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We both have things to change and if we can't work on them and start changing then we'll have to part ways... heartache or not... it's got to be done.
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When I hear someone say that, you know there are big problems with this relationship; and when you find yourself saying, 'he this or she that' regarding so many issues, that's a sign that 'YOU MAY NOT BE COMPATIBLE'.
At the beginning of all relationships, we overlook little things that the other person does that irk us because you're in love; but later on, they can drive you crazy. What you really have to decide is 'WHAT CAN YOU LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?'
Your partnership is suffering with major issues that can destroy it: one is joblessness, which leads to financial problems, and is often a deal breaker for most people. Sexual issues affect how you feel about each other and often this isn't just a physical problem. If you don't feel loved or accepted by your BF or his family, that can affect every part of your relationship. And, if your partner is disappointing you all the time, it is hard to respect him and find him attractive.
Because you have been together so long and are living like a married couple, you are experiencing the same problems that many married couples go through. Sometimes, they are called 'DRY SPELLS' where the relationship needs some reassessment and work. If one or both partners can't or won't work with the other partner, the relationship is doomed, unless one of you chooses to give in and be a doormat!
You are fortunate that you aren't married and can see what problems you are having now. Most people want to be married to someone that loves, respects, and adores them.
ALL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE PROBLEMS. Some people fool themselves about this fact; actually, most people argue about the same issues: money, sex and affection, communications, family, children, religion, friends, holidays, work, and education ...
You need to ask yourselves these questions: What issues are a must do? Where can you both compromise? Are your problems solvable? Can you find some solutions that work for both of you? If not, the relationship won't work and one or both of you will be very miserable. They say pain is inevitable, but misery is optional; because it's our choice.
I hope this helps you a little bit, so that you won't be so hard on yourself about what is going on. Try to talk about your issues as calmly as is possible, and if it gets too heated or hurtful, stop until you can. You may be able to work things out; but if you can't, at least you've learned a very valuable lesson for the future.
Hugs
to you; I'm sure you can use some right now.
ROSEBUD
heartache and confusion
So I had a HUGE fight with my BF of 8 years today, which started lastnight. He told me lastnight that I am terrible girlfriend and he would NEVER marry me. So I said if I'm such a bad girlfriend why is he still with me. Why dont you break up with me? He said fine and great now we're broken up because you can't just put out. (we fight over sex ALL THE TIME b/c I have no libido and NO desire for sex at all)
. I didn't stretch before because I'm not the smartest person when I'm so p.o'd... 
