Question for those who have had significant weight loss up to present ...
I would like to know how many of those of you who finally found success in your weightloss, experienced failure the times before it started working ? If so, it would be nice if you shared just how many times you started, and found yourself mysteriously Off Diet. That would be so helpful to know for me who is floundering ; starting, stopping, and then starting again, now countless times in 5 or so years.
I realize this is probably what happens to the majority of those who 'get serious' about weightloss, because the resolve drifts away as predictably as it shows up. I think the key word is 'predictably'. I hate being caught up in a predicted behavior. I really do want to belive that one of these days , I will be jolted into a determination new and brilliant.
I truly believe it is all a mind set. If you do not have your mind completely and totally focused on losing the weight this time, then you will find reasons to be distracted. Also, exercise is a must, no ifs ands or buts about it. Exercise is THE KEY. Even when you dont want to, even when you dont feel like it, even when your life is turned upside down with chaos. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise. Do Not Be Distracted.
I agree about making weight loss a priority. I would say making yourself a priority is KEY. Nothing, and I do mean absolutely nothing comes before my sleep, nutrition and exercise. However, I did not begin exercising until I was down 20 pounds. So, I actually lost 20 pounds in three months by only changing my diet.
Hermit, it really is a journey. Some days are darker than others. Sometimes the road twists and turns. It will never become a destination for me. It is something I will deal with every single day for the rest of my life. Start with baby steps--trite but true. Find what steps you can take without too much sacrafice and then try to increase your steps. You can do this.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 01-10-2009 at 10:00 AM.
I dieted many times and was successful only to regain it. The problem is in the thought that you go ON and OFF a diet when you have reached goal. That is the problem ,it is not losing weight that is the problem, it is keeping it off. You must make a change in the way you eat, do not think of it as a diet. I had to learn how to maintain and was totally surprised to learn that you keep it off by doing the same things that you did to lose it.In the past I quit weighing myself and reverted to old eating habits, you can't do that if you want to keep it off. Now I still weigh myself, still count calories and still plan all my meals ahead of time and still keep a food diary.
This is my 3rd time since joining 3FC in 2004. The first time, I lost 25 pounds by running and counting calories. I got to the point where I could not eat fewer calories or run any further & I hit a plateau and gave up. Gained back 25 pounds.
The second time, the same thing happened.
The third time, the closer I got to the 25 lb mark, the more worried I got. My plan hadn't worked the first 2 times. Why did I think it would work this time? What if I had shot my metabolism? This time would be different.
I started lifting weights. I started with a trainer to learn how to lift weights. She gave me a nutrition plan. It was very different from my previous plan of cutting calories only. It was an exchange plan---protein 6 times a day, servings of complex carbs, veggies, fruits and fats planned out through the day with the protein.
I did not stall at that 25 lb point. I flew through it and lost 25 more pounds. My body fat percentage has dropped so much. My size 8 jeans are loose and falling off. I am strong and have defined muscles and I can even see some abdominal muscles. I eat plenty.
I had to find a different way to approach it this time and I'm glad I did.
I would like to know how many of those of you who finally found success in your weightloss, experienced failure the times before it started working ? If so, it would be nice if you shared just how many times you started, and found yourself mysteriously Off Diet. That would be so helpful to know for me who is floundering ; starting, stopping, and then starting again, now countless times in 5 or so years.
I realize this is probably what happens to the majority of those who 'get serious' about weightloss, because the resolve drifts away as predictably as it shows up. I think the key word is 'predictably'. I hate being caught up in a predicted behavior. I really do want to belive that one of these days , I will be jolted into a determination new and brilliant.
I think the key is "commitment". Weight loss just can not occur without it. Once you make that ironclad commitment, you just keep on going and going and going. No floundering, no starting, no stopping. Just DOING.
