I had a cup of coffee every morning when I was actively losing weight. Still have one every day today, actually. Sometimes two on the weekends.

My thought was that I didn't want to live a life that required me to give up my coffee.

I did move to the fat free creamers and cut my sugar from 2 tsp to 1 tsp during the more restricted calorie phase, so my coffee came in at 40 cals instead of 75. I also started buying flavored coffees - I find I can use less creamer that way.
Yes, absolutely count it. If you make room for it in your calorie count then it is okay. It isn't a huge indulgence.
ETA: I can't use the sugar free sweeteners, because all of the ones I found are flavored with Splenda which makes me sick. If you can do the Splenda, the sugar free sweeteners are a good idea.