[Bobbie Wickham]

This weekend was a disaster. Or, more accurately, I was a disaster this weekend. (It wasn't the weekend's fault, after all, it was mine.) And, I have to say, mostly I'm writing this to confessionalize more than anything else... I know what I did wrong and I know what I have to do.

On Friday night, I attended a August Recess/back to school party. Well, the booze, brie and baguette (not to mention a few other items) proved too hard to resist. Overall, the night wasn't as bad as it could have been--I "broke even" calorically, even if my choices were horrible. So, Saturday I slept in and by the time I got around to eating at 2pm, I was starving. So, I got the 12" Subway (though with no mayo, oil or other fattening toppings like I am wont to do) rather than the 6" and got a bag of HarvestCrisps, as well. Then there was the grab back of not-so-Smartfood popcorn, as well. Then I hung out with some friends and party leftovers abounded. I gave in and ended up eating quite a few water crackers and Boursin. Not a ton, but still, I just gave in. The day could have been much, much worse than it was, but it was still not good. But it was almost a perfect day compared to Sunday.

It was rainy and icky and I decided I wanted a warm breakfast. After all, I'd blown the weekend, so why stop now, right? So, after a Whole Foods run (where I meant to buy only fruit but with my "f it" mindset I also got guacamole (not bad on its own, but when you eat the whole 8 oz container...), some chips, and a Whole Foods burritto), I went to Starbucks where I got a breakfast sandwich and a beverage--it was a skim, sugar free cinnamon latte, so again, at least I made a slightly better choice than I might normally have--grande white chocolate mocha. That's bad enough, but I also ordered Thai for dinner and had spring rolls with it and pad see ew, as well as 3/4 pint of peppermint ice cream. Good lord.

As frustrated as I am with myself, I think I have learned some valuable things:

1. I need to figure out ways to battle that "I can get back on track tomorrow/I've already done poorly this weekend, so I may as well give up until Monday" mindset.

2. It did a great job of showing how bad my eating habits were prior to starting this process. What happened on Sunday used to be status quo for me, and looking at it, I'm horrified. It also showed me how quickly calories add up, even when it isn't all McDonald's and pizza.

3. That it is always possible to make better choices. Not necessarily good or best choices, but better choices. This is not a justification to do what I want and modify things a bit, but it is helpful to keep in mind that slow changes over time will in the long run help.

I also wrote all of this down with notes and observations, and am firmly back on plan today, with no desire (at least right now) to have any of those foods. The food just isn't worth the self-imposed guilt. While I don't feel better about what I did, I do feel better about putting it out there and being somewhat accountable, rather than just keeping quiet and pretending everything is fine.

[trooworld]

Hi Bobby. Cheese is my weakness, so I feel for you. And when I have too much alcohol, I forget I am on a diet and tend to overeat. I know you said your post is more of a confessional than anything else, so I won't try to give you advice (especially since I'm having a hard time myself). I know what you mean about the "f-it" mindset, I used to have that too. I used to blow it for one meal and then blow it the rest of the weekend thinking "I'll get back on track Monday". Well, come Monday, it was so hard to get back on track. I don't know why but I've gotten a lot better about it. Maybe because I am tracking everything in Fitday, I've been able to see that one meal won't kill me neccessarily. And I've been able to see exactly how many calories are in that binge. Good luck.

[Kilketay]

Everybody blows it once in a while. It's great that you've realized this is an opportunity to learn something about how to handle it better next time! You're learning from your experience, which means you'll be better at dealing with it in the future.

[gonnabelean]

Hey Bobbie.
I find it helps sometimes to just indulge in what you want, without the lower calorie/lower fat substitution. Your body knows what it wants and will keep craving it until you let in. When you enjoy the food, try to keep a positive mindset and savor every single bite. After all, what's the point of eating it if you feel sluggish and "bad" afterwards?