Okay, I am on the road of trying to make a better life change for myself of eating healthier and walking. So, here's the issuse.....
1) Someone asked why I was eating a salad for lunch instead of Fast food, My reply " I'm trying to eat healthier and hopefully lose some pounds' they said "OOHH!"
2)A different person said " I hear you were trying to lose weight?" I said "I'm mostly just trying to make healthier food choices" they repiled " well, you can't lose weight unless you count calories"
3) After persons 1 & 2 , my aunt finds out and says " I hear you're trying to lose weight without doing it properly" I said " what gives you the right to say I'm doing it wrong?" she said" no calorier, fat,carb, sugar counting is wrong. You won't lose weight that way, young lady"
Man, was I ticked after that!!! First off, I am doing this MY way. I am making better food choices and walking every day for ME! No, the pounds my not fall off but, I am working on making better choices and keeping myself acountable with the support of all of you plus, my friends and other family members that know what I have been through and think that what I am doing is a good thing.
How do you handle people wo can't mind their own business????
~Jenn
You can say it kindly, or angrily with a simle or with a frown. You can say it anyway you'd like, "I appreciate your concern, but I've got this under control," or you can say shout in anger "Mind your own blankety-blank business."
Personally I tend to use the kind approach several times with a given person before resorting to the angry (unless it's a stranger with obvious ill intent, then I will be more blunt).
Well- I'm sarcastic and mean- so I don't want to give any advice! lol.
It sounds like you're coming from the right place- which is that you are trying to find what works for YOU- not your co-workers or your aunt or anybody else- but YOU!! Just best not to listen to them and keep plugging along. Hopefully they will eventually stop trying to give you unwanted advice and start coming to you for your advice instead.
Im tempted to make it back fire on them. Like for person 2, give them a horrified hurt look and say "no...who told you that? You think i need to? *sniff* how could you say that in public? No, dont try to comfort me, i know what you really think of me now...", or for person number 1 give them a disgusted look and ask why they chose the artery clogging option instead of the salad.
But im just mean i guess Try to avoid/ignore those people, they have no clue what they are talking about
passive/agressive response: after they say it give them a quick once over- move your eyes up & down their body then meet their gaze and say sweetly "I'll keep that in mind,"
this is what I did when someone 2 sizes larger than me got on her high horse about how I should not be eating cheese...
Hehe, I think the time I spent living in NYC has changed my "please mind your own business" to something a little shorter...
Honestly though, they're probably just compensating for their own insecurities and miseries... they'll probably get even ruder the more successful you are at this. Pity them, ignore them, or both, just don't let them get in the way of you achieving your goals!
Honestly...tell them to F*** O** and stop talking to them, don't answer their phone calls and don't go out with them again. If they want to be around you, they must not treat you that way, it's a rule and they should stick to it.
I usuall just say 'Thank you for your opinion' and carry on eating. It gives people a kick if they think they've wound you up somehow, saddoes, ignoring their spitefulness is the best defence.
I don't think most people intend to be rude. Let's face it, most of us like to share our opinions (it's why some of us are even here), but the fact is an opinion is just that, an opinion.
Personally, I wish weight loss and healthy eating wasn't such a taboo subject. The day that discussing weight loss and diet becomes as socially acceptable as talking about the weather, is probably a long ways off, but it is going to start with people talking about what they know (and even what they think they know).
You can take offense if you want to, but you don't have to. If only "welcome" and agreed-upon opinions could be shared, people would probably have to just not talk to each other, ever. That doesn't mean that you have to respect every opinion you hear, either, and if you don't WANT to talk about any subject (even the weather), you have every right to express your desire to have the topic dropped or changed.
Most of the time, advice is meant to be helpful, or to make conversation. The person usually isn't thinking through what they're saying and how it will sound. They're just sharing what they think is true. Inappropriate? Perhaps, but unless you've never stuck your foot in your own mouth, I think a zero-tolerance policy is inappropriately harsh. Who among us hasn't said something that we realized seeing the person's reaction, or later realized was hurtful, or could have been? Sometimes the topic seemed innocent enough at the time, or we thought we were "close enough" to the person to cross a boundary we wouldn't normally - but mainly we just didn't think clearly or well.
I think that giving other folks the benefit of the doubt WITHOUT allowing ourselves to be a doormat is the best course of action. Express your discomfort with the topic, but you don't have to write off people unless you're sure their intent was evil.
Your post makes me suddenly grateful for the people I work with. Today I am bringing in blondies to cheer up a stressed-out coworker, because he loves it when I bake. Everybody there knows I'm not going to eat them, and they won't ask or try to cajole me into breaking my diet or even mention it, probably. They all know I'm losing weight, and they feel free to ask how it's going, sometimes to an annoying degree, but they don't give me advice or tell me I'm doing it wrong (mostly).
I'm sorry the people in your life feel they have the right to do that to you. They should be supporting you and cheering you on until you *ask* for their input. I agree with kaplods (as usual). Just tell them as politely as you can/feel like that when you want their opinion, you'll ask.
Just keep believing in yourself and do what you feel is correct.No one has to have a problem with a personal diet or lifestyle that you choose for yourself specially if that's for your betterment!!!Just follow your inner instincts and you can do it.
I love the spectrum of responses you get on this site.
Me, I'd want to tell them to **** off, but, having been raised to be a sweet Southern lady, I'd likely just smile and thank them for their concern then go on about my business.
Lets see, how do I phrase this without sounding like a mean old lady...hummm. "Suck it up honey and get that skin thickened up QUICK!"
You have just begun your journey, and to me it sounds like you are already frustrated. I can personally testify that it won't get easier, people won't stop talking, and you will become the discussion of much gossip, rumor and speculation. You just got to let it roll. (I'm still learning how to do this, but it does get easier.) Keep doing what you are doing and don't let ANYONE make you feel like you don't deserve to do what you have set out to do. Please, just smile and ignore. I promise you that it is the only way you're going to make it honey. Smile and walk away. Some pretty smart people here at 3FC have taught me the art, and it has made a HUGE difference in my personal success. Don't get me wrong, I come here and do my fair share of griping about it...but I reserve that for you Chickie's. I try with every ounce of my being to keep the peace with my neighbors and colleges. (It bugs the heck out of them...(hehe)
Don't judge me, I'm only human
Try to avoid/ignore those people, they have no clue what they are talking about
