Hey there Penquin
Fabulous that you want to get it together! My first piece of advice? Stop dieting.
"Diets" are those quick fixes, those unsustainable programs that we follow for a little while... maybe even drop a few pounds, but then suddenly, we drop the program, we get tired of it, we go back to old ways and ta da! we're right back where we started.
How about this time make a commitment to changing one small thing & sticking with it? One thing at a time. Small goals, like you said. Small, permanent changes.
"Permanent" doesn't mean no mistakes... or no slip-ups, but rather that we're changing our 'normal'. My old normal was eating without thinking whenever & whatever, often when I wasn't actually hungry. My new normal is paying attention to what goes into my mouth, eating better (healthier & frankly, tastier) foods, and exercising every day.
It's a difficult thing to erase old habits & draw new ones. That's what I love about 3FC. Everyone here is trying to do the same. They have the same struggles & questions. And everyone is interested in others' successes! We really want eachother to make it, to change and lose weight!
Have a look around, post where you're comfortable.

You can do this!
Best of success!