at first I thought I would be nervously happy when I finally got good news about the actual surgery itself but I'm not...I have studied that for 3 years and am sure everything will go right abaring accidents but I just keep thinking that something is going to come up and they are going to change their minds.
Strange to see that after this long of fighting and pushing and calling and dr.'s appointments, etc...now I have a surgery date of Feb. 4th, my first reaction was oh no what have I gotten myself in to!
I don't know if anyone hears a simular tape talking in their heads, but me, I heard that I wasn't good enough to be thin, I didn't deserve it in some way...I would become something people in my life would not like (my sister has always been the thin one and doesn't want to talk about me having surgery, not saying why, so I get to make stuff up!) or I would be vulerable to violence again...I don't know. Last friday I had quite the break through in counseling, realizing that all those fears are limiting me and I must let them go...easier said then done LOL But I am not as nervous as I was. I hear that counseling before, during and after surgery is important and I agree!
deep breath and I'm holding my nose...I'm going to jump in!
Angela
Last edited by missangelaks; 12-11-2007 at 12:19 PM.
Surgery is scary enough. Looks like you have a good bead on this. Changing our selfs, even for the better is a scary thing also. How will we feel about how we look, will the change meet or exceed our expectations? How will others treat us? What will we expect of our selfs once this hurtle is over? Lots of questions. For some, all these questions can make a person very unsure of them selfs. You just take one day at a time. You have waited for this surgery for a very long time. You are now going to get to take a different path on the same road that all of us are taking to a more healthy thinner us. Your path will merge with the rest of us when the surgery is over. You might have different pit stops than some of us but you will still be taking the same journey all the rest of us are taking. We are here to give you encouragement when you aren't getting it anywhere else. Maybe your sister doesn't want to think about you having surgery, maybe she doesn't think it is the best choice for losing weight. I have no idea why she isn't more encouraging. You keep to your plan and make sure you do what the doc says. That seems to be, from what I have read, the way to success with the journey you have decided to take. Good luck and please let us know how you are doing.
You spoke about your fears so eloquently and intelligently, I'm confident you will figure out what you need in order to make this surgery a great success. I'd like to add - let yourself feel compassion for your sister; she is imperfect like the rest of us, and like the previous poster said, her reasons for not talking are still a mystery. Even if she is being selfish in some way, allowing yourself to feel compassion for her position will help you in the long run.
I'm looking forward to hearing that the procedure has gone smoothly, and that you are adapting as fabulously as I think you will!
i'm so impressed - and proud of you!!!! everything you've described so eloquently is so very very real, and contributed to your weight, in one way or another. so, now, you have your ISSUES right there in the open, and SUPPORT to help you get through them.
this is major. this is wonderful. notice i didn't say it was EASY. it'll be hard, but you have the tools at hand.
REMEMBER - bottom line - this is about YOUR weight loss and YOUR health, not about your sister's attitude!!!!!
Surgery is life-changing, but I think you are making the right decision for YOU.
You have come to the right place for support. This place was such a huge support for me before my surgery, and for the first few months after (until I went MIA for multiple reasons). Forget about the naysayers....just come here any time you need a boost and someone will be here for you!
One thing that I think is often overlooked with weight loss surgery is the fact that it forces you to treat yourself well with diet and exercise. For many of us, that's some scary stuff! You're worth it!!!
You deserve to be healthy and feel good. . . The only person who's thoughts and feelings matter in this are yours. You are making the right decision for you!! We'll be here for you!
I'm actually scared and it's not of the surgery
