So here is my issue..... recently my husband has lost 20+ pounds in the span of 3 months or so. (20 pounds he didn't really need to lose). So now here I am morbidly obese wife of skinny husband. I want to be happy for him, but am finding it increasingly difficult. I know I know I know shallow, vain, insecure. I don't care, his size 34 pants are falling off of him and I feel like a cow. We just took a shower together and I felt self conscious for the first time in over 10 years. Not to mention he acted like I wasn't even there. Now here I sit sobbing feeling sorry for myself. I hate this feeling!!!! Anyway there it is, my feelings right now. A mix between sad, kind of angry, and scared. I need a drink.....a strong one!
Nursemp. (hugs)
I am sorry you are feeling poorly. You aren't shallow or vain. Maybe you could focus on the fact that you're down 14 lbs! Which is great!!
It's a weird thing with relationships and feelings. I find that when I am self conscious or sad about myself, my husband NEVER reacts the way I am hoping he will. I suppose he can't read my mind but I always assume he is a little more in tune with my feelings.
I'm quite sure that he and his mind-reading abilities won't change but what I can change is my approach to my own life.
These unhappy feelings will pass.
It is important to not translate your husbands success as a failure for you because it isn't. You have a 14 lb loss that is just as much a success.
I hope you will have a better day tomorrow.
Tam
I'm not sure what there is to be done about this, except tell you that you are not shallow or vain for being insecure -- you are human! I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about your body. Losing weight and having a healthy lifestyle isn't just about a change on the outside, it's about feeling good about yourself on the inside too, and it looks like you've been losing some weight too! You can't discount that just because your husband has lost more. Keep your chin up, you are worth it.
Well I don't quite know what to say, but I will give it a shot. Maybe you are envious that he lost the weight? I would be too (especially if he didnt need to). I think the first thing you need to do is let yourself feel those feelings, it is okay to feel sorry for yourself (for a time). BUT, DON'T KEEP FEELING IT. You have to remember that your feelings are not YOU. They are just feelings. They come and go. So, it is okay to have a cry or be angry (Lord knows I do that a lot). But then say to yourself, "OK. I got that out of my system." Even if you really didn't quite get it all out. You have to tell yourself that you are going to get past this bit of emotions. I don't know what your relationship is with your husband but, depending on that, maybe you should sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel. Get it out there.
If it were me, I would suggest not showering with him if it is going to make you feel like this. Tell yourself you are going to lose the weight then surprise him with a shower when it is gone or near gone [the weight that is] and then "knock his socks off".
Girl, just pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going! Keep right on losing and then (real soon) you can look in the mirror and say, "Dang, I look good!" In fact, you should start saying that now. One thing is for sure....your picture is gorgeous!
I hate that too. It's like that commercial for that diet pill or drink or something, where the guy drinks water and gets skinny, the dog drinks water and gets skinny, and the girl drinks water and her boobs shrink!
I can totally relate. I've hit a wall over the past 2 weeks, and my husband keeps losing. I actually went up a few pounds. It makes me angry at him, and I shouldn't let it get to me like that. It's just a slap in the face because we're eating the same things... if anything, I am eating better/less and actually exercising! The only exercise he gets is walking.
It's frustrating because I am the one who initiated this effort. He just sort of followed once I changed my diet and we started eating at home more. But you have to remember that our bodies are designed differently. It's a lot easier for some men. If your husband is like mine, he just has the belly and maybe some extra chin to lose. We need to lose the same amount of weight (we gained together over a period of almost 9 years... been together since high school), but my 60 pounds is distributed ALL OVER my body! Yes, it's unfair!
my best friend is a guy, an athlete, and it is too funny how I am constantly focused on losing weight while he is trying to put on some weight. He tells me how hard it is and how he can't eat any more food than he already is, etc, etc. Lol. It is funny, and I really have a hard time feeling sorry for him.
feeling down!!!
I'm not sure what there is to be done about this, except tell you that you are not shallow or vain for being insecure -- you are human! I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about your body. Losing weight and having a healthy lifestyle isn't just about a change on the outside, it's about feeling good about yourself on the inside too, and it looks like you've been losing some weight too! You can't discount that just because your husband has lost more. Keep your chin up, you are worth it.
