[Cate426]

Hi everyone!

I am not new per se, but I am new to this thread... so I thought I would take the time to introduce myself as well as explaining my story. I just needed to write this down.

Please note that I do not mean to come across as arrogant. And I'm going to keep this short lol.

For a long time, I never understood why I was so overweight. For a long time I just blamed it on the fact that my parents got sick one after another and I just used food to cope... but I never really understood my problem.

Fast forward to being 230 pounds at 19, I remember my mom talking to me in the car one day and just came right out and said "Do your looks make you uncomfortable?" And I didn't even hesitate, "Yes." I'm an attractive girl and the constant attention made me very uncomfortable...but why? The next question out of her mouth would change my life. "What happened?" she said like she already knew... and for some reason that opened up memories I had long forgotten.

When I was much younger, around 10/11, my best friend's brother used to ask me/tell me veryyy sexual things he wanted me to do him until one day he actually took me into his room and I remember sitting there on the bed praying for someone to walk through the door. Eventually the oldest brother came in....(and kicked the snot out of him)...and then I gained 75+ pounds in the next 2 years.

I completely blocked that from my memory...its difficult to explain how... and then everything just came back to me when my mother asked me what happened. But for almost 10 years I did everything I could to avoid attention: I never wore makeup, dressed in sweats and big shirts, gained more weight etc...

It's hard to "get over it".... for me, its more learning to live with the fact that I can't stand males even touching me. But ironically enough, I met a guy that I am falling for fast which has made me really evaluate what I've been doing for the past ten years. And I've begun taking care of myself. I've lost 21 pounds, wear cute clothes, shop!!! and wear makeup everyday and I must say that I'm feeling much better.

I just wanted to let it out that I've finally come to terms with what happened, put it in the past and I've accepted what needs to be done. I'm not going to live my life in fear because honestly the saying is true. Life *is* too short and I'm not going to waste another minute of it

Thanks for reading.

[Iconised Ghost]

well done on addressing something that must be so hard to even think about, and deciding not to waste more time being afraid.

And of course, welcome to the 20 somethings

[Fat Pants]

Welcome to your 20s! Of course I'm 27, but I'd say that the 20s have been my favorite decade so far.

Good for you for facing a very difficult and hard situation. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can certainly see why that would cause someone to not want any attention drawn to them! I was in a similar situation (but 15) and unfortunately, nobody interrupted. So for a long time, I also avoided attention from males... it made me VERY uncomfortable.

The good news is that you're facing it and you can finally move on. That takes a lot of courage, and you're already doing a wonderful job! Yes, life is too short to let someone else's actions dictate how you feel about yourself and keep you from being happy.

Hope it works out with this guy! And good luck on the weight loss and your journey!

[JulieJ08]

Originally Posted by Cate426

I completely blocked that from my memory...its difficult to explain how...

Don't worry about that. Lot's of women know exactly how that happens .

Congrats on facing it. It's not easy, but it's better that waiting 20 years to do it.

Give yourself a chance with your guy, he sounds nice!