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Old 04-16-2009, 03:45 AM   #1  
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Default I am utterly disgusted!

With myself of course. I've been overweight since elementary school, but in the last 8 years have lost weight several times, just to gain it back. This time I hope to find some encouragement & friends who are or have been in the same boat as me so I can get healthy & fit and make it last. Here is a brief description of my battle:

First off, I am 32, weight 244lbs (yikes that even hurts to TYPE!), 5'5".

* Overweight since childhood, which of course didn't change through my late teens/early 20's.
* Got married in 1998 when I was 22--gained more weight! Well, to be honest he liked fat chicks...so I guess he didn't mind.
* Diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 2000 & started on Synthroid, which made me lose about 15lbs.
*Separated in 2001. (divorce final in 2002)
* Started weight watchers Jan 2002 and joined Curves.
*Lost 42lbs in 4 months!
*Met my boyfriend August 2002 (Uh Oh, HeRe comes the weight!)
*By 2007, regained 40 lbs! UGH!
*By the end of 2007, lost 17 lbs doing Nutrisytem and Billy Blank's Bootcamp DVD's ---YES they are extremely FUN!
*Fell off the wagon AGAIN and began eating and being lazy.
*April 2008 to June I went to weight loss clinic--took Phentermine, HCG injections, B12 injections, & 600-800 calorie diet. Lost 25 lbs Yay!
*Summer of 2008, had to stop clinic - too expensive! And surprise surprise--I gained it ALL back, PLUS some!

So you see, I've been in a weight war with myself my whole life, but especially in the last few years.

What prompted me to come here tonight is that I was looking for something to wear to a wedding this coming weekend---and guess what? NOTHING fits! Which, brought me to my opening statement.

Sorry for being so long-winded, but I'm just upset with myself. This is a wake-up call for me to get off my rear and do something about this miserable state I've gotten myself into.

I would love to find some supportive friends along the way--any support or comments is appreciated.
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Old 04-16-2009, 04:14 AM   #2  
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goodness, so you DO have he motivation... you CAN do it you just need the dicipline to keep it all off
well, i just joined a few days ago and i feel so motivated to lose this weight, i think you're in the best place welcome xxx
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Old 04-16-2009, 04:34 AM   #3  
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Hi Twilight Nurse!

I can relate and would love to share things going forward. I took pictures of myself tonight and I am still so shocked that I can't even sleep - you can check them out in mini goal photos. I SWORE I would never let myself get like that again. What the **** happened?

I lost about 70 pounds a few years ago and have gained 40 back. I have a variety of excuses but that's all they are is excuses.

I get on the wagon for awhile and when I fall off, it takes me forever to get back on. I am hoping to use this site to help me get on it really quickly, because I can't expect I won't fall off now and then and nor should anyone.

I look forward to continuing to chat with you!! Good luck!
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Old 04-16-2009, 04:44 AM   #4  
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"When you feel like giving up, remember why you tried for so long in the first place."
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Old 04-16-2009, 05:07 AM   #5  
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I'm a bit shorter, therefore started proportionally a bit heavier, and I recognize the constant war AND the fact that it's not the motivation to lose it's the motivation to keep it off.... so a hug and a well done! for coming here today.

Have you a plan of attack for this, your final and successful attempt?

I am a total fan of calorie counting - it means nothing is forbidden, social life is still possible with normal, non-dieting humans, and it's a way of life that can easily be followed in maintenance. Sheesh, NOW I understand that!?! Why couldn't I have got the maintenance thing the last time? Or the time before?

Good luck, and I look forward to journeying together here on 3fc.
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Old 04-16-2009, 09:09 AM   #6  
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I relate to your frustration. It's so hard to yo yo up and down. I've never stuck with anything long enough to lose more than 22 lbs.- before now. I'm losing pretty well now because I quit dieting and started to just listen to when my body tells me to eat rather than the clock. If you want to work on the head-games part of weight loss, the books "I Can Make You Thin" or "Intuitive Eating" are a good read. They aren't the be all- end all but certainly help you adjust mentally to an attitude that increases success. Worth a read anyway even if you go another direction with your efforts.

Welcome. It's never too late. Cut yourself some slack for falling down in the past- you were just researching and found what DIDN'T work. Now your ready to find what will. You CAN do this and you'll be so proud of yourself when you do.
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Old 04-16-2009, 04:47 PM   #7  
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Hi to everyone, and thanks for the encouragement. My first change on this journey will be tapering myself off of regular sodas and clearing my cabinets of sweets and junk. After all, it's hard to resist something if it's staring me in the face. Out of sight, out of mind. I also intend to start making my own lunch to take to work. I work 12 hour night shifts, so there is nothing available to me except a revolving snack machine full of junk food - we actually call it the "Wheel of Death" lol. If I were to wait until I got home in the morning, I'd be ravished and probably eat way more than I need to, and then of course go to bed on it! Not good....which also brings me to another change....I want to stop eating right before going to bed, maybe 2-3 hours before. Plus, today I turned my eliptical-turned-purse-rack back into an eliptical. I just did my first 20 minutes in a long time and boy I didn't realize how easily winded I could get these days! I eventually hope to go back to doing the Tae-Bo DVD's because they are really fun--I'm afraid my ankles couldn't take right now with all this extra weight. Anyway, I have to go get ready for work now. I hope to get some photos up soon--the ones I tried to upload are apparently too big, so I must take more.

Hope you all have a great night.
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Old 04-17-2009, 10:19 PM   #8  
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Working 12 hr night shifts is a challenge. I find that packing my food and planning out for the full 24 hr cycle is helpful. I also try to not eat "free" food at the hospital. I know patients' families mean well with the pizza, donuts, etc., but I sure don't need them.

Welcome to 3FC!
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