For me, I decided once and for all that I was going to lose the weight - NO MATTER WHAT. I realized that I didn't have to be fat if I didn't want to be. THAT was my light bulb moment. And once I decided to lose the weight - for good - that was it. I made a commitment. Once you make a commitment, there is no turning back. No opting out. You find a way to get done what needs to get done. And you go out and DO IT!!! No ifs, ands or buts.
As for how many times I tried in the past. Dozens and dozens. I was overweight from my preteens til my early 20's. Got married and allowed myself to become morbidly obese very shortly thereafter. . Stayed that way for over 20 years. I will tell you that with each and every one of those dozens and dozens of times, I never, ever gave it my all. NEVER. They were all half hearted attempts. Which is why I was unsuccessful. Until I made it a tippy top priority (having DECIDED to lose the weight NO MATTER WHAT), successful weight loss did not occur for me.
It also boiled down to just how badly did I really want to lose weight. Apparently I hadn't wanted it badly enough all those other times. Didn't want it badly enough and therefore wasn't willing to do "whatever it takes" - calorie restriction - day after day after day, resisting temptation - day after day after day and exercising most days of the week.
Being fat IS a CHOICE. Being healthy and fit are CHOICES as well. Those choices are available to everyone. Life is very short. Choose very carefully.
For many years I would "get serious" about fitness and weight loss, and the quotation marks are there because even though I thought I was serious, it turned out I was only serious until it became inconvenient or I got tired.
Specifically, if my work load got too heavy, I went off plan and didn't get back on for months. This was a common occurrence. If winter came and there was a lot of snow, I went off plan and didn't get back on for months. If someone had a birthday, if I went on vacation, if someone died, I went off plan... You get the picture. This must have happened, oh, ten times over the preceding 10 years.
When I got serious for real, I decided that the plan came before everything and everyone else. That meant I had to plan around a heavy workload, I had to know what foods to eat at a party, I had to look for the best food choices possible for my weight loss on vacation, AND I had to look for opportunities to get exercise. Exercise became something I did on schedule, whether it was convenient or not on any given day. If I couldn't get to the gym, then there had to be a backup for that.
In other words, losing weight became number one priority. Oddly enough, I found I could still meet my other obligations even though I had to exercise, eat right, and so on.
Some folks may say, "But I have children! I have a job! I have X Y and Z!" Making weight loss first priority doesn't mean you ignore your children, lose your job, or totally give up X Y or Z. A person has to try this on their own to see that it is true.
4? 20? Hard to say. I made several "serious" attempts as others have described, where it wasn't as big a commitment as it needed to be to stay permanent. I would be successful for a few months at most, trying to lose, but also not prioritizing it.
And I made LOTS of "non-serious" attempts that lasted a day or two. "I MUST lose weight." would toll in my head and I'd have a salad for dinner and the next day would be status quo...
It's VERY normal to have a number of failed attempts before it clicks. But even after that, it's normal to have setbacks and lapses!!
I made several serious attempts and the difference really is that at the end of the frustrating attempts (losing some weight, but not losing a lot, struggling to lose more), the only difference is I gave up at the end of each of those attempts. In frustration, I said "screw it" and went back to my old habits. The only difference is that even when I get frustrated, I don't give up, instead I work to maintain what I've lost and try to figure out new techniques to lose more.
NONE of my previous "attempts" at losing weight lasted longer than a day. Not one day. Most of them failed within a few hours. I made these "attempts" at least every couple of weeks beginning when I was 11.
I didn't realize before how much I didn't know about losing weight. I thought that if I could get through one healthy meal that it would click and I'd be eating healthfully forever. I thought that I could get myself to understand when to stop eating even though my body's signals would go ignored so often I didn't notice them anymore. I didn't want to restrict myself in any way, or change any habits that I found difficult. No wonder I never got serious or lost any weight.
My first inkling of change happened when I was about 16 years old. And it was slow. I made another attempt to lose weight, but I thought it over and decided that I'd start by just drinking water instead of most other beverages. It was kind of hard at first. That first two days water wasn't quite as satisfying as drinking soda and juices. But, once I got into it I drank almost nothing but water. It stuck, because I stuck with it.
