.. In my own opinion, I love it when my coworkers notice weight loss, but I'm still on my journey. I will admit that I hate it when people ask me what my goal weight is. I get worried that they will think I can't do it, or that it isn't low enough or whatever blah blah...
At the same time though, I think the opposite end of the spectrum, comments about being too thin, can be uncalled for.
For example, a girl I work with is rail thin, people says the same things to her that was said to you, " You need a cheeseburger" but not a single person has even hinted to me that I should maybe lay off the cheeseburgers. It offends her as much as it would offend me.
I think most people assume that calling someone "too skinny" is a compliment.
Consider talking to your coworker/s about how it offends you when they make comments about your weight and you feel it's inappropriate. You don't make comments about their weight, they shouldn't make comments about yours.
I don't actually get comments like that from my co-workers - rather they all seemed to have been inspired to join the gym. They do comment that they wished they could east as well as I do (like it's something hard!)
They DO comment on how toned I look or how healthy I am or how fit I must be but then they are all aware just how much I do to be the way I am. None of them have ever asked how much I weigh outrightly.
Yeah, it’s an interesting paradox. When I was underweight I had people coming up to me all the time commenting on my weight, asking if I’m sick, etc. But when I gained 40 pounds and was probably just as if not more unhealthy, no one said A WORD! No one says, “wow you gained a lot of weight!” Not one person comments on your weight when you heavier (at least, not to your face.) Why do people feel that they can comment on your weight when you’re skinny vs. when your overweight? Maybe because being thin is more acceptable so people feel it’s ok to comment on it. Now that I’m older if I had someone make inappropriate comments about my weight (and hopefully I’ll be at a weight where that’s actually possible!) I would confront it rather than try to make excuses or let myself get down. It’s rude and uncalled for, and it deserves to be addresses in a product and mature manner
400 calories in one day?
Another day at 650 calories?
120 at 5'5" seems like a perfectly fine weight to me. . . but if you go any lower I'd too be telling you to eat a cheeseburger. Because, at that point, I'd be thinking along the lines of anorexia. Your body begins to shut down if you eat less than 1000 calories a day. I read other entries in your blog and frankly I'm worried about you - your co-workers probably are, too. Control is nice, but your life shouldn't revolve around *that* much control. I'm sorry, I know this board is all about support, etc., but you're underfeeding yourself.
ETA: My bad. I re-read and saw the 400 calorie limit was for your dinner. *whew* That makes me feel better. But, the 650 calorie limit is DEFINITELY too low. ANd the day you felt wobbly you only ate 1200 calories! I still worry a bit, but not as much as I initially did.
Last edited by Amberelise; 12-06-2007 at 10:14 AM.
No, it's not right to make negative comments on a person's weight regardless of their size. I think that's the difference between what your co-workers are saying to you, and what co-workers are saying to others who like the comments.
When a co-worker says "Wow! You're losing weight!!!" and it's a positive thing, then you take it that way and feel better about yourself. When they say "Eat a cheeseburger!" what they're really saying is they don't approve and it is a negative comment, and it makes you feel worse.
If someone were to say "You're looking nice!" you may have a different opinion on the matter of co-workers' opinions, but unfortunately they aren't saying positive things. And most certainly negative comments are rude. You should tell them so... politely ....that people come in all shapes & sizes, and regardless of how they feel about your shape and size, it's not polite to make such negative comments about you not being large enough. You certainly would never speak to someone about them not looking good enough in any way shape or form, so you don't like hearing the same about yourself.
However, saying that they don't have the right to be jealous is a little off the mark. Everyone has the right to be jealous. Everyone has the right to feel any emotion that they feel. (And maybe they have tried as hard as you have worked. We don't want to judge others even when they judge us.) It's how they deal with it that matters. And again, they are not dealing with it well by making negative comments about you in order to feel better about themselves.
So, stand up for yourself, let it be known, but then get back to being your regular friendly self at work and hopefully the others will realize that you just want to go about your day the same as they do.
