[Nella]

So, I love my husband. He is trying to be supportive of my decision to get in shape, but one thing has been pissing me off. I set my goal weight at 135. This will be the smallest I have ever been since middle school. I have a large frame, and even though I am short, this will be very tiny for me. My DH said last night "Keep it up and you'll be 105 pounds before you know it!" That kinda pissed me off because that isn't my goal. I don't want to be rail thin. That would be smaller than my size 0-1 12 year old step-daughter who is the same height as me.

He just doesn't get it that at 105 pounds, I would look like those pictures of concentration camp victims. Even though the (very lame) BMI scale says that is in my range of "healthy" I know it is not possible for me. Nor do I want that. 135 pounds on me is a size 2-4. At nearly 200 pounds I am size 12. My body is just very different from the "norm" and I carry my weight well (luckily) and have always been very muscular, especially in my legs. But it's not just my DH, it's my mom too! She keep saying stuff like "when you are down to 115..." She has NO clue what my weight is now, but she assumes in the 160's, maybe 170.

Sorry if this sounded whiny, but last night that just made me so mad for him to assume that my goal weight wasn't good enough.

[stellarosa27]

I think some people just spout off numbers without thinking about it. You're goal is 135, but your DH may just think oh, 105 is a small number, etc etc, same thing with your mom.

If someone was to look at me now, I don't think they'd guess I weigh 194 - I look like I did in high school when I was very chubby and weighed 175 (thank you, current muscle mass). My "healthy" BMI is between 146 and 122. At 146 I would look emaciated, so I understand what you're saying.

Feel free to vent, because that's what we're here for I just don't think they realize what they're saying.

Maybe if you tried explaining to them?

[JulieJ08]

I think men have no idea how much women weigh. For whatever reason, a particular weight gets associated in their mind with "thin" or "beautiful" or "healthy", and if he thinks those words apply to you, then you must be that weight. Whether you're 5 foot even or 5'9". Anyway, why would anyone (who doesn't spend hours and hours on 3FC) have any idea what persons of a different height and bodytype than their own weigh? I don't think anyone who doesn't spend hours on 3FC would have any idea how much variation in weight is possible between two persons of the same height and weight (10-50#). I didn't.

Just a long-winded way of saying when most men (or really anyone) guess your weight or what you should weigh, it's just meaningless. They're wrong because they have no idea what they're talking about, not because they're being mean or unrealistic.

Chances are, he has no idea what the 12 year old weighs. He probably thinks she weighs 75 pounds. Did you tell him he set your goal at the same weight as a 12 year old?

[Nella]

Thanks girls!

I did explain to my DH that 105 is an unrealistic number for me, but he doesn't believe me. Sometimes men are such dummies! The funny thing is, he could care less if I was 105 or 305. Maybe if I beat him with a frying pan he'll drop it, lol.

Julie, I didn't tell him that about the kid. Maybe he will visualize it then. Afterall, I'm much more muscular than the kids and am large chested. Which is funny because he always jokes that I have 15 pounds in my chest alone (he may not be far off, lol).

Next time I'll be prepared with the comparison. Thanks again!

[bargoo]

Many people , especially men don't have a clue about what 100 or 200 or even 300 pounds look like. Go ahead and do what is right for you and try to turn off the remarks of people who don't know what they are talking anout.

[Serenity8675]

Men don't have a clue! My boyfriend seems to think I weigh 125 lbs., which is very flattering, but not even close!! They just don't seem to be able to visualize weight the way that women can. I'm 5'3" and my goal is also 135 lbs. - anything under that and I start to look too thin and have no boobs. So, screw what the BMI calculator says!