[PatientlyWeighting]

..how I'm feeling about my weight loss. I should be so excited but I'm not feeling good enough. I feel like I should be down more, doing better.. I'm annoyed with myself and sort of depressed. I feel like I should be scolding and punishing myself but I'm not because I'm not sure what my expectations were by this point. Ugh. I'm having a sad day.

Anybody else have days like this?

Sorry to be complaining. I'm just so.. blahh.

Edit:: I hate to bring this up. Especially here of all places. I kind of need to get it off my chest though. I was pregnant with my son and gave birth to him. Less than a year later, I had gotten pregnant a second time and my son's father insisted we not keep the second baby. He said we couldn't afford it and our relationship couldn't withstand it. During that time, I went from 225 lbs to 214 lbs. The pregnancy itself made me lose weight. After I had gone through with it, I was so depressed..My weight shot right back up again. Do you think I'm making an association with my weight and that period of my life? It was a year ago this past March. I don't know..

[wednesdaymorning]

I have days like that all the time. Even days when I wonder why I'm even trying. But I guarentee you'll feel better. As long as you stick to what you're doing now. You may be associating your weight with that time in your life, it's very possible. So keep going, and tell me how you feel in twenty pounds. Most likely a lot less depressed.

Keep up!

[bindersbee]

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. It's understandable in your situation but still a hard place to be. I don't know if you're associating your current feelings of sadness with your past situation but if you're still with the same 'man' then you have good reason to be depressed. I'm sorry he demanded you do something so very difficult- I'd be a mess in your shoes. Stress eating and lowered feelings go hand in hand.

The good news is that even weight lost slowly is still weight lost. When perfectionism kicks in, it's HARD to accept a less-than-perfect effort. We think that unless we're going all out and seeing quick results that we're somehow failing. Kick this idea to the curb. It's better to make small changes you can LIVE with than drastic ones you can never keep up with.

There's a saying by Dr. Abraham Low that I love. He says "Lower your expectations and your performance will rise". At first glance that seems dumb- of course your performance rises if you lower your standards! Upon deeper inspection the real meaning becomes clear. We are motivated to succeed when we feel successful.

I'll give a quick example. If I set my exercise goal for 60 minutes and I only manage to get in a 45 minute workout, I feel just a little bad about myself for failing to make the full goal. I worked hard but came up short. This then triggers all kinds of feelings about other issues where I came up short of my goal/desire/worth.

If I set my goal for 30 minutes MINIMUM and manage that same 45 minute workout, I now feel like a success. Each minute I go BEYOND the goal I feel like an overachiever. At the end of that same 45 minute workout, I feel like a winner and I want that feeling to continue. That plays into all the other emotional and health-related choices I make that day and reflects in the way I think and talk to myself. See the difference?

It's taken me 9 months to lose 35 lbs. That is a VERY slow pace compared to so many around here but given my personality, limitations and life situation, it's what works for me. Guess what? I've never in my LIFE continued to eat well and exercise for this long before. Each day of small effort has added up to big success over time. The same can most certainly be true for you even IF it seems so slow as to not be worth it in the beginning. The turtle was right!

You don't need to be perfect, you just need to try each day to do and be a little bit better than you were. Over time that little effort will get you closer to the goal than perfect ever could. Perfect is unstainable and negative. Better is doable and uplifting.

[rosiem]

Oh yeah, i totally get what you're saying. I have lost about 10 lbs this summer and really kicked my exercise up a bunch but still feel like i am not losing fast enough or staying on plan enough or whatever. Even though i have made lots of positive changes, i am now at the weight i more or less have been for the last couple of years- a stressful few months in the spring caused some rapid weight gain. So in some ways i feel like my progress doesn't "count" because i shouldn't have gained that weight back in the first place. But i was saying this to a friend and she said i should not discount it, it is still an achievement, and i am doing something positive for myself and my health and should focus on the good and feel proud! Which actually i think is pretty sensible advice. Women especially have a tendency to discount the positive and only really "hear" the negative (even if the voice speaking is your own)!
As for the baby and stuff, your feelings are valid- it is OK to feel sad. It is OK if this is making it harder for you to lose weight or have motivation, it makes it all the more admirable you are trying to move forward in a positive way. Just be gentle and have compassion for yourself as i'm sure you do for others. You can do it!