There Is No "Starting Over."

  • That's right, there isn't. Sorry, it's just not allowed! It's inevitable that you're going to have good days and bad days but don't look at those bad days as a failure, don't look at them as the end of your healthy lifestyle and so you'll have to "start over" again tomorrow, next week or next year. They are not the end of anything, they're just another day, they're still part of your lifestyle. Accept them and perhaps work on counteracting them. We, as humans, are flawed beings. No one is perfect. So know those bad days will hit you up every now and then and be ready to accept that they happen and also accept that you can do something about them!
  • Well said.
  • Very well said! I keep this in mind all the time. This is my new life and there will be ups and downs, but it's forever going on.
  • Well, there's always one in the room to disagree and I'll be it!

    Sometimes, yes, you can start over. Sometimes a "failure"--or as I like to call it--a lapse happens because you need to do something, or learn something, and change something before you can go on.

    So, yes, in that case, you "start over." You go from one way of doing things to another.

    And the re-committment that comes with "starting over" is not to be dismissed--but celebrated!
  • Life is what we make it. Whatever decision we make in this world, just be sure not to blame anyone if something happens along the way.
  • This is the thread I needed to read this morning after two days of pre-TOM binging (and putting on 4 lbs).

    Thank you.
  • I completely agree with this post. If you are always "starting over" then you are approaching this completely wrong. Permanent weight loss is about a life change and once you make that change, there's no going back, there's no need to keep starting over. You can't look at your weight loss attempts as starting new diets, etc. because inevitably you are going to run into an obstacle and it will be too easy to STOP. A permanent life change is not something you start and stop. Within that change you accept that some days you will eat more, some less. Some days you will exercise more, some less. But overall you are going to try to eat healthier and exercise more most of the time. If you keep thinking of it as starting over every time you do something that isn't the best choice, you'll always be starting over and you'll never get to where you want to be.
  • Thank you TMG2008 that is exactly what I was getting at!
  • You always have a start over. Even if it is a start over to not start over!:
  • I think starting over is an illusion. Because whatever you did before "starting over" is still with you. You don't get absolved of the consequences. Your "last" binge isn't a calorie-freebie I think the concept of starting over messes with our heads in at least a couple ways: (1) It makes us rationalize things like the aforementioned last binge before starting over; (2) We never get the strengthening experience of seeing things through. When you start over, you're either leaving behind the good or denying that there was any good. Neither serves you well. You can have, say, the experience of a year of ups and downs and learning; or you can have the experience of 7 short-lived diets that ended in failures.

    "Starting over" can still be a useful tool, giving you the energy and motivation to get started. But it can be a dangerous tool, enticing you to always be dumping your "failures" and starting over, and never really owning all your reality. In that respect, "starting over" is just an act of deferring pain - the pain of facing and owning all your reality. It's a only a deferment, you have to face it eventually. Maybe that's a bargain that will serve you well, maybe it's not. Obviously, if it's happening over and over, it's not serving.