Not sure what I've done or if the forums have there own members and don't like outsiders. I've asked the moderators for help with ticker issues that arent addressed in the FAQs - no response. I've tried to get involved with some of the forums and again, no acknowledgement; seems responses are only for a select few. I've come back and tried a few times. I think doing it on my own is preferrable to being ignored.
I just wish everyone would be open to newcomers wishing to be part of a group. New people need more than the "we're here for you" messages on the first day
Sorry you are feeling left out. I hope you reconsider the giving up part. I looked back over your last few posts and in the last year you have posted less than a dozen times. It's really hard to get noticed when you rarely post. If you want to lose weight, you'll do it. I hope you don't give up on that part.
Last edited by Lori Bell; 03-12-2009 at 11:09 AM.
Reason: spelling!!!!!
I am sorry you feel that way. Don't give up on 3FC. This board is just soo big. I know that it's hard to fit into a group sometimes, or sometimes posts do go unanswered (it has happened to me before). Have you tried maybe just joining one particular group, and focusing all your energy on there? Have you PMed anyone? I have been to other message boards, and honestly, this one has them all beat as far as response goes... I think it just takes a little time.
Either way, I am sorry you feel the way you do, and regardless of whether or not you stick with 3FC I hope that you do well on your weight loss journey.
I'm sorry you feel like that - I know it can be hard to feel like you belong when the board is so big. I agree with the previous poster, the best thing to do is to post away! I'm "new" here again and it can take a while to feel like you belong. Just keep reading and posting, don't give up...this board is a great place for support. Have you tried asking general members for help with the tickers? Someone may be able to help.
The tickers took me a while to figure out too. You have to copy and post the html code that is created in your signature and then you can preview it. Try going to www.3fatchicks.com/diet/weight-tracker/
In regards to groups, try finding a support buddy or two with similar goals. I have a few and it works out well to keep up the motivation so far. Good luck and don't give up.
I agree, don't give up. I think people are often busy and only respond to things they feel they need to within their time limit. I can tell you that there are times when my posts go without any sort of response. It is just like with any conversation, sometimes people and/or topics are passed over and other times they are not. I don't think it is personal or intentional is what I'm saying. I mean a month or so ago I posted in a particular forum for my age and no one even noticed me introducing myself. lol...it happens to all of us.
One tip is to try to get involved in the weekly threads. As for the ticker, I just copied and pasted the code into my signature. What exactly is the problem with your ticker?
I agree with Lori and others....the more you post, the more people can get to know you.
That being said....I have felt invisible here sometimes too. I feel pretty invisible on my Biggest Loser team this time. But that's okay--I'm posting for myself anyway.
Personally, I am not very comfortable starting threads. Part of that is not wanting to stress out over whether I get any responses. I'm more comfortable lurking and posting in other folk's threads whenever I feel I have a little something to add. That has been working pretty well for me.
Even though I don't start threads, I find reading and posting a little very helpful in keeping me on track.
I hope that you find find an approach that works for you, both in the forums and in your lifestyle. Good luck!
One thing to try to remember is that most people aren't going to know whether you're new or not, or how many times you've posted...this isn't like a party of maybe a dozen people, who would notice when someone new comes into the room. No one's intentionally snubbing you.
It's almost like walking into a mall, it isn't likely that someone is going to recognize that you're new, take you under their wing and show you how to navigate the mall.
This place is just crowded, and like any crowd you've got to really speak up to be noticed, and still sometimes you won't be. Even those of us who are very active on the boards routinely experience what you are experiencing. You ask a question or make a comment and....... nothing. We even have a name for it "thread killing." If I can find the thread I'll link it here so you can read what I'm talking about.
There are many reasons your post could have been overlooked or missed, and intentional snubbing and cliquishness probably is last on the list. Because of the way in which many of us browse the site, we don't even know who is new and who isn't. I have a very bad memory for names, and so I recognize only a few usernames here. I usually don't even pay attention to who is posting, or how long someone has been here, unless they draw attention to the fact.
Some tips, though that might help.
