Most excellent Challenge Name holyt! Got the wide-awakes so hope it's ok to start us off on Wonderful Weed Week 2?
Naughty & Nice . . . that's exactly what I've been over the weekend!
Did really well on exercise & water . . . and pretty OP . . . just need to pull some more late night hours to finish off that paper work I brought home - Grrrrrrrr -
Hmmm . . . this Challenge ends on Monday the 17th, right? 43 days? With a Holiday thrown in . . . gonna make this one REALLY count . . . I'm going to be 47 on the 23rd and would love to make some strides for a healthier POST mid life, ya know?
Isn't the 23rd a special day for you too azzie? I remember you Posting about that day and smiling to myself - is it the last day of your personal challenge?
PS: Did anyone else see the Dalmation leap off the Clydesdale Wagon into the Miller Lite Beer Truck commercial! ROTF!
Wanted a Miller Lite soooo bad today . . . drank it all thru the late 70's - early 80's - can't even remember why I switched to Bud Light. Miller Lite is the lowest carb I believe . . . hmmmm . . . RESISTED tho' - LOVED the Packer Game today and then Pats over Indy (I lost a beer bet over the phone on that one - HAD to take the 5 & 1/2 pts - silly me!) - only saw parts of your Cowboys spanking the Eagles, holyt - what a BLOW OUT!
G'mornin WEEDers! Sorry I slacked off last week on my posting, but the reasons were obvious. I lost five depression pounds. I don't think they're the sticking kind.
Since finding out about my husband's infidelity Thursday, I have NOT been eating. Without sounding like I'm putting myself down, I would have NEVER thought a big girl like me could go any amount of time without eating, whatsoever. So I literally did not eat Thursday. Literally nothing. Not counting the bit of Halloween candy I snuck that morning, found the emails at 8 am, did not eat again that day~~ and I worked all 12 hours that night. Still not feeling hungry or tired. Friday I couldn't sleep, couldnt eat.
Fell asleep at noon...woke up at 2:30. Still didn't eat. Finally by 6 pm I thought I have to eat something or I'll pass out at work. Ate half my meal from a local Mexican place, promptly threw it all up. Went in to work and didn't eat, then around 3 am my girlfriend said, at least walk down to the cafeteria with me, just to go for a walk, get off the floor. Of course I think she remembered my passion for the cafeteria's baked potato soup. So I got a bowl and ate half. Didn't eat, didn't sleep, finally fell asleep around noon? 12:30? and of course by then, my friends from work started calling me "checking up on me" of course nosy to find out what's going on.
Thanks Aud for the advice to keep it private. I think it's the right thing to do now too, but I'm going crazy not having anyone to talk to about it. So thanks to the rest of you for listening to me! Anyhow yeah, they woke me around 2pm? Woke up, still not hungry, not tired, went bowling, nothing. Finally around 1 am I ran to McDonalds. Binged my mind out, luckily did not throw up. Fell asleep on couch around 3 am (after the time change) and slept til 10 am. I needed to sleep so badly, but I had the WORST dreams, I woke up worse off than before I fell asleep. Showered, took care of the kids, then laid in my bed crying til at least 1pm.
I had promised I'd take the kids to see the Bee Movie so drug my puffy face out of bed to do that around 2, and the movie really helped cheer me up. It's a CUTE movie, already an easy favorite of mine. GO SEE IT! No popcorn or anything for me. (this whole time, I've been drinking all WATER, tons of water, and coffee/cream) But I left the movie feeling better, and was glad I got out of the house and took my kids somewhere fun.
We went shopping at the Flower Factory, a wholesale club for crafters and vendors (I got a membership by being a nurse), they have mostly cute decorating items, candles, all that stuff girls like for CHEAP-O. I spent around 50 bucks and ah the therapy of shopping. Got some cute gingerbreads for my kitchen and some rustic Americana stuff for my bathroom.
The kids were hungry and, feeling somewhat better, I was too. So I took them to Cici's Pizza, thinking I'd have some guilty yum yums and a salad. But I ate too much, but didn't get sick. Visited some family since I was on this good-feelin roll, and went home, helped with the homework, did the baths and went to bed. Slept til 4am. So I guess the insomnia is still a problem. It has been for a few weeks now, even before my bad news. But 4 am wake up is better than those 1 am nights.
