I don't think doctors (or pharmaceutical companies) realize just how much damage a small amount of synthetic hormones can do to a woman's body. In truth, I'm sure a large majority of women are fine with BC and can live with the symptoms they have, but I was never in that majority myself.
As far as weight gain, I did only gain the 5 lbs they talk about with the BCP, but I also had severe mood swings and developed a really bad rash.
I went to
seven different doctors and they all told me my rash was something different. One said I had scabies, one said it was yeast, another said stress, another said I was allergic to soap, etc. When I was finally referred to a dermatologist I was told it was dermatitis (translation=He didn't know what it was.)
I knew it was the BCP, so I just took myself off of it and low and behold, my moods leveled, I dropped 5 lbs, and my rash went away.
Doctors don't know everything. There is still a lot about the human body that eludes science. I think it's very important to be proactive about your own health care and demand what you think is best, or at least get a second opinion.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this!
I'm still baffled that your original doctor wouldn't at least try and switch your pill or give you a diaphragm (you are married after all.) It's a known fact the Depo shot can make some women gain a lot of weight, so why isn't it possible that the pill could do the same to some women? I'm glad you've found a different doctor!
If you are a morning person and can discipline yourself you could also try the Fertility Awareness Method. I just read a book called
Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It talks about this method. I'm not a morning person, but I'm thinking about trying it. Basically you take your temp each morning and chart it everyday. You'll know when you ovulate by this method and then you just refrain (or get too it as the case may be) from sex during that time. I'm mentioning this because I've know many women whom the diaphragm was not a good option for, although it is a good option for others.