself to fail but what kind of life would I have? Never get married always be alone any advice on what to say or do......this is no way to live .....ps. sorry so long I don't knw who to turn to???
Ask him a lot of questions , that way most of the conversation will be his. This will cause you to relax a little.Ask him anything. does he like to travel, is so where,. what are his hobbies. What is his job. How about his family, nieces, nephews ? What sports does he like? Does he like to read.Ask him anything, he will start talking and won't notice that you are not talking much.
Yeah, all guys are like that -- actually, we all are! Ask him a few things and get him talking. Then, he'll probably do the same to you, not just expect you to deliver a speech or something! He'll ask you if you follow a sports team, if you've ever been to see a pro football game, do you want to? Or the same set of questions, but about music. And just tell him what you think. If you can chat online, why not on the phone? You can do it!
And what you said is absolutely right -- you don't want to live your life without human contact! There're a lot of great people and great things out there, and at home there's only you, the TV, and food.
Make a list of questions to ask if you want a prompt, and don't be afraid to tell him you're kind of nervous because this is your first time talking in person.
And if absolutely necessary say you are a little shy about meeting new people, I doubt if he will find that strange,many people are nervous in new situations.
Hey! I know how you feel. I've always been pretty quiet around new people and sometimes I stumble over my words when I get nervous. I've actually dropped several college classes after finding out the final would be a presentation in front of the class..ekk! And I've bargained with professors to let me write an essay instead of doing group projects or presentations..it's no fun being that shy! BUT, there have been many MANY times I've broken out of my comfort zone and never have I regretted it. I say just go for it..talk to the boy on the phone..chances are he's a lot like you..who knows, maybe he'll be the quite one of the two of you? Or maybe he'll talk so much you feel comfortable? You'll never know until you go for it! If nothing else..just giggle a lot and act cute..boys love cute shy girls..it makes them feel manly, lol!
Maybe you can get some therapy to get over your shyness? Specially if it's impacting your life- not going to college because you are afraid of having to work in groups and so on, I'd say that this isn't a small issue. Not trying to be offensive btw- I know it's probably a touchy subject for you.
Hmmm I forgot to mention he is way younger than I am. Shouldn't matter I don't think it matters lol thank you sooo much for the advice I'm going to keep that in mind when I actualy do talk to him I gotta ask questions but not make it seem like a speech and step out of my comfort zone and giggle lol got it: Thanx! I'm so nervous I may have to run or do a few jumping jacks before I answer him
Beerab- I've always thought I've needed some kind of therapy for it but again have been too afraid to go anywhere for help...im barely at the age of 26 realizing that I don't want to live the rest of my life this way I feel trapped. Thank you for the advice It doesnt offended me
maybe you could even write down some questions or conversation starters before he calls. I'm terrible on the phone, really NOT a phone-chat person (my phone conversations are like "okthankstalktoyoumorewheniseeyoubye"), and I get nervous on the phone to people when its a call that is important to me. I had a phone interview for a job and before hand I wrote down everything- potential answers to potential questions, questions for me to ask etc. I dont think you need to worry about writing down answers for his questions, but brainstorming a few to ask him might help It made me feel less stressed too, like I was prepared and not going in blind
I am a shy person too. I remember the first time I ever talked to a guy on the phone I liked, I literally made notes about what to talk about. I was so shaky and so nervous. When I got on the phone with him though, I forgot that I had them It was so easy and natural to talk to him.I ended up dating him for six years. He brought things out of me, maybe the guy you talk to will do the same, and make it so much easier for you to talk to him.
This is definitely anxiety. I know this because I suffer from the SAME thing. I cannot even call to order pizza (when I use to eat pizza anyway). I cannot even talk to my friends on the phone and I am even to anxious to hang out with my friends. Its terrible. I really feel for you. There are so many meds out there for anxiety. SSRI's work best for people with anxiety, but unforuntially they do not work for me. It was the hardest thing for me to get help, but I did it. Anxiety never goes away. A lot of people think you can just get over it. Not true. In most cases anxiety also causes depression. They come hand in hand. If you have any questions you can always ask me. I think the best thing would be to talk to someone about whats going on. They will help you a lot. They will give you baby steps and help you over come this and make it a lifestyle change.
Good luck hun.
Last edited by momto3kittiess; 10-06-2009 at 05:38 PM.
Totally off subject but need advice
I'm a VERY shy/quiet person I rarely talk to anyone but my sister...i don't even talk to family at all and I'm very close with them idk why but when people wana talk to me I just can't think of anything to say at all and I'm afraid to say something that makes them laugh at me and me feel uncomfortable....its held me back from a lot of things I didn't even go to any college bcuz I was afraid I'd have to do some kind of project that would make me have to find a partner and I can't get up in front of a group add that with the way I already feel about myself/ weight is torturous! Anyways fastfoward a few years I discovered chatrooms and I wanted to get to know people especialy guys (never had a boyfriend up until I was 22 and it was long distance and we never met long story) and about 4 months ago I met this really nice guy I like him but all we do is text bcuz I'm afraid to talk over the phone in a way texting is the only way I communicate with some people.... anyways he wants to talk to me on the phone today and I agreed 
I'm afraid after he talks and I don't that he will just leave me like others have 
this may be nothing to some people but to me its a huge step I don't know what to do part of me wants myself to fail but what kind of life would I have? Never get married always be alone 