I'm worried about anorexia, or even bullimia. Though we can all see that this is depression, situational depression, but not even being hungry, then feeling so in control, not eating felt like it is keeping me on an even keel, no spikes, highs/lows, binging, cravings, it's all just one even keel. But even in the above paragraphs you can see that I started eating again each time I felt better.
Oh and I didn't mention it but my husband and I talked all weekend long. It was long and so emotional. Of course there were roses one day, and a long handwritten letter. He's trying so hard. And I truly believe he is sincere. But I'm so devastated that I'm not hearing him at all. And I'm becoming a prisoner to my own paranoia, checking his emails obsessively, his phone. And I've just been up and down. Sometimes I feel myself softening towards him but that just makes me angry at myself. And I'm afraid I'll never give myself completely to him again.
Okay, that's enough. Time alone for me, is time to get myself all worked up thinking about it again. Being distracted, work, kids, (gym? ahem? LOL) seems to be working, or is that avoiding the issues? Being alone with my thoughts is just driving me crazy I think. Obviously some scenarios/words/phrases/ideas are just burned into my mind.
So that's the long way to say, I'm doing a bit better, but I'm still a wreck. I'm going to call today to find myself a good counselor. Should I seek couples counseling? (He's willing to go) or just for myself? Or someone we can seperate and together? How does that work?
I promise the next post will be about the challenge and not all this personal stuff, I want to throw myself into working on ME. I don't want to fall into a comfort food binge eating zone. Obviously, the eating I have done these past few days hasn't been good choices. And obviously not eating at all isn't an option. So when I get up to get Robert on the bus, I'll pop back in and plan my day of taking care of ME. And I can't wait to catch up with the rest of you! And meet the newbies! (P.S. I see you SHELBY! I've missed you!)
Is anyone still reading this? LOL just kiddin. See you all around 8 am. xoxoxo Michelle
Michelle -- Wow!! I think you are doing very well, even though you probably feel somewhat like a train wreck!! I personally would recommend individual counseling first -- they can do or recommend a couples later on -- I think you need to balance yourself out first -- sitting in a room with your husband rehashing it all won't help until you've learned yourself how to deal with it. He does sound truly regretful. Whenever you are feeling down -- go hug a kid -- it always cheers me up!! (Glad you liked the Bee Movie, now I will take my kids -- I'm always afraid to sit through a cartoon and absolutely HATE it!!).
Well, this weekend was a total loss -- I'm having such a hard time getting my act together. But, today is a new day, a new week starting out and I can do this!!
WEED for the week!!
W -- bought a ton of caf-free diet soda yesterday because water just isn't my thing and my nutritionist had said this was okay!!
E -- Okay, so I can never remember which "E is first" so I'm making this exercise today!! As usual, my plan of using the treadmill during Nicholas' pre-school has been shot down -- I have to print some pictures at Walmart for the school yearbook, return a few things,etc. but I'm going to try!!
E -- I have got to stick to my calories, and I have actually started off quite high -so there should be no excuses!!
D -- To keep Michelle and her family in my prayers!! and to "get my head in the game" as my oldest would say (too much High School Musical!!)
NMichelle...i am so sorry to hear about your problems. You are by far one of the nicest people on this site and i hate to hear about all that. (No insult to anyone else here. You are all by far the nicest people i've ever cyber talked to!!).
I am doing well on my new challenge. Already dropped a pound and am already soooo close to the next one, i can "taste" it!! hahaha.
I love the new name of the challenge. It is very fitting considering i am hoping for some naughty and nice lingerie for christmas!!!
Today's weed:
W- 8 glasses
E- 1200 calories
E- 60 minute toning and strengthing class
D- on the way down my last original 10 pounds goal!!!
no time for personals at the moment but i'm glad you all like the name....you girls all stay strong ok? I'll try to post from work and if not it'll be later when I get home
OMG this whole not sleeping thing is screwing me up. I've been up since my last message up there and have already run a gamut of emotions. It's exhausting to say the least. I really am trying not to make the whole thread about me and this problem.
So today. I am in that funk, not feeling like eating. I think I'll try to go back to bed and wake up hopefully feeling differently. I work tonight and hopefully will see my counselor for the first time tomorrow.
