[katiejames]

Friday, December 26, 2008


the truth

the truth is i hate who i am when i look in the mirror.
the truth is that i have never been this big.. even 9 months pregnant.
the truth is i want to lose all the weight i put on.
the truth is i cry because my clothes dont fit.
the truth is i have tried to lose weight.
the truth is i hate myself when i eat.. but then i eat more.
the truth is i have a gym membership
the sad truth is that i am scared to go.
the truth is i am a size 18
and my pants are still too tight
the truth is a year ago i was a size 11.
the truth is the doctors dont know what is going on
the truth is i dont think anyone understands.
the truth is i dont want to be this size anymore.
the truth is.. those damn diet pills dont work.
the truth is i feel so ugly all the time, that i have no sex drive.
the truth is i have a terrible double chin...
the truth is i dont know how to make it stop
the truth is i dont feel i over eat.
the truth is i want to hide in the house all the time
the truth is that i look 9 months pregnant
the truth is i am not pregnant
the truth is my kids tell me i am fat.
the truth is that i dont yell at them for telling me the truth.
the truth is i need a support system
the truth is i need help to lose this weight.
the truth is i love nick with all my heart.
the truth is i hate who i am.
the truth is i want to be able to have sex like before
the truth is i dont feel beautiful anymore
the truth is that the second i say the word diet i feel hungry
the truth is i know slimfast wont work.
the truth is that i am afraid i will keep getting bigger.
the truth is i didnt choose to blow up like this
the truth is that i want to lose 100lbs.
the truth is i dont know how.
the truth is that i love food.
the truth is it hates me
the truth is that i feel more lazy and tired.
the truth is i want to love me again.......


hi.. my name is katie. i just dont know what to say other than the poem. i posted this poem on my myspace blog. yesterday i began a 1300-1500 calorie a day diet. i hate the word diet because i instantly feel hungry! lol anyway i made my meal plan for seven days and even went to far as to precount my calories and i prepack the next days food so that i dont overeat. i am 27, engaged, with 4 gorgeous children. i am devasted by the weight gain.. honestly i dont care what i weigh.. but knowing that i could fit in a size 11 jeans a year ago and i now have to wear size 18 ( which are tight already) is too much. my weight has always fluctuated since i was a teenager but this last year i have had many health problem that contributed to my weight gain. please dont hesitate to ask me questions or give advice or even some motivation. its dinner time at my home and my family is eating thier "fatty" dinner... so i am holing up in the basement til they are done... ( hey its hard to have will power!) lol if anyone is interested in see my meal plan let me know and i can send the attachment.. i am excited. i have done this diet before after the births of my younger two children and i must say it works. its not the starving thing.. cause i eat all day.. and i even eat before bed... but to me it is changing the whole way i eat and see food. ok time for me to shut up! lol

[Lori259]

Hello & WELCOME
The truth is That Calorie counting seems the way for you to go.
TRUTH IS IT WORKS.
I have lost 25 lbs Since November 11th 2008.
(I am curently at 1400 calories a day.)
I Started walking indoors several times a day for 20 minutes at a time .
THIS HELPS.
GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!
Oh, THE TRUTH IS YOU SHOULD START FEELING HAPPIER WITH EVERY POUND LOST!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST TRUTH IS I am proud of you that you have started your weight loss journey!!!!!!!

[katiejames]

thank you soo much! this is the biggest i have EVER been even 9 months pregnant! i do have a gym membership and i try to make time to go. we also have a fancy eliptical here at home but idk... i just hate using it cause the kids are running around. its cold so i cant go for walks either ( stupid wisconsin weather!)

[mandalinn82]

We don't talk much about "diets" here. A "diet" is something you can go off, then back on again. I'm much fonder of lifestyle changes...small changes you make that add up and result in an entirely new, healthier way of living. The attitude shift was REALLY helpful for me.

Look around here - we have many forums to investigate...the 20-somethings, the 100 lb club (for those on their way to losing or who have lost 100 lbs), and all kinds of forums by eating plan. We also have challenges and many, many support groups. So look around, find a spot, and settle in.

