hey guys I am just starting on my weight loss journey and at the minute feel like the most unattractive girl in the world. I was wondering if any of you have suffered from similar feelings? Did you begin to feel better as you lost weight? I want to try and make my life positive in as many aspects as I can and I am trying to convince myself that I can be attractive...its not easy sometimes though!

Losing weight helps us to feel better about ourselves; we're human. But what I have really found is that all the attention to my health and treating myself right has done far more to make me happier and feel good about myself.

I remember at the start of my weight-loss feeling hopeless and very unattractive. I remember avoiding friends and families, parties. After I started doing something about it, dieting and exercising again, it was like a cloud had been lifted -- cliche, I know. I can't even tell you how much better I felt just knowing that I was doing something about the way I felt and looked. I think exercise is key to feeling better. All I did for about two months was take a brisk walk every day for about an hour. I never missed it, though. I lost 20 pounds those first two months, and it was such a shock to me that I could actually do it. You just need to pick your head up and know that you don't have to feel that way anymore.

The reason I started my journey is because I to felt fat, ugly, and worthless. I had a breakdown in my friends car one night, Just started bawling my eyes out. I said I can't live like this anymore, and from that day on I've been good to myself, and I'm actually starting to LOVE myself. I'm so thankful I had that mini breakdown, or else I'm sure I'd still be where I was, unhappy and very unhealthy.

missnewstart, my approach was a little different in that even at my highest weight I always did the things I loved that made me feel good about myself. For example, I climbed the Great Wall of China and went surfing all at 260lbs because those were things I love to do. On my weight loss journey I discovered that all of the negative feelings I had about myself and my life were magnified and clarified once I got to a smaller size, which helped me realize my issues were not about my weight, they went much deeper than that. But I will say when you begin to remove weight as the barrier in your life, you're able to deal with and confront what's really eating you.
Good Luck!

I know exactly how you are feeling. Those feelings normally totally consume my life. Even when my hubby tells me he loves me for who I am, no matter how I look, or how much I weigh... I still find myself thinking that he is lying. How could anyone love someone as big as me? The truth is...he does love me. And that gives me motivation to change my life. Mostly for myself, but also for him. Because he has stood by me for years. He loved me skinny, he loves me fat. We both deserve to be happy. But, I deserve this success only for myself. Because I am the only one who can take me where I want to go. Every healthy choice I make is mine and no one else's.

SO YOU GO GIRL! I am sure I speak for everyone here when I say that there is no place better to be than right here for support. Go get'em!

I know exactly how you feel. When I ballooned up to 212(I am short, 5'3" and smalled boned) I felt the most disgusting ever. I definitely feel better knowing that I have lost weight and am taking care of my body now, but I still avoid going out with friends and especially going to meet new people. Although I think regardless of my weight I need to work on my self esteem. I'm actually going to books a million tonight to look for a good book on building self esteem. I have always struggled with my confience but it really hit an all time low the larger I got.

It's odd, I know I'm a great person and have so much to offer, however at the same time when guys hit on me I wonder what the **** are they thinking. *sigh* It's frustrating, I know. I'm hoping a self help book will guide me in the right direction. I want to be able to walk into a club/social gathering/whatever it may be, and feel 100% confident in myself.

Good luck!

missnewstart,
I used to think that I didn't have a esteem issue. I dress really well (because I love shopping) hang out and I am usually the center if attention. I realized I had esteem issues when I noticed how I always compared myself to other women. I was insanely jealous if my BF even glanced at a chick and I would immedeiately compare myself. If I mention to someone I know that I have a confidence issue or a complex with myself they laugh it off like I am joking. It is so hard for them to believe because I put up such a good front. I realized that I must be happy in the skin I am in and then I can improve myself. I started gaining weight like crazy (which is how I got here) by feeling sorry for myself. I ate cause I gained weight I gained weight cause I ate. Once I started TRULY taking care of myself I immediately saw an improvment in my feeling and life ingeneral. FOr me, now it is not so much about being small or a size 8 as it is me trying to be healthy and in control.

PS. Don't get me wrong I want to be a size 8 sooooooo bad!!!

Nevaeh you are awfully pretty....you tripping girl...LOL No but I totally know how you feel....I have so been there and still go there sometimes.

What is really strange, is I can see attractiveness in the mirror when I look at myself, but I don't think others can see it at all.

I have a huge head. I don't think I would have ever had a problem with self esteem if it weren't for other people telling me I was too fat. Or not cute enough. One guy in my first year of college told me "you know, you have a pretty face, if you'd only lose like 30 lbs."

I was sorta shocked. I thought I was normal, if not better than normal. haha

I consider myself ugly... and not just because I am heavy, but because of my face, hair, complexion, everything. Losing weight over the last few years has certainly HELPED... I used to be really depressed and I'd feel hopelessly ugly and terrible all the time ... and now I feel that way about half the time. 50% improvement is pretty great. Also, in a more literal sense, the thinner my face looks, the prettier it looks, so my looks have literally improved even though I still consider myself homely.

But the thing is, I consider myself ugly but I don't think I'm less of a person or less worthy of respect, consideration, etc. because of it. That might sound really weird, but I feel like not everyone could be a beauty queen -- some of us have to be ugly ducklings, and I'm one of them.

That's also not to say that I can't be attractive. Attractiveness goes far beyond physical beauty, to personality, behavior, manner, etc. and I have succeeded in getting engaged and falling in love despite being ugly where my much prettier friends have not, so there's more to being attractive and desireable than just looks.

But to the OP -- I suspect you aren't ugly AT ALL and just feel this way because you really want to lose weight. Once the pounds start coming off, I'm sure you will feel better about yourself. I, for one, still think I'm ugly, but the mere accomplishment of losing a lot of weight and keeping it off for years has boosted my confidence and my pride in myself.

Oh gosh yes. At my highest weight, I wouldn't come out of the shower without a robe because if I caught sight of my huge blob of a body in the mirror it ruined my whole day. I didn't even want my dogs to see me naked much less my poor DH. I was just sure that everyone who looked at me was thinking what a hideous, disgusting creature I was.

I agree with mamaspank, the exercising was a huge catalyst in my "mental transformation". Even before any weight loss was noticable, I was already carrying myself with more confidence just because I felt so much stronger and more positive. I still have a bit to go, and I'll never qualify as a raving beauty, but you know what? I've noticed that people (ok, men ) are doing that little sideways thing they do when they are trying to check you out without being obvious (pretty sure they'd be embarassed if anyone caught them checking out the old broad ) - instead of taking one glance and looking away real fast like they used to - and I truly think it has more to do with my new head high strut than it does my face or my figure (and no, I don't have huge boobs so it's not that either ).

It will get better - stick with it and give it a little time and you'll see

I can definately relate. I felt huge, horrible, useless, ugly. For me exercise has really helped. I keep a notebook with me at the gym to write down my progress, and i can look through it and say "look! I did that. Me"