My boyfriend and I were discussing how to lessen my obsession with my weight back on the 2nd January, so about 2 weeks ago. I made a journal entry (with him there) about how I thought - I meant it and I suppose I still do, but its HARD - getting rid of the scales might help.
So I got up next morning and he'd removed them from the house, never to be seen again, donated them to a charity shop or something.
At first I was pleased.
But now, I'm overexercising, writing everything I eat down in obsessive manner and nearly on the verge of tears because I CAN'T know my weight.
So I've just started taking body measurements instead.
Feels fruitless, I'd rather just have some scales again. But didn't I have a goal here, to get rid of them and so avoid having my day dictated by a stupid bit of metal?
I can "feel" myself getting fatter. I want to cry when I sit down. All the flab...help. Yuk.
My boyfriend is great, he assures me I'm doing well not to have weighed for so long (for me, its a long time) and points out how helpful I maintained it would be and that I'm beautiful etc etc.
I'm not about to buy some behind his back, but I might buy some anyway because I'm going MAD. What is this achieving? I don't really know.
Last edited by CousinRockingChair; 01-16-2009 at 04:49 AM.
If you really need to know your weight why not go into Boots and weigh there. At least that way you will know your weight but it will be inconvenient enough for you so that you won't be weighing all the time (unless you worked there or something). Getting rid of the scales hasn't stopped you obsessing has it?
noooo cos I'll be dressed and itll be inaccurate..how do I know how much my clothes weigh? What if I were 145lbs in Boots...have I gained 5lbs or is it say clothing? I'd have to go really early in the morning before I ate or drank anything? It'd mess up my mind more.
Although it was a common sense suggestion, I'm not sane enough for it
Hello, Emily! Of course you are feeling insecure. You're undergoing withdrawal. It will get better as you continue to go without. You are not going to be "struck fat" because you have no scale. You know this.
Your exact, precise, perfect weight doesn't matter. Use the scale at Boots as the other poster recommended--of course it will be more than you're used to with your clothes on, but you can cope with that. Just be sure to drop in at about the same time of day when you do go. Keep a record in your day planner if you like.
I think going without for awhile is probably a good thing in your case, even though it's uncomfortable. (I say this because you and I have both been around here awhile and I know you a little bit. )
Mm, I agree with JayEll. For peace of mind, you might need to weigh yourself, but by not having a scale at home it's not so easy to weigh obsessively.
Also, don't forget that you can't 'fix' yourself overnight. EDs are so, so complicated and it's totally one step at a time. You're doing so well! I remember reading in another post of yours that you chose 3FC over an ED forum. Such a wise choice, and it just shows that you really are wanting to try and get a better mindset.
I don't have a scale at home, so when I visit my dad's place every weekend, I weigh myself there. It helps me to not have a scale at home.
Do you visit someone regularly? Can you use their scale? Hope this helps.
Why is it important what you weigh? I know I'd like to be 130lbs but really it doesn't matter. I think the goal for all of us is really to be eating healthy, be fit, and feel good. So when you look at it that way whether or not you gained or lost weight is irrelevant. It's all about did you make healthy choices and give your body the nutrition and exercise it needs. I think the number on a scale is useful as a motivator but if its causing you so much stress its not working!
Any chance of a compromise? Get a new scale so you can weigh naked, first thing, but get your boyfriend to hide it and only bring it out for you once a week on your designated weigh-in day. Sounds like a great guy you've got there, so I bet he wouldn't mind if it helps you stress less the rest of the week.
The only scale I can think of that I can visit, as it were, would be my parents. I don't go there very much though, and they gave up on/got sick of all the weird weighing/ED stuff years ago, so I can just imagine if I said "look..could I come over once a week in the morning and weigh myself"..lol. I don't have a single gap in my schedule anyway :-( maybe when I can drive I'll do that.
We tried the boyfriend-hiding-the-scales thing before. I found them! We now live in a really small flat too. Unless we had a safe and padlock..
aargh. well what I said yesterday to him was that I would have no scales in the house for a month minimum, then we'll review the situation. I have to give this a fair shot at least..its just driving me crazy
Scales gone, very sad
)