Can't wait to get to know you better!

[Lori259]

Do not worry about Gyms or exercise equipment if you are not ready.
I walk from My kitchen to my dining room 20 minutes and 10 minutes at a time Usually equalls 1 hr to 90 minutes a day.
Anything we do helps. I have asthma so I can not go out in the cold here in Ohio Or in the steamy hot weather either. So Just start small~And When you get ready for the gym go for it....And if you never do~ Do not feel depressed~Any form of exercise is better than none at all.
And if you are like me ( a stay home mom) It's hard and expensive to get a sitter) I have 3 kids and they walk with me inside sometimes LOL.Of course they have more fun than me.

[katiejames]

i try to avoid the word diet also.. it makes me want to eat pizza. it is difficult for me to even find time to walk around the house these days. i work part time in the morning at my money maker ( cnc machinest job) and then i have to go to our local homeless shelter where i do an internship up to 8 more hours a day. from there i come home and i am just soo beat that going to the gym or even walking around is to exhausting. i know i am making excuses and i should just make time....

[Justwant2Bhealthy]

KATIE ~ I think we all can relate to your poem KATIE; I think we have all had similar thoughts and feelings. Glad you decided to join us, and there are lots of great people and groups here where you can receive lots of support too. And yes, you can share your plans and ideas with all of us as well; this is a sharing kind of place!

EDIT: PS ~ what do you do during your lunch break; maybe you could go for a short walk then. And can you walk or ride to one of these places or park a little further away, then walk the rest of the way to and from your car? Just a thought ...

[willow650]

same here. Diets do not work me. I have learned to go the slow route, small changes to my eating as I go. looking at what I am going to cook and ask "how can I make this healthier?" adding fruit and fiber as snacks through out the day. I don't freak out if i make an occasional unhealthy choice. I plan to enjoy myself and not make food the most important thing in my life I wont stress at gatherings or dinners out over whether or not i have healthy options. I had a gym membership but had to cancel it so I find things here at home to do. You have to lose it the way you plan to keep it off. Make small daily, weekly, monthly changes that can last life time.

[chunckymonkey]

Welcome Katie! I don't know if your the author of "The Truth" but it says all that I felt when I started. I went two weeks into my life change before I added exercise to my diet. I, too, was afraid that people at the gym would make fun of me - I could not have been more wrong. I have been told that I'm inspirational, I help others to work out harder simply by seeing what I'm doing - I even get salutes of "that a girl" from the "jocks". Me, the 5 ft 4", 46 year old - red faced and sweaty ...am several times called a Hero - for when a few others my size wanted to stop...they didn't for they know they weren't alone...actually, often times they were the ones inspiring me!

Your not alone Katie - and ( I feel I speak for all) We are All Very Glad Your Here!

[azmom62]

Hey! I can relate to your poem!
My name is Vicki and I am new here too!
I am glad that we found a place we can go and get the support we need. I am really fired up now to get the pounds off that I have put on in the last few years. I have seen some of the post here of people that have lost 100 pounds and more. I think it is great!
I don't like the word diet anymore as it is something you go off of. I am trying to change my way of eating by cutting out the high fructose corn syrup and all the white flour and sugars.

I know that we can do this!!!!

[Lori Bell]

I'm a weird one here. I use the word diet...you know the old saying, "A rose is still a rose by any other name" Well, I feel the same about my diet. Whether I call it a diet, a journey, a way of life...whatever, it is hard, and it takes work, dedication and perseverance. Basically, when you can't eat what you want, when you want it, it sucks regardless of what you call it. LOL. The trick is learning that there are other things in life that can make you as happy as food once did.

You can do this. And contrary to popular belief, you *can* lose weight without massive amounts of exercise. Exercise is important, it will eventually feel good, and it makes a lot of people very happy. But you don't have to change everything at once. Get your food situation under control, then worry about your exercise program in a month or so.

[lalique]

Welcome to 3FC!

[katiejames]

i did write that poem myself...

[RN BSN 2009]

Welcome to the site!

[chunckymonkey]

Your words are moving...I hope you will write another in a month's time...