I can't get to the gym today, I need to technically rest up for work tonight. But I will try to make myself eat and eat healthily. I had bought the stuff to make my cheese soup (heathy comfort food!) a week ago, maybe I'll make it.
W- 100 oz or more since I'm working tonight
E- none although right now, getting out of bed is exercise for me
E- I need to eat something now. Oatmeal. SB wraps lunch. Soup and sammies for dinner.
D- Get out of bed. Make my counselling appt. Get a shower. Brush teeth. Function.
NMichelle, that "funk" you're talking about sounds normal given what you're going through. You're trying to work through a major stressor. Good for you in connecting with a counsellor and for being kind to yourself.
Off to take my 10 yr old to the psychiatric/pediatric dentist who specializes in kids with anxieties . . . gosh knows I've tried everything else with her . . . gassing her for the simplest procedures because of the panic . . . hoping to make some kind of break thru today.
Hiya lumiff! Glad you're in this Challenge! Hadn't seen ya so wasn't sure - GOOD LUCK & Happy WEEDing!
I think its sounds like you're doing GREAT nchelle - during this tough time. WTG on staying ACTIVE/making it to work/bowling/water & doing stuff with the kids! Not a big deal to miss a few meals/then overeat here & there Girl - this too shall pass, ya know? The sleep thing sounds like the biggest problem - I KNOW. Trust me. MUST have rest (GOOD rest) to function on your schedule. Hoping the counselor hooks you up with some low dose sleep aids for the short term. The rest will fall into place . . . it really will. Also hope you'll double up on the multi vitamins - build up that immunity. Important to take care of YOU right now. This is HIS prob - not yours - and if that means staying busybusybusy to keep your mind off the issue - SO BE IT. You're not "avoiding" anything at all - sounds to me like you dealt/are dealing with your feelings HEAD ON - so no worries there. Can you tell I've had the rug pulled out from under me b4?
Since I'm babbling here to you all, dear cyber buds just will take this babble a step further and give you the short version of my world view--Men are all dogs. Bottom Line. I've worked with a ratio of 10:1 men v women and here's the summary: I've been anywhere from 135 to almost 250#'s during these 23 working years - incl. 2 pregnancies that I stayed at work full term each - had guys hitting on me thru ALL of the above - Have had 3 major relationships in my life - been true blue in all of them (No regrets although I know I sound bitter) - the point is - a woman can turn down a zillion flirtations - but guys? ONE woman shows a little interest in their "problems" or "feelings" and they go all GOOFY. Like little boys, ya know? Fall all over themselves.
LOVE my dh dearly and he's never been unfaithful but as the househusband/primary caregiver of our 10 yr old daughter - you should SEE the "happily" married women who have been all over him at the different pre-school/grade school/Girl Scouts/Dance Class events I attend when I can over the years! He's like a friggin' CELEBRITY - *squuuueeeeeaaaaaallllls of "Oh Mike - IS THIS Tess's MOM????" "It's soooooo wonderful to FINALLY meet you!!!!" "Mike is just so FANTASTIC . . ." blahblahblahblah etc ad nauseum! He pointed out the one who wanted to talk to him about "problems in her marriage" . . . Guess what? I represent 230-240 people - most of whom are men - how many per night do you think I could engage in the "problems in my marriage" conversation Mikey Ole Boy?
OMGosh - gotta get out of here - but just will add that made the mistake of telling my Sis about it - who promptly told my other Sis about it . . . to this day I STILL have them asking about if Mike scored at the last PTA meeting etc . . . Definitely recommend just talking about this to the counsellor & cyber buds ONLY!
Keep hitting the WEED!
W: 120-150oz
E: Gonna be late to work so Power Walk definitely - gym if possible (upper body)
E: Stay OP for the WHHHHOOOOOSSSH Week!
D: One day at a time - for the next 43 days of the Challenge!
Michelle, I'm so sorry to hear about all the stress you're going through right now. It's not easy. I think that going to see a councilor is a good thing. I think that you and your Husband should go to a councilor separately. He clearly has some issues...and it would probably be good to have him talk to someone, too. I would do that before going to a councilor as a couple. I think you're dealing with this as best as you can right now. Spend some time doing things for YOU. Get out of the house, if it makes you feel better--get a pedicure, wander around the mall...whatever alleviates the anxiety you're feeling. You'll get through this, hon.
