What zaps your motivation, and how do you recover?
I'm only in Week one of my weight loss program, and already it feels like such a long road. I think I'm starting to see a few tiny changes in my mental attitude, though ~ and maybe that means I'll be dedicated this time.
As I gaze across my desk into the clear dark sky and see the bright gigantic moon above, constant and sturdy. . .I feel like I'm at the beginning of a huge journey that is even more about weight loss itself. It's about having enough self-esteem to stay motivated. It's about becoming the person I was meant to be.
And yet, being 30 and never married with no prospects, I feel that I've been so rejected that I can barely look men in the eyes anymore. Sometimes I just want someone to put their arms around me, and accept me for the person I am inside!
Sometimes my energy for this journey really gets zapped! What keeps you all going when your motivation tank needs a refill? (Thanks so much for your time in reading this!)
Setting goals so high that I can't reach them and feeling like a hopeless failure.
Negative thinking.
A plate of warm homemade cookies in front of my face.
Times of depression.
Times of stress in my life.
Times of loneliness.
Negative comments don't really demotivate me. They usually make me angry and want to continue if only for defiance.
How do I get and stay motivated?
I try to get and stay connected with people who have the same struggles as I do. Posting here. I have a couple on-line weight loss buddies. We don't all write everyday, but we check in with each other at least once a week, and encourage each other along the way.
I weigh in once a week. Charting my weight makes me feel accountable. It also gives me a picture of my progress.
I remind myself that this is a long-term battle that has to be won moment by moment over a long period and I try to think of time as my ally instead of my enemy. Small steps taken consistently over time will take me where I want to go.
I remind myself of all the progress I HAVE made.
If I'm having a really bad day, I'll take time to think of all the good things I did that day - all the small decisions that I made. Even a day with many bad decisions has got to have SOME good decisions in it.
I keep a journal. I don't write in it everyday. I write in it when I'm really excited about something and just have to get it down on paper, but mostly I write in it when I'm kind of down and unmotivated. I write what I'm feeling and why, and any ideas I might have for solving problems.
Every so often, I try on my clothes to see if the fit has changed. If you've lost any weight, it might be really motivating to try on something that has become loose.
I look on the internet for stories of people who have successfully lost and kept off weight, preferably with pictures. When I read about and see that this battle CAN be won, and that other people have actually won it, then it's easier for me to believe that I can do it.
I am motivated now as never before because this effort has come out of a real low point in my life during which I realized that if I continued to stay the same weight or gain more, my health was at stake. But I'm changing the way I think and live and the weight loss is just one piece of the puzzle. I've also changed my outlook on life. I'm trying to be more positive, to make sure I take time to stop and smell the roses, and I may at some point even change my work. Not sure yet. If there's any change to be made though, I'm the one who has to do it. No one will live my life for me, and I'm the one who has to live with my decisions for good or for ill.
Pictures make me realize how big I am, but that by itself doesn't really motivate me. I'm used to being and looking big. I know that rejected feeling. To some people, overweight people are invisible. Fat people are looked at differently and treated differently. It may not be right, but it happens.
However, just because someone might look at me differently because they don't like the way I look doesn't mean I have to put MY life on hold. It's their problem, not mine. If someone doesn't like the way I look, they can look the other way as far as I'm concerned. I will still get out there and walk, shop, talk with people, work, dream, eat, scheme. Fat or thin, I will live.
Previously, one bite of something "forbidden", and I was done with. Not only was the diet over, but it was a sure bet that I'd put on twenty pounds before I'd start over. One negative comment, one negative stare, not just about my weight, but about anything I might be doing to further the life I want on this planet, and BAM, right back to the old, safe, unhealthy, uninspiring life. So, I didn't like me very much - everyone else seemed to like me though, and that was all that mattered.
Maybe all that was the never ending quest for perfection, maybe it was the disease to please, maybe it was just plain ole vanilla fear. Whatever it was, it not only zapped my motivation, it zapped the life right out of me!
Sure, I've changed my eating habits and my exercise habits, but what I've really done is give myself permission to take risks, screw up, and be somebody I like. I write everyday in my journal, and I praise myself for the act of trying, regardless of the outcome. (BTW, I don't screw up nearly as much as I thought I would!)
Yesterday, for example, I had a bad case of the munchies, and ate some things I would not normally eat, like half a snickers bar. But instead of beating myself up after the first bite, then downing 2 or 3 bars, I decided to split it with my hubby. I made half a candy bar ok, and as a result, it was only half a candy bar! (I'm still kind of amazed at how that works!) Long story short (obviously not THAT short), not liking myself to the point where I beat myself up over just about anything is my de-motivator, and treating myself with love and respect, then watching the results, is my motivator.
