Hi, I was surfing today and came across this wonderful sight. I have struggled with my weight most of my life. I was always on the big side but junior high started me with disordered eating (border bulimic/anorexic) I lost a lot of weight and got so many complements but of course gained much of it back. My weight slowly crept up to 220 by time I graduated highschool. I went off to college and gained alot more than the freshmen 10. I will cut the story short but at the age of 22 I hit 285 and was a size 26/28. I stopped taking the birth control pill after 7 years (and health complications) and stopped drinking coke (I worked in fast food and drank from the fountain all day) and dropped close to 20 lbs. I had a starve, binge and sometimes purge mentality that shot me back up to 285. I had enough and tried hypnosis. I totally changed my eating habits and got in shape and made it down to 185. I struggle with motivation after that and over 5 years packed about 50 back on. I should have nipped the gain in the bud with more hypnosis but I didn't have the means and my partner was very unsupportive and we ate alot together. Today I am 222. I was actually down to 215 a few days ago according to the scale. No matter. Today I am starting on about 35 points. I am seeing my hypnotherapist on Friday and I will beat this. My goal is to of course get down to 185 again where I was a svelte size 12. I carry alot of weight quite well. My second goal will be 170, then 160 then 145. That apparently is my goal weight according to height/weight charts. I won't kill myself to get there though. I am not sure if that is a healthy weight for me. The last time I saw 140 I was in a size 5 juniors and I had to starve myself.
Most of my family is heavy and struggles. Diabetes runs in my family and I don't want to be another statistic. On the upside I have seen a nutritionist so I know what type of diet works well for me.. I just have to stick to it.. and not gimmicks! I also love to work out. It just seems like I do great with eating and working out for a week or so but then I "cheat' and it triggers a binge and then I fall back into bad habits for a few days. I admit, being unemployed didn't help either. I need to find balance and not look for a quick fix. I have tendencies to obsess over ProAna sites (I know it isn't healthy, especially with my history) and I was recently over exercising at 2 hours a day. I appreciate your support and feedback~
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Thanks for being there
just getting started too
