[Nepenthe]

Hi, everyone. I'm so glad to be here, and I hope I can find help stopping my unhealthy habits and losing weight in a positive way. I've got a long story that I feel like I need to get out before I can get on with my new, healthy life, so here goes nothing.

I've always had a lot of stress in my life, and it hit a peak when I went to college and was challenged with hard classwork and the need to support myself at a time when I could rarely find the motivation to deal with it. I became a total emotional eater - I'd put off a huge project until the night before it was due, then stay up all night and make myself a whole pizza and a pan of brownies to "help" me deal with the work.

I guess I owe a lot to my metabolism, because despite my new baking hobby and my inability to resist stopping at every fast food place I passed whenever I was on campus, the weight crept on slowly enough that I barely noticed it. Last summer, I finally stepped on a scale and discovered that I had hit 142 pounds - a bmi of 26 for my 5'2" height, and my highest weight (since my obese childhood, which is another story entirely).

Although I was only five or six pounds overweight, I immediately flew into a panic fueled by memories of how big I was when I was younger. Right away, all of my terror at being overweight combined with my feeling that I lacked control over every aspect of my life, and I became determined to lose the weight at any cost. I started limiting myself to 1000 calories per day and making myself exercise for 20 minutes every day possible. Slowly, the amount of calories went down and the exercise went up, until I reached a point where I'd eat nothing at all but be too weak to work out for three days, then lose control and eat everything in sight for another three days, then start all over again.

I need to change, and I feel like I'm ready. I have lost weight in all the time I've been doing this - I'm 128 pounds, which is in the healthy range for my height. But this "diet" has left me at about 32% body fat and a waist-hip ratio of 0.85, which as far as I know border on qualifying me as obese. I've starved off all my muscle and gained back fat, and I need to get rid of it any way possible.

This is further complicated by arthritis in my hands that makes it impossible for me to grip weights over two or three pounds, not to mention that I don't like most meat and even if I did, I can't afford to buy anything that's not on sale. I don't know how I'll ever manage to build muscle and lose fat, but I have to try. It'll be a great challenge in terms of money, time, patience, motivation, and self-esteem, but I have to believe in myself, and that's why I'm here.

Thanks to anyone who managed to get through my story!

[stillclock]

hi!

sounds like you know what you need to do at some kind of intellectual level. it's the heart that rules the day too often though eh?

i hope you figure it out, and i really look forward to moving towards much better lives together!

isolde

[Tryingtostayskinny]

I have had yo-yo issues, I hear where you are coming from! Acknowledging the problem is a step in the right direction.

[Nepenthe]

Thanks for the support! I'm browsing the forums right now and finding all kinds of great resources that will help me out a lot as long as I can find the motivation to stick with a plan.

[midwife]

Welcome!!!! Look around and settle in! We have forums based on age, eating plan, exercise and more! I'm glad you are here!

Remember: discipline is more reliable than motivation.

[dy23bro]

Breaking out of the yo-yo dieting cycle in college can feel impossible when you're juggling classes, stress, and trying to eat right on a budget. What helped me was stepping back and looking at the patterns—how stress and deadlines always led me back to bad habits. I realized the issue wasn’t just food, it was time and burnout. Getting support made a big difference, not just with meals but with schoolwork too. Using an essay paper writing service like PaperAp gave me the space to breathe a bit more. They’ve got experienced writers who handle anything from essays to full dissertations, which helped me stop staying up all night trying to do everything alone. When your mental load lightens, it’s easier to focus on consistency—in health, studies, and mindset. Sometimes it’s not about doing more, but doing smarter.