We are harder on ourselves most of the time than others would ever dream of being, and I think part of the battle is enjoying the people we are and want to be, regardless of how big the reflection is in the mirror.
I don't have much time left, but I'll jot down a few of my inspirations.
I weigh myself everyday. Not because I'm a fanatic or anything, but I'm learning how what I eat and what I do effects my weight. One slight gain motivates me to move more or eat less the next day.
Music inspires me to move a bit more when I clean the house. It's more fun to bop to the beat when doing the dishes rather then staring off into space
A beautiful day movtivates me to get off my rear and get outside. Go for a walk, go to the park or a bike ride.
My journal keeps me on track. I write down my good days and bad days, what was going on and what I did about it all. If I ate great or if I bombed, and how much I moved that day.
Trying on clothes that "used to" fit movitivates me to get back on the ball, I some day want to zipper up those jeans again Putting my clothes on now that I could barely breath in when I started this journey and have them feel lose and baggy is a WONDERFUL feeling that keeps me going.
Thats all I can do for now.. I'll try to finish my list later
Traci
The biggest thing that kills my motivation is the "now!" attitude. I want to wake up TOMORROW and be a size 8, dammit! That "now!" attitude makes me sometimes wonder if I'll ever get to the end of the road.
The way I solved that was to set mini-goals. At first, I didn't set more than one. However, I started thinking: what would happen if I didn't meet that one goal? How would I react? I realized that I'd probably give up, gain it all back, and be miserable again. I decided that, for me, it was better to set a series of small mini-goals. That way, if I missed one, I still had something attainable to shoot for.
Whatever you do, take it one day at a time. Don't dwell on the fact that you have XX number of pounds to lose. If I woke up every morning and said, "Wow, I still have 84 pounds to go!" I'd feel utterly defeated. Instead, I wake up every morning and vow to do my very best to stay OP. Most of the time, it works. Sometimes it doesn't, though, but I try (with the help of the angels I've met on this board!) to suck it up and drive on.
My biggest problem is that I let my husband's attitude and our various problems affect me too much. I need to learn to put them in a separate compartment and deal with them in a different way rather than eating or being too depressed to exercise. The nice thing is that I can usually bounce back in a day or 2.
JML has hit many of my motivators and down falls but I will go on
first is that what you need to do is make weight loss you passion not just something that you want to do, not something that you really desire you have to want it so bad you can taste it.
The difference is desire is something that you can be distracted from and you do not refocus easily, it is something that you can do without so you lose tract. Passion on the other had is somethng that you think of all the time maybe not in total consiousness but when push comes to shove it wins. like the passion you have for your husband or your kids. they will always come first.
So what to do how do I make lsoing this weight my passion???
well when you wake every morning and think of what you have to do how many times do you say to get healthy??? to lose weight to do something to my self.
have you written all the pros and cons of losing weight???
what is the pros of losing weight --- see the dreams post for ideas
what is the pros of staying heavy -- for me i can not thank of any
read this daily this will help you with your developing your passion. and i do mean write it. if you think it is will not stay in yoru mind very well. you will forget it. write it down and you will remember it better. like taking a doc appt for a simple check 2 months away. how long are you going to remember that?? not very often maybe every few days or weeks, but it is not in your mind in fact the office has to call you and remind you of the appt. if you did not put it in the calender you would not even remember it at all. if you knew that this is a very important appt. and it was posted on the fridge you would remember it now add that to the fact that it really meant something to you would remember that appt every day.
that is how you stay focused. and how you keep going
I am not saying that you wll not get distracted. but there are so many things that you can do to get back on tract. Like my favorite going to the store. if you have lost 10 lbs leave your cart at the end of the isle (the farther end) and head over to the flower and pick up a 10 lber. carry it to the end of the isle. see how heavy it is. you have worked very hard to lose this. and see how heavy it is on your knees to carry this??
that is some of the ways I do it
like today I bought 25 lbs of meat ground beef. i put it all in one bowl. that is a lot of weight try to pick itup it is heavy!!!! it also was huge!!! it is thinking like that that helps keep me ontract.
then there is the rewards like the other dayi was driving and a but load of guys all waved at me. (I will admit they were prison guys coming back from a work stint, but it was stll nice to have them look where a year ago they would not have even looked)
You guys have totally blown me away with your support, suggestions, and totally excellent ideas! I got something wonderful out of each and every post, and I just want to thank everyone so very much for taking the time to respond to my "musings"! I'm going to print out a hard copy of all of this wonderful information and start a journal / scrapbook about this journey!
What zaps your motivation, and how do you recover?
Putting my clothes on now that I could barely breath in when I started this journey and have them feel lose and baggy is a WONDERFUL feeling that keeps me going.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
