Do you or have any of you every felt jealous of your friends weight loss success? I try to stay positive and when my friends tell me of a new diet they are trying. I congratulate them and tell them I am so proud of them. When deep down inside I really don’t feel that way! How sad is that. Why would I not want them to succeed? Is it b/c I have never succeeded my self. Shouldn’t having friends to diet w/ help me? The bad thing is, is that sometimes I think my friends are just as jealous as I am.
for me i think its moreso my competitive nature.. and so competition.. rather than jealousy.. when i have those feelings.. b/c then its something we kind of have to stick to.. like as if there is no reason not to keep up with our weight loss as our friends also lose weight. i guess its just another set of expectations... and who ever wants expectations..?! i see it as a good thing tho as long as the competition is healthy and doesnt thwart your efforts.
I have a friend that was skinny size 3 for the first 5 years of our friendship and then I lost my weight (14 to a 7) and she gained about 50lbs. I hate to say it, but it felt great. She even told me that never understood why i would get so upset when she would make comments about fat people until she became one. Now we are both chubby again and I wish her the best, but truly, I want to be the one to lose weight first. It's bad to say that, but its honest.
I see where you are coming from and I can understand it. My problem is more my friends are mostly average size or skinny but complain they are fat and all I can think is "what does that make me?" I have one friend in particular who is always on about her weight, even though she is not even close to being overweight. Sometimes I secretly wish she would get fat, just so she could see what it's really like. Also I take delight in the fact that a bunch of skinny girls I went to high school with put on a bunch of weight. I know it's mean-spirited, but sometimes I can't help it.
I wouldn't worry about it too much GaPeach. It's probably just a little competative streak you've got there. Use it as motivation to keep yourself on track. Just be kind about it. I imagine your friends feel the same way, they just don't admit it.
My problem is more my friends are mostly average size or skinny but complain they are fat and all I can think is "what does that make me?"
I work out with my sister and we have the same problem. She's the 'skinny' one who needs to lose maybe ten pounds and firm up from her newlywed weight, and it's taken me awhile to get used to the fact that her unhappiness with her body isn't any less valid than mine just because she's where I'd love to be. She's pretty kind about my size, so I try not to hold it against her. Sometimes I still want to kick her, though.
Anyway, as to the original question, yes and YES! I feel this way a lot, because it's taking me forever to lose weight. My friends tell me how 'inspiring' I am and then they drop 20 pounds like it's nothing. Meanwhile I'm stuck being 'inspiring' on a month-long plateau. I try to be happy for them, but at the same time it's pretty hard to take some days. You're definitely not alone in that.
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Originally Posted by ohmanda
My problem is more my friends are mostly average size or skinny but complain they are fat and all I can think is "what does that make me?"
This is where I have the biggest trouble as well. The other girls in my office are average..maybe at the most 30 lbs over weight. They are always talking about how their clothes dont fit, or how fat they are, or how its hard for them to breathe. I just sit there like..huh??Hello people I am 340 lbs over here!
I always get told well we dont see that,we dont see you as over weight cause you have a good attitude...dont matter!! I have told them several times I know loosing 5 lbs 20lbs or even 150 is still loosing. I know it is hard no matter what the number is. But when you are 340 lbs and you hear other talking about loosing 5 lbs or 20 makes ya a little mad. maybe even more mad at yourself then others.
I have a few times made a comment like well if your fat goodness I must be a friggin whale! Then I always feel guilty cause I make them feel bad. Oh what a vicious cycle.
A co-worker of mine had gastric bypass and lost about 170 lbs in the same amount of time it took me to lose 70. Although I would never have chosen surgery for myself, and I know she truely needed it, and I know it isn't an easy thing to go thru and she will struggle with her eating for the rest of her life, I envy her...
In less than a year she has lost all the weight and here I am, three full years later, struggling to relose the 15 lbs I regained last year and trying to lose the rest, without any success. That's hard not to be jealous of.
Yes my sister was always skinny....and I was always fat.....our nicknames from our dad was in spanish flaca and gortha (skinny girl and fat girl) LOL it truely wasn't in a mean way....guess you just have to understand a mexican family LOL
She would eat & eat & eat to GAIN weight....because she felt TOO skinny! I secretly wanted her to get fat! LOL when she had her second child she gained alot of weight and has retained quite a bit of it......she is the heaviest she has ever been which would be my goal weight now.....LOL
my issue would be girls talking about needing to lose weight because they are fat.....and they weigh less than my leg! LOL
I often wonder why I feel the same way too. I have tried so many times and so many different programs and nothing has worked long-term. Why does it work for others and not for me???? I am still searching for the one that clicks. The older I get the more frustrating it is. One day at a time, right?
MamaBplus3, you are doing great!! I don't know what plan you are on right now, but I have found that if I hit a plateau, if I change up the diet, the weight starts coming off again. I usually "do" extreme low carb M-W or Thurs. and then on Fri, Sat and Sun, I do low fat/ cal counting. This has kept me from plateauing better than anything else I've tried...also mixing up your work out routine helps as well.
I've been envious of other's weight losses, but mainly I feel inspired because they were "failures" once, too, and now they are successful. They are no better, stronger, or have more will power and determination than I do, so I KNOW I can win this battle as well!
BTW, mamaB--how did you get the cursive siggy? The choices I was given are awful--something a tweeny would like.
You should also keep in mind that going at a slower pace gives you a better shot at not gaining it all back. Wait and see in another year if they haven't put back everything plus a few while you are still getting healthier
Jealous Anyone????
