My best friend had her first baby several weeks ago. Already, she's circulating around all these gorgeous photos of her, and her baby, and her skinny little body.
She's also circulating around photos of right BEFORE she came pregnant and her solo right AFTER she had given birth.
I have almost no photos of me and my babies. I am so phobic of having my picture taken. It makes me so mad that I've done this to myself...where are my photos with them?
Part of me hates her this...and I know it's awful and shallow and selfish...but I do. I spent 3 months listening to her complain when she packed on 50 pounds. Then it all melted away. And here I am...baby weight is never going away.
Altari -- while I've never had to deal with the pregnancy issue, I HAVE had to deal with tons and tons of jealousy surrounding friends and stuff like that.
All I can say is, START taking pictures of you with your children!! Your children love you no matter what size, shape, or weight you are, and when they are older they will appreciate the picture's they'll have with you.
My mom is overweight, and has been for my whole life. But you know what? I think she is BEAUTIFUL!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the pictures of me with my mom, and I'm not jealous AT ALL of other girls that have "thin" "trophy"-type moms. I would rather have my mom than any other, even when I've seen her dealing with body image and weight issues.
The best thing you can do is start to instill healthy body image in your children by showing them that body shape, size, weight, thin, fat, short, tall, whatever DOESN'T matter, and that you're just who you are (though you ARE working towards being a you that is, in your eyes, "better"). Sure, you may have 50 pounds of baby weight that you haven't gotten rid of yet. BUT -- you've lost a bunch of inches, which is AWESOME!!
It's hard to watch your friends be where you want to be, but try to let that motivate you so that you can get to where you want to be.
But in the mean time, stop worrying about how YOU feel about the pictures and take them FOR your babies. They'll thank you later :-)
Hey, I can't tell you that I know how you feel because I don't have a friend that does that nor have I ever had children, but I think it could be some really good motivation for you. Instead of having these feelings bottle up to make you hate her, use it to your benefit! (Also, don't be mad at your friend... if this situation were vice versa, it wouldn't seem unfair. There were many times that I felt when situations came a little bit unfair, but that's when taking matters into your own hands seem like the best remedy!)
ADD: Also, do start taking pictures of you and your children together! You don't want to avoid it just for a vanity issue, right? Cherish your familial moments before they grow older!!!
Last edited by veggielover; 11-05-2007 at 11:22 AM.
I am not agreed with you.You must try to encourage her to loose her weight.You know over weight causes many problems to health.One should be smart enough to enjoy life.
You know Altari, I have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt. Damn T-shirt is too small though. LOL
I am going through what you are going through right now. I avoid the camera like the plague and prefer to take photos of my children with their father. I am ashamed of who I am at this size. It is hard to look in the mirror everyday much less look at pictures.
My advice (advice I too am currently following) is to concentrate on you. Be proud of what you have accomplished and like a previous poster said, take pictures with your children. Your children will love you no matter what. That in itself should be enough for you to love you no matter what. You are beautiful to them even if you don't think so.
When your babies grow up, your memories of them will still be precious. You don't want to miss out on kodak moments with them! You will appreciate those photos down the road whether you know it or not.
Good luck on your weight loss journey! We are all pulling for you!
Last edited by ~*Kellie*~; 11-05-2007 at 11:34 AM.
I am not agreed with you.You must try to encourage her to loose her weight.You know over weight causes many problems to health.One should be smart enough to enjoy life.
I think 99.9% of us are fully aware of the issues that extra weight brings about... even painfully aware. Isn't that why we're here?
Altari- My mother has gone from skin and bones to overweight over the years and I have never once seen her as one or the other in pics of us. Just as my mother is the most beautiful woman on this earth, your children think you are, too! I agree with veggielover- cherish the moments.
i know exactly what you are felling. my friend also gained 50 lbs when she was pregnant and 3 months after the baby she lost 45lbs. i has so jealous because here i am working my butt off and it just happens to melt off. well not that easy for everyone. as of taking pics of me, i am just now feeling comfortable taking pics of me. i too have hardly any pics of me with the kids. i am getting better. all we can do is work our butt off and pray it is enough. as for pics learn how to suck in and find your best angle. sometimes it works. if the kids get older and ask why there are no pics of you with them tell them you were the one taking the picture. i too hate skinny girls....well until i am one. lol
The hardest thing about weight gain/loss, is coping with your own emotional probems, and dealing with those around you, who may hurt you, or may be more successful then you.
These are incredibly tough things to deal with.We all have to go through them at some point.
some things to remeber are that, where shemay be more successful in loosing weight, you may be more successful in another area of life. If you regret not having your photo taken, then maybe its somthing you could learn tod slowely as your weight drops and your slowely getting more and more confident.
Just remeber you are on a big journey, and you need t try and stay strong and focuss on the really important things that are good in your life.
its very hard, but try not to let her get to you, just focuss on your own life and family when things get a bit much.
sorry i cant be much more help, all i know is negative blocks are bad bad bad, and hard to break but you gotta smile girl :-)
I want to cry...a lot
