When you fall off the wagon, so to speak, how do you stay encouraged when you just feel frustrated? What do you tell yourself to keep going? Do you have any particular sayings or quotes that you remind yourself of? What works for you. It's so hard to not let one mistake derail your whole plan.
"Oh, well". Seriously. That's what I say. But I'm particularly fond of what Kaplods says - if you trip on the top step, do you throw yourself down the rest, or do you stand up, get your balance, and keep going in an orderly manner?
1. Forgive myself
2. Don't forgive myself - what is that going to accomplish?
An offplan meal is NOT an excuse for me to turn it into an offplan day or weekend, but it's not a disaster either.
After dieting and trying to be perfect for 20 years, I realized that life is messy and complicated. Offplan food DOES and WILL happen. It happens to me and the most successful maintainers on this forum (seriously, read the Maintainer's Forum, it's a lot of "oops, mainlined a piece of cheesecake, gotta get back on track.")
I used to HATE myself if I didn't eat perfectly, I felt like a loser, a weak, no will powered loser. That self hate wasn't productive or healthy and it sure didn't make me more successful at weight loss.
Now, I do THINK about what I did - maybe a coping mechanism to try something different next time but I move past it. I have so many healthy habits in place that I can usually fall right back into healthy eating the next meal opportunity (business trips are the hardest for me, the temptations just don't stop).
After maintaining for nearly 4 years, I can honestly say that single blips did not make me fat. One big meal, one big dessert, one plate of cheese and crackers at work DID NOT MAKE ME FAT. I was heavy because I ate poorly most of the time. Now I eat well most of the time and I am thin.
It took me a while to get here, but I don't "forgive" myself, because I don't feel that there's anything to forgive. I life my life. Sometimes my life includes food that's bad for me. That doesn't mean I have an excuse to lose control or eat like a pig. It just means I make decisions.
I accept that I CHOOSE to eat everything that goes in my mouth. And in so choosing, I don't have to feel guilt about it. Cause guilt doesn't really help anyone.
I dunno. It really is a hard concept to wrap your mind around, but when you get there, it makes this soooo much easier.
I've been trying the whole "tomorrow is another day" mantra. Just wondering what works for others.
Not bad, if that works for you, you should definitely go for it. Personally, tomorrow is a LONG time away, I'd prefer to get back on track right away! I could do a lot of damage in a full day
For me, it's usually "Well, crap, that was a poor choice." And then usually something like a shrug and an "Oh well" and I move on to my next choice.
That's it. Acknowledge, accept, move on. Going to be like this the rest of our lives, can't go making myself absolutely miserable every single time I don't choose the best thing for me.
I used to think any slip was reason to binge because "I blew it anyway," might as well start fresh tomorrow (or if it was a friday or saturday, start fresh on monday).
As PhotoChick said, I don't feel guilty, because there's nothing to feel guilty about. I got fat by poor choices, but feeling guilty has never helped me succeed in the slightest.
By any standards that I used to use, I am not succeeding. The weight is coming off too slowly, I'm not exercising enough, and I make too many mistakes. The "old" me, would have gotten angry with myself, and so frustrated with the "failure," that I would have given up long ago, deciding that I just wasn't strong enough or "good enough" to succeed.
I don't think that way anymore, because it never helped me reach my goals. It took a long time to retrain my mind, but I did it by choosing to remind myself, every time I started to feel food guilt that I am committed to taking the guilt out of eating.
There have been times in my life, during which I had very disordered eating. Eating was bad, and not eating was good. Or, at the very least, I had a list of "good" foods and a list of "bad" foods, and I was good if I ate only the good foods, and bad if I ate even a bite of the bad foods. It got to the point at times, that I'm not sure if I could have felt any greater guilt for killing a person than I was feeling for eating "bad."
The stair analogy has been a good one for me (which is why I use it so often here), because I finally realized that I have a much easier time with change, when I'm not making myself miserable for not changing fast or well enough to suit my own unreasonable expectations.