Yeah, it’s an interesting paradox. When I was underweight I had people coming up to me all the time commenting on my weight, asking if I’m sick, etc. But when I gained 40 pounds and was probably just as if not more unhealthy, no one said A WORD! No one says, “wow you gained a lot of weight!” Not one person comments on your weight when you heavier (at least, not to your face.) Why do people feel that they can comment on your weight when you’re skinny vs. when your overweight? Maybe because being thin is more acceptable so people feel it’s ok to comment on it. Now that I’m older if I had someone make inappropriate comments about my weight (and hopefully I’ll be at a weight where that’s actually possible!) I would confront it rather than try to make excuses or let myself get down. It’s rude and uncalled for, and it deserves to be addresses in a product and mature manner
I understand this. I wasn't underweight, but I was at a healthy weight - about 125-130 lbs. Other people were constantly telling me I was skinny, tiny, asking me if I was a size 2 (no, I wasn't that small), etc. Then I gained 40 lbs. and no one said anything. No one was concerned about my weight gain, the health risks, etc. When I decided to lose weight my "friends" put a lot of pressure on me to not lose any weight.
Penelope, one thing about jealous people is that they can't just admit that they wish they had what you have (your body, your discipline, etc.) I hate it when jealous people express how they feel by being petty & catty and trying to frustrate the people they're jealous of.
I have friends who complain about their weight vs. my weight, then they drink lots of alcohol on the weekends, get drive thru or takeout instead of eating at home or bringing lunch to work, they don't exercise, etc. It's like they want their weight to magically go away even though they know that mine is going away with hard work.
It's interesting how people will comment on skinny people (women especially).
I remember being a kid (around 10ish) and my group of best friends and I always hung out. A and K were twins, and K was one of those naturally lean, thin people, even as a kid she was pretty small. We used to tease her all the time. And she was self conscious of her body, and I think the teasing helped her with that when she reached puberty. I realized that it wasn't nice of us, and stopped.
I think some people don't want to comment on weight gain, because it'll make the person self conscious. Or they don't know the reasons behind it. Sure it'd be great if someone said, "You've gained a lot of weight, is everything alright?" But how many people will just nod and say they've been deperessed?
Also a lot of people don't actually notice weight gain at first. My mom (it's really annoying) doesn't notice weight gain or weight loss at all on anyone. It bothers me mostly because her weight bothers her so much, but she just sort of ignores how everyone else looks. *eyeroll* guess it's a blessing and curse, because she doesn't care what everyone looks like, but it's also hard to get any gratification for my weight loss.
One thing that bothers me as well are people who are overly concerned with young women's weights. I know A and K 's mom sat down with them when they turned 13 and told them they would have to start watching their weight now because it was at this age that people gained weight they'd never be able to lose. And it wasn't like she was saying you know teens eat a little too much junk food, so watch what you eat, she was saying don't get fat because fat is bad. She even said to my mom once, when A was 10, that A would have to watch her weight her whole like... A isn't fat, she just doesn't not gain weight like K.
Grrrr. Rant over. Sorry. But I'll definitely try to watch what I say to others about their weight etc. How I word it anyway.
Last edited by Cats tongue; 12-06-2007 at 12:05 PM.
Thank you to everyone for their comments! I enjoyed reading your input and perspectives.
blondeblueeyedbeauty - I do, I'll just have to find the link to that post again.
Amberelise - I have never eaten only 650 calories in one day, so I'm not sure where you're seeing that. I don't have time to doublecheck my blog right now.
Please keep in mind that the 1200 you read that I had eaten that day does not include the vegetables or fruit that I take in. I don't count any fresh produce in my daily calories.
Basically, I try to eat 3 healthy meals a day of around 400 calories, with 300 'flex' calories. If I want to spend those on snacks, or nibbles, or whatever, that's what they're for.
Sometimes on days when I'm just not hungry, I eat less then 1500 calories. I also take a multivitamin, and calcium.
I appreciate your concern Please feel free to ask me anything.
Last edited by just_a_dreamy1; 12-06-2007 at 03:03 PM.