Auddie--yep! Your birthday is the last day for my personal challenge. I hoped to be at goal by the 23rd. I don't know if I'll make it, but I'm gonna TRY! My personal challenge has sort of fallen off the track since I started, but I'm still lookin' out for Dec. 23...I would LOVE to be at goal right before Christmas.
For today:
W- 100 oz, and some green/herbal tea. Nothing like a hot mug of tea when it's chilly out!
E- Liftin' weights with Rob later tonight.
E- On plan! I've already had some delicious on-plan food, and I've got dinner/snacks all planned out for the rest of the day. Can we say Flounder and baked bell pepper strips tossed in olive oil? YUM.
D- Hard work is all it takes. Hard work, dedication, and a mind set that says: "this isn't a diet, it's normal".
Hi everyone,
Aud, I'm new to all this stuff, did your last post mean I was suppose to go there to post to day. sorry wasn't sure
Yesterday went well I stayed on ww plan, had my 64oz water, walked for 30 mins. and accomplished some sorting. It's been tough though, I have been on evenings and have two more to go. Seems like all I have been doing is planning, preparing, eating, working and sleeping.
Ok for to day I plan to:
W- Get in 64oz water
E- stay within ww pts.
E- do an exercise video for 30 mins.
D- Remember why I'm doing all this.(for better health) of course I'll take the better body that goes with it. Azure , you go girl. Do you plan your menu for the whole week? I just do day by day, maybe I should do the whole week at a time, prob. saves time.
Have a great day all. ......
Hi everyone, been quite MIA for a few days. Michelle, I think private counseling is best at first, but thats just my opinion.
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Tommy's sick again, poor baby woke up at 6am vomiting fell asleep at 9 am, thank goodness, Ive lysoled and bleached what I can. I hope he's better when he wakes up.
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In a terrible PMS moment, I think I have eaten 10 pounds of halloween candy! Ok not that much but I cant wait til tomorrow when I can take it to work and get it out of my house.
w 80 oz
e 30 minutes
e 1300 cals
d take care of tommy and keep Makie away from him. more bleach and lysol-ing when he wakes up
for Michelle, you can get through this. Sounds like you have done lots of positive stuff since this all happened, keep it up.....I'm here if you need someone to talk to...
Michelle, as someone who has been through a similar situation - if you ever need someone else to talk to I am online most evenings. I know I am new here but sometimes you can never have enough ears to listen.
I have done terrible with my water and exercise so far! I keep forgetting to count but I know it's not enough. Unless unsweetened tea counts lol
New goals
W - 4 glasses per day for starters
E - 1 daily walk even if it's just to the store to get my butt up and movind daily!
E - Staying on plan with this one and doing very well.
D - To remember that I am surrounded by so many inspirations and that I can do this!
W.O.W. Naughty & Nice Challenge! WEEK 2
Got the wide-awakes so hope it's ok to start us off on Wonderful Weed Week 2?
43 days? With a Holiday thrown in . . . gonna make this one REALLY count . . . I'm going to be 47 on the 23rd and would love to make some strides for a healthier POST mid life, ya know?
Mornin' WEED'ers!
Glad you're in this Challenge! Hadn't seen ya so wasn't sure - GOOD LUCK & Happy WEEDing!
-Men are all dogs. Bottom Line. I've worked with a ratio of 10:1 men v women and here's the summary: I've been anywhere from 135 to almost 250#'s during these 23 working years - incl. 2 pregnancies that I stayed at work full term each - had guys hitting on me thru ALL of the above - Have had 3 major relationships in my life - been true blue in all of them (No regrets although I know I sound bitter) - the point is - a woman can turn down a zillion flirtations - but guys? ONE woman shows a little interest in their "problems" or "feelings" and they go all GOOFY. Like little boys, ya know? Fall all over themselves.
He pointed out the one who wanted to talk to him about "problems in her marriage" . . . Guess what? I represent 230-240 people - most of whom are men - how many per night do you think I could engage in the "problems in my marriage" conversation Mikey Ole Boy?
Azure , you go girl.
......
