[LittleMissMotivation]

Hiya!

I'm a newbie here, located in Philadelphia, PA. I just started on my new way of eating, and I'm doing that by counting calories.. It hasn't been difficult so far, because I'm using some online calorie tracker where I just have to find my food and click it and it does all the adding and so on for me.

I LOVE the little weight/goal trackers that everyone has in their signatures, so I made one up for myself. (I hope it shows up!)

More about me: I'm 25, married, working as an administrative assistant, which I've been doing for ages. My current weight, as you can see below, is a major impediment to both my self-esteem and professional development. It has caused SOOO many problems in my life, and unfortunately, it was always an unbreakable cycle.. I was fat so I hated myself so I didn't take care of myself so I didn't progress enough at work or have any friends, so I hated myself more and ate more and got fatter.. So goes the cycle of self-loathing!

I had successfully changed my ways before, around when I was 19. I had dropped from approximately the same weight I am now, to around 125lbs, but I wasn't doing it in a very healthy way. At first I had taken diet pills which curbed my appetite and made me basically anorexic. After that, I became obsessive about what I was eating and would eat so little that I would feel like passing out all the time. I wasn't always THAT bad, but that was kind of the theme for most of it. I kept it off, mostly, for a few years, but then I got involved in a bad relationship and along with the unhappiness came the eating.. I shot back up to where I was.

For a few years I really lacked the will-power to do anything about my weight, and it was causing problems in my new relationship with my husband, and it may have also recently cost me my job. (though they say it's about financial issues). Last week, I kind of just snapped, not in a crazy, psycho way, but in the way that I just thought out of the blue, "I'm going to do this".

On Sunday, I made my plans known to my husband, and on Monday we went out shopping for appropriate food and I created an account with that software I mentioned earlier. (No, I'm not working for them, which is why I'm not mentioning their name) All week, I've been trying to take better care of myself, and I've been FEELING better (eating too much bad food always made me feel sick) and have OPTIMISTIC feelings about my future. So far, I've lost 4lbs!

With needing to look for a new job, soon, and hopefully plans for international travel, I want to be looking and feeling my best so I can project it to others as well as just generally feeling better inside. I hope my regained sense of "can-do" will project me to where I want to be.

God, I could just talk forever, but I'll spare anyone who's taken the time to read this!

Anyway, I hope I live up to my log-in name!

[Hot Tamale]

Hi Little Ms. Motivation!

I love your name and you are so on the right track. Isn't it crazy how deep you can get into the weight gain cycle that you just stop caring and stop noticing the way that you really look? I had a breakdown a few days ago when I looked at myself in some pictures that I was taking and I was like "what the..."!! Well you have come to the right place. This commuinty is so full of great advice, support and motivation. Most importantly you are not alone!!! I really think that that is what is most important because I think that we are all in need of that extra dose of support from people who are going through the same process.

I am 31 and 229 lbs (we are about the same weight). It is funny that I was this weight in high school and I also lost the weight that I am trying to lose now when I was about 20. I lost about 60lbs and I felt great! Then maintaining it was a whole different story. I was not a health maintainer.

So any-whoo. We have a lot in common and thanks for introducing yourself!

Happy Losing!!

[LittleMissMotivation]

Hello Hot Tamale! (love your name, too!)

Thanks so much for the reply. It's interesting that we're both around the same weight.

I can completely relate to the photo scenario. I usually feel like I look okay until I see myself in photos and then I freak out and get disgusted with myself. I suppose that's a good form of motivation, though at times it just made me feel hopeless. But, no more. Which reminds me, I need to take a 'before' picture so I can track myself along the way. Hopefully, this time next year I can have an 'incredible shrinking woman!' collage.

I've been tracking my weight online for about the past week on MyDailyPlate, and then today I went and joined Weight Watchers and attended my first meeting. I also plan to go to a meeting for Overeaters Annonymous this weekend, though I don't think I have a real problem with eating (I can stop when I want to), I'm just too sedentary and eat too many "bad" foods (like home made french fries and baked goods).

I also plan on joining the gym this week. I'm a little nervous about this, since I've never really enjoyed going to the gym and I really never feel like going. I just think working out indoors is really boring, I'd rather be doing something outside like ice skating, hiking, skiing, or the like. However, the idea of having all this loose and hanging skin so early in life is a fairly decent motivational tool. (I have major fears of looking 'deflated')

Anyway, thank you so much for your response! I'd love to hear more about your journey. When did you start losing weight? Are you working on any particular plan/method?

Wishing you the best! Happy shrinking!