Oh yes, I can relate. I have struggled with the "all or nothing" thinking. It's hard to go a little "off plan" without REALLY going off plan whole hog. (pun intended)
I remind myself -- this is a marathon not a sprint. What matters is not this moment, but what happens over the long term. I want to be at a healthy weight one year - 5 years - 25 years from now, so what is most important is to get back on plan right now, this moment, and forge ahead.
The other thing I try to do is make every food choice just that ... my choice. I chose consciously to have that Reese's peanut butter cup. Yes, I know it is 230 calories and has an ungodly amount of fat. Yes, I know that puts me 200 calories over my limit for the day. I choose to accept that decision and the consequences of that decision -- it will either slow my weight loss down for the week, or I will have to deduct that 200 calories elsewhere (or burn them off in exercise). It's not a failure --- it's a choice. At that moment in time, I thought it was worth it! I enjoyed it, and now it's time to move on.
I don't even call it a "bad" choice any more, that implies that I sinned and now must repent. I don't think food is good or bad, there are just healthier and less healthy choices, on plan and off plan choices. If I give food THAT much power over me, then I feel out of control. I'm striving to be the one in control, and not the cookie.
The other thing I've learned about myself is that there are foods that trigger binge-tendencies. I believe there is a real physical reaction involved, probably blood-sugar related. I know that if I have simple sugars/carbs without some kind of protein or fiber to balance it, then I will experience an almost uncontrollable urge to dive face first into every bagel and bowl of ice cream that I see. That's not a failure, that's a physical reaction, and the only way to prevent it is to avoid the triggers in the first place. And if you happen to fall into the trap, you just learn from it, and move on.
I agree with the others. I've changed the way I eat and the way I look at food. I had a Twinkie last night. Do I need to forgive myself?
Nope---it was a Twinkie, not manslaughter for crying out loud.
I do NOT need to be perfect to maintain my weightloss. I've lost the perfectionistic attitude. What I do most of the time counts more than the occasional "misstep". So I get right back to making healthy food choices and working my exercise plan.
When you fall off the wagon, so to speak, how do you stay encouraged when you just feel frustrated? What do you tell yourself to keep going? Do you have any particular sayings or quotes that you remind yourself of? What works for you. It's so hard to not let one mistake derail your whole plan.
I just have the mindset that I am worth it!
and everyone is worth good health. You just say ok, I did this, so now I'm gonna do extra work to make up for it
Just last night I thought I blew it. I was disappointed in myself, but I knew today would be a better day and rolled over and went to sleep.
I looked at my food log this morning and realized I didn't eat the things that I wrote down. Which meant that bowl of chili I ate last night, did not put me over points for the day. I am so glad I didn't beat myself up last night. It just encourages me more.
When you fall off the wagon, so to speak, how do you stay encouraged when you just feel frustrated? What do you tell yourself to keep going? Do you have any particular sayings or quotes that you remind yourself of? What works for you. It's so hard to not let one mistake derail your whole plan.
I do like the quote about the stairs.
I don't stay encouraged. Lots of times, I just have to start again.
I'm heavily into the grand scheme of things. Like ... thinking Christmas is never coming and suddenly I've had 40 some Christmases ... like thinking I'd never be able to go to the bathroom without taking a little one with me. Now my littlest one is 22.
If I had stayed encouraged, I'd've been 125 lbs for over 4 years now. But I am slimmer than I was then. And I've learned sooo much.
You'll never forget what you learned losing the weight you already have. Nothing can take 3FC, or all you've gained here away from you. In 20 years you'll be the sum total of everything you've seen, heard, done ... and if most of the time that's healthier ... you'll be slimmer.
One dinner does not a body ruin ... in the grand scheme of things.
i concur with the "oh, well." i've lost 25 pounds so far and it's taken me over a year! so, lots of "oh wells" and taking the stairs one at a time even if i stumble. never am i hard on myself or do i beat myself up. as long as i have a sense of self-awareness i'm fine, so i try not to lose that. also, i refer to the goal photo album and mini-goals quite a bit if i ever "fall of the wagon" or whatever you want to call it.
How do you forgive yourself?
