I was reading the "Dating after a big weight loss" post by scgirl and I was thinking how cool would it be to date a former fat guy/girl. Just think of some of the potential "akwardness" that may be removed from conversations and explanations about body image and intimacy, self-esteem in the new body, diet, exercise, etc.
I recall seeing a married couple on a daytime television talk show some years back, a hot couple btw, and you'd never believe they both were obsese since childhood and very unpopular. Their weighloss journies took place in their early twenties and of course they were both oblivoius to the dating world prior to their weightlosses. They both stated how meeting each other and sharing a similar (and rare) past made it easier for them as oppossed to dating someone who wouldn't understand the self-image issues they faced in relation to their former self and their new body.
Not saying this would solve the dating problems for those who have lost lots of weight because there may be other underlying issues detering success in the dating area. I was just thinking dating a former overweight person would sort of "level" the playing field, so to speak. Just a thought.
I agree. I've thought about it too, and also think it would be very cool. I don't know how to go about meeting one though -- maybe I should start up a "formerly morbidly obese support group" in my county. Or just place a personals ad that says "formerly obese girl seeking formerly obese guy." I just might try that when I'm finish up with the guy I'm seeing now. Someone should try it and let us now how it goes!
Well If I wasn't married.. I'd probably be happy to date a guy that had lost a lot of weight too then he would understand somewhat the body image issues and would probably be a good supporter in helping keep the weight off like working out together and etc.
I just might try that when I'm finish up with the guy I'm seeing now.
Lol, sounds like he doesn't have a chance of lasting too long, haha. Btw, you look soooo pretty in your profile pic.
It's nice to know ladies I wasn't the only one who thought about that!
I mean I know that doesn't mean the person won't be a jerk or will be, or that someone who hasn't gone through what we have with weight won't understand, but in my mind I just keep thinking someone with the same struggle would HAVE to be sensitive to the issues we all deal with in relation to weight.
I will never forget going to DF parent's house for the first time, seeing the pictures on the wall and going, "You were the fat kid?????????? How come you didn't tell me!?!" This was a few months after we started dating and he was well aware that I had lost a lot of weight right before meeting him.
Interestingly enough, he's still with me . I don't think it had quite the effect on his childhood as it did mine. In Nebraska, it was ok to be "husky" and he used it to his advantage through football. But he also had goofy glasses and struggled a bit and I think we both have that sensestivity in us because of it.
It's the same thing when I meet someone in person who's lost a lot of weight. Immediately I want to talk about all the issues that no one else understands! It's like finding a long-lost sister or brother.
Thank goodness I have all of you because -- sad to say -- I don't meet many people in Real Life who have lost a lot of weight (and kept it off).
It's the same thing when I meet someone in person who's lost a lot of weight. Immediately I want to talk about all the issues that no one else understands! It's like finding a long-lost sister or brother.
Thank goodness I have all of you because -- sad to say -- I don't meet many people in Real Life who have lost a lot of weight (and kept it off).
Awwww
I was visiting someone in the hospital recently and one of the nurses looked like she had *just* lost a lot of weight (gaunt face, LOTS of loose skin around her arms, etc...) and I so badly wanted to just start talking to her, but of course that would be in very bad taste.
Wow, you may be onto something here. You know, there are so many dating sites set up specifically for certain people to meet others with like interests. There are sites for doglovers to meet other doglovers, horselovers, etc. There are over 50 dating sites, wealthy people dating sites, ethnic dating, single parents, Christian dating sites, etc. (I did a quick Google search) Why couldn't there be one specifically for formerly obese people to meet others like them? You may have thought up a money maker for yourself! It certainly would be a great idea, don't you think? I can't think of a good name right this minute, but I bet if we all put our heads together we would come up with something!
Good luck if you decide to pursue that avenue. I think it would be fantastic. But, I am very happily married, so I couldn't use it, but I still think it is a wonderful idea!!
Well If I wasn't married.. I'd probably be happy to date a guy that had lost a lot of weight too then he would understand somewhat the body image issues and would probably be a good supporter in helping keep the weight off like working out together and etc.
I have two very geeky crushes on two post-fatties. One is this guy who works at my local coffee place. I remember him a couple of years ago when he was all John Goodman (and I thought he was gorgeous btw.) and now he's probably 100 or so lbs lighter (and still gorgeous.) I don't think I was much of a blip for him so I don't think he would remember me being heavier. I am really attracted to him. He was very confident and friendly before but now it's a different kind. It's calmer and he seem so centered. I know he does Yoga and all that kind of stuff. He seems like a really beautiful person, but of course I just make silly conversation with him and leave.
My other geek post-fattie crush is on this girl who works at a bookstore I go on sundays to drink coffee and write. She lost a LOT of weight and looks dramatically different. Like coffee cutie, she was really sweet and funny, but she's like fabulous now. The way she smiles now is so awesome. I don't know how to explain it. Again, I just say a few niceties and leave.
Oh the flip side (and maybe I'll start another thread about this) my partner of about a year or so broke up with me recently. He is of "normal" size and liked me when we met, but has found my "transformation" a little too traumatic.
Dating a former overweight person?
. I don't think it had quite the effect on his childhood as it did mine. In Nebraska, it was ok to be "husky" and he used it to his advantage through football. But he also had goofy glasses and struggled a bit and I think we both have that sensestivity in us because of it.