Hi just a dreamy 1 it does sometimes look like i've only eaten like 200 calories in one day on fitday, but that's only because i either sometimes forget to write the rest, or i'm ashamed! I don't believe for one second you eat only 650 calories in one day even on my fitday when sometimes it'll say 1200-1400 it's probably more than that, cause i tend to underestimate what i've actually eaten! Your eating plan sounds great, stick with it.
As for comments made earlier about people making comments about looking 'too skinny' or losing too much weight.... 1 word- JEALOUS. One of my friends in particular ALWAYS sees what i'm having to eat that day, she'll ask me every single day 'what have you eaten today?' or 'i'm making something to eat, you want some?' If i say no, she'll make me feel bad by saying 'you never eat anything i make and i never see you eating'. Doesn't mean i don't eat?! This has been going on for ages now, and frankly it's driving me crazy. It's like she tries her best to sabotage my efforts of losing weight, any healthy meal i eat she goes in a huff. It's crazy how some people get so jealous. But actually, the fact that she's so jealous of the weight i've lost kind of motivates me even more if that makes sense, i want to prove that i can do this, even with efforts to prevent me staying on track!
Keep up the good work dreamy, you sound like you're doing a great job, and don't listen to any comments people say, because they're more likely than not just jealous!
Leah - Thank you for the support, sweety! It means so much
I found the day in question where I supposedly ate only 650 calories. I did write that number down, but when I redid the calculations and included the vegetables and fruit that I had eaten, calories actually came to 1145.
It's still low, but I literally slept half of the day away and did absolutely nothing but sit in the house. I'm sure that the occasional day like that is not going to do me any harm.
when a person loses a huge amount of weight (ie 40 lbs) and quickly it's probably due to extreme calorie restriction. i have been there...i wanted to lose about 50 i a few months (like 8) and i calculated it out, and deccided to aim to eat about 350 calories a day. for a whlie it worked. i went from 180 to 150 in about 2 months. i didnt stick to it, i probably averaged about 800 calories on most days, and feel horribel about it, but it made me lose the weight. after that i had to maintain eating about 800- 1000 calories a day, mixing it up, just to keep from gaining the wight back. this was in my freshman year of college. i had gained the 15, and didnt want to be the fat girl on campus. there is a lot of pressure, and i understand what dreamy 1 is saying. i got -tons- of compliments when i was doing htings that were HORRIBLE for me. it took me until the begining of my senior year to get my metaboolism back to what it used to be. if she has been losing weight and gotten her metabolism down to a maintenance level of 600- 800 calories a day, it's going to take time to get it back up. recovery from this type of restriction is hard, takes so much slef control and slowly inching it back up. you have to keep an eye on the scale and excersise to build muscle that was lost. its a total re- evaluation. she is brave for going through it, and it's scary to think that you have absolutely no leeway in calories. if you eat anyplace that isnt your house you end up having to bring food, even restaurants because the lowest calorie dish is usually somewhere around 400, that means you can have an apple and some oatmeal for the rest of the day.
and i agree, people at work yell at me for trying to lose weight, even though i am actually about 5 lbs overweight and 33% body fat.
hepmelly - My apologies! I went back and reread your post, and I think I understand it now. So...I'm back to revise my comment
I think you misunderstand about me...I didn't lose 40 lbs in a short amount of time, nor do I restrict my calories. I lost 40 lbs during a period of about 2 1/2 years, by calorie counting, eating healthy, and getting more active. Currently, I eat around 1500 calories a day.
to you for coming back from a difficult and scary place!
Last edited by just_a_dreamy1; 12-07-2007 at 05:21 PM.
Comments about Young Womens' Weight
....that people come in all shapes & sizes, and regardless of how they feel about your shape and size, it's not polite to make such negative comments about you not being large enough. You certainly would never speak to someone about them not looking good enough in any way shape or form, so you don't like hearing the same about yourself.
even on my fitday when sometimes it'll say 1200-1400 it's probably more than that, cause i tend to underestimate what i've actually eaten! Your eating plan sounds great, stick with it.
to you for coming back from a difficult and scary place! 
