What on earth makes people think it's ok to say something like this to someone? I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, and I'm tired. I'm sure I don't look my best, but I didn't think I looked THAT bad. A coworker walking by me earlier said "Wow, you look AWFUL!" and just kept on walking.
My friend brought over her boyfriend a few weeks ago and I apologized for being a bit scatter brained, I was tired. So her boyfriend replied with 'Yeah, you do look sh*t'
I was horrified! People can be so rude but I wouldn't worry about it though, I bet you look lovely! We're all entitled to not look our best 24/7 - nobody does.
I've been told the same thing when I've been sick, and I don't take it personally. I know it's just other people's way of acknowledging how bad I must be feeling, since it's obviously reflected in my face and demeanor.
It's really just a rough form of sympathy, IMO. I've always worked mostly around men who have a hard time expressing sympathy or concern in anything other than gruff terms like that, so it was something I came to relaize a long time ago.
Man Talk:
"You look like sh*t"
Translated to Woman Talk:
"You poor thing -- You look like you're really not feeling well. I sympathize with you. I really hope you feel better."
Oops! I am one who doesn't think it rude...I too have said it to people...guess I will think before I open my mouth next time, maybe, lol. I don't really mean anything mean by it.
I've said this so many times to people, and people have said it so many times to me. I never took offense, and never had anyone act as though it was an insult or an odd thing to say. I wonder if it's a regional thing, as I was raised with it being something you said with kindness or sympathy, and it meant something like "you don't look like you're feeling well, are you sure you want to be here?" rather than as an attack or criticism.
Umm...here is something that might make you feel a little better about getting told you look awful (which I do think most people mean to be like a pat on the back and a hug and trying to show sympathy for how they think you must be feeling).
My aunt ran into an older woman she knew but hadn't seen for a while. The lady said "you are looking great, so young!". My aunt was thrilled, but then it was ruined when the woman kept talking. She said "yeah, all that weight you've gained has really filled in those wrinkles". I guess she meant it as a compliment...but it didn't work.
Years ago (in high school), I was boarding a plane when a friend was disembarking. She had been flying all night from Hawaii and looked, well, like she had been on a plane all night. I told her... she looked awful, or just really tired. She forgave me, but teases me about it to this day. I learned a good lesson that day. Never again.
Every time I'm home from University the first thing my mum says is "Oh my God, you look ill. Are you OK? Are you eating enough? You look sickly and are getting too thin..." and I'm stood there like "wow mum, nice to see you too!"
It happens every time! I think it's usually because I'm pooped after traveling home.
People generally don't mean it in a nasty way, although I agree it does come off as kind of a thoughtless comment. Don't worry about it chick! I'm sure they didn't mean that you look awful. I find that people generally don't think before they speak...
Last edited by Jadeybaby; 08-27-2008 at 07:19 PM.
Reason: typo
"You look awful."