I wish I could say that it was a miracle and I realized right then I just had to make one change at a time, but sadly it was not the end of my weight gain. Still, however, drinking water stuck with me. And, if nothing else, it was a wonderful habit that helped me this time around. I already love drinking water. It was one less small step to tackle, I had already climbed it.
This time, too, I decided, almost subconsciously to go slow. The first thing was that I made the decision that I was going to continue no matter what. No matter what. Up or down. Sideways or slantways. Backways or forways. Even if I was running in circles, I'd go to my weekly WW meetings. No judgment, just going. This was a big weight off of my back. If I felt that I had to be "good" in order to go and try to be a little healthier each week then it wouldn't have lasted very long at all.
The second thing I did was to take it slow. I didn't fully even count points my first week. I looked up the points of what I was eating at each meal... getting used to the idea. Didn't even write it down for 3 days. I began writing it down before my first week was out, but I was doing what I was comfortable with in the beginning.
Exercising didn't cross my mind until the 3rd or 4th week. And even then I only walked 10 minutes at first. There I was: Drinking water daily, eating about 40 points a day, and walking 10 minutes every few days.
Don't even get me started about how long it took me to find a treadmill... or to think about things like how much protein or fat or fiber I should be getting.
Slow steps. And I'm not done! I've 'slow stepped' my way down 100 lbs. And not that I recommend this, but I'm only just beginning to think about strength training. This is the way it has to be for me. I have to continue to tackle these issues one at a time at the slow pace I'm used to. I've built some great habits, but they had to be built.
I'm right there with everyone who has said it's a "mind set" thing. I lost a good amount of weight about 3 years ago..I was so happy..and then i just..stopped doing what I was doing! Can't explain why, but I did. I started eating again, and ten fold at that.. I gained it all back at tenfold. I gained and ballooned up SO much more, which is when I finally decided that enough was enough!
The difference was this time I incorporated fitness into my plan, where I hadn't done that before. I think that in weight loss, eating right and working out go hand in hand, and you can't do one without the other. It's still a daily struggle, but I LOVE working out and then it just makes my choices a little more enjoyable.
I firmly believe I'm on the right track this time for good.
You know, Faerie, I love both your journey and how you described it. This weight management thing is not all or nothing. We don't have to have all the answers out of the gate. How many of us have tried and learned and tried something else and added and subtracted and tweaked and improved? And it will continue, forever really. Cause as we get older and our lives meander along and change, we will change with it.
For me, it's learning how to live with my body. Feeding it well. Moving it to get strong and stay strong, health for function and for fun. A slice of pizza or a piece of cake can't derail that, cause it is a forever view for me.
Bargoo summed up my thoughts nicely.
I have "dieted" hundreds of times. I have successfully lost weight and maintained that loss for a year or two 3 times in the past (a loss of 50 or more lbs. each time). Each time I followed a "diet". And each time I went off the "diet" when I reached goal. I did fine for a while, then my life changed, and my routine changed with it. As life events gained in priority, eating and fitness became less important. A lb. here, a lb. there - slowly they all came back - with a few more besides.
The wonderful maintainers here helped me realize that what I had to do this time was change my lifestyle - no going back to old ways - forever. That was my true "aha" moment. Once I realized that - the journey became much easier. No pressure - no time goals - just take it one day at a time. When you have the rest of your life to be "on plan" the little variances don't really count as "screw ups" or freak me out any more.
As is often quoted around here - "progress, not perfection is the goal". Those are wise words, indeed.
I still step on the scale EVERY DAY. I still work out regularly. I still eat healthy foods and keep track of my calories. Just like flossing my teeth, I know these are habits that will continue as long as I live.
And - they are very, very worth the time, and energy, and focus and commitment. My health is worth it, quality time with my family is worth it, and I am worth it!
Question for those who have had significant weight loss up to present ...