If you want to talk to the moderators, use PM (Private Message, there's a link up on the upper right corner of the screen). Posting in a thread, may not be noticed (they can't be everywhere at all times, and don't have the time to read every single post).
Expect at least 3/4 of your messages to go without a response. I know that seems horrible, but those were pretty much the odds when I started. I'd say I've got it down to 1/4 now, but not because people are recognizing me and being nice or paying attention because of it - rather I've learned through trial and error how to write in a way that gets a response (if that is what I'm needing).
You've got to be very outgoing to get noticed (not that much different than real life in large, crowded groups. It's like trying to make friends in college in a lecture hall of 400 students, or at a huge business conference. You've got to really stand out for folks to notice).
Good post, Kaplods. I just wanted to add that there are so many parts of this forum that I don't go to or don't participate in. I've found a couple of places that feel comfortable to me and that's where I stay. But I've had posts ignored, too. Oh well! I still enjoy the comments from everyone.
I hope that you see how many people have reached out to you with this thread...
I find joining a challenge helps to connect with other people..Also, I only post in a few areas of the site, but post there often, and really I do it for myself more than anything else...if I get a response it's great, but the most important thing is I am announcing to myself how I feel...
Please stay here, and you will get out of the site more as you post and participate....at least that's what has worked for me....Good luck!!
It's almost like walking into a mall, it isn't likely that someone is going to recognize that you're new, take you under their wing and show you how to navigate the mall.
Great analogy kaplods!
Yes I'm new and I even a "man" (ewwwwwwww!) LOL!
Like in any social situation it takes a while for people to recognize your screen name. This is a very friendly place, newcomers are not snubbed for sure!
Maybe it might help to get known just in one or two sub sections? I only visit about 3 of them myself.
And if it is responses you are looking for just post a few controversial posts or something like.
"I am going to eat once a day and only eat 600 calories a day, what do yall think about that?" LOL!
I GUARENTEE you'll get a lot of responses! HA!
... no seriously just start posting and you will soon be in the thick of it... this place is VERY addicting! LOL! I check it out FIRST thing now!
Everyone gave alot of good responses to you and I really hope you atleast check back here and decide to stay This site is a great support system
I am a huge forum whore lol. I have joined and even run so many forums I can't even keep track sometimes lol. It is really hard when you are new. Not because people are snobs or don't like new people but really it is our own feelings that make us feel like that.
We read posts and see how friendly people are to one another and how they connect, but really it is that many of them know each other and have been talking back and forth for awhile now. And I am sure they would love more people to talk to we just pysch ourselves out, it makes us feel left out or like the akward new kid lol. The only thing that really helps is just jumping in and speaking up.
Lurk for a bit and really get the feel of what each different sub-forum is all about and which ones are more popular then others. There will always be a specific topic that gets way less attention then the others. Secondly respond to others posts! I love reading all the other threads and get to know other people and even saying congrats or offering encouragement to others really gets your name out there more and helps you feel like more part of the group.
When you make a post really take time to word it well, make sure you post it in the right topic area, Don't make it too long or too short. Like this is probably way too long no one will read it lmao. pay attention to the activity of the board at that time. Sometimes posts get skipped over just because they ended up getting posted at a bad time and other posts quickly lose them. Lastly don't take offense if no one responds. Sometimes people just didn't have anything to say or those who would just didn't get a chance to read it. Sometimes it takes a while to get responses. I posted one thread that just sat there for what felt like ever empty and then one day I just got a ton of replies lol
It takes a while for people to get to know you so it helps if you post often. Also, as a veteran of many message boards over the years, some people prefer seeing somewhat familiar names before they invest time in personal responses. It is somewhat disheartening to put a lot of time and effort into a personal response only to find out that person never came back online to maybe read it.
I tend to post all over the place and I don't usually have anything really profound to say. LOL So, these people probably aren't going to respond to MY post. That's ok because maybe I said something useful for someone. If nothing else, I made the comment I wanted to make.
I do post in a couple of forums regularly and those people are beginning to get to know me and I'm getting more responses to my posts there.
Hang in there...3FC really does have a place for everyone.
I give up...
This site is a great support system 
