He would have been able to be home more and we could get back on our feet. I know everything happens for a reason and there's a reason why I didn't get the position, but I hate to say it. I can't seem to find the reason right now. I am just so bummed out. I just got both my boys to bed about 1 1/2 hours ago and I tried to sleep. I can't. Thoughts just invade my mind, it fills like exploding. Other than this, I think of my older son starting pre-school. He needs his birth certificate and ss card. They are both in a safe at my parents' house. I doubt anybody will remember my posts from ages ago about my parents. Long story short: my parents and I haven't really talked in almost 2 years. It is ridiculous. My mom can really hold a grudge and it is killing me. I went on anti-anxiety/depression medication. Doesn't help completely... I need to call and get these back before he needs to start pre-school or he can't go. I don't think they will give them to me. They wouldn't give me anything else back.It is all just too much and I don't know what to do. All I can do is just pray. That's all I can do...and try to sleep. I am so tired all the time. ALL the time. I am tired right now, but part of me REALLY wants to go out to the kitchen and find something to eat. I am already at my target points and it is 12:15 in the morning. I CAN'T eat now. God, help me. I need major support right now.
Sorry, I am completely rambling off but it feels good to get it off my chest. Maybe I can sleep now? Or maybe I will just pass out from exhaustion.




