[Liliann]

Since I had started dieting in my teens, was successful twice with Richard Simmons and Slim fast..but during the years, the weight creeps back up and struggling. I had lost 200 Lbs in my previous dieting tempts.Was a gym nut, fitness videos goer and it was exciting that I was doing aweome.

Now things changed as am getting older..I have no clue on why I keep reaching for sweets so much. I live with my family and see junk foods all the time, which each day consider a holiday for me. I try on saying NO and do something else if I could not get online.. One of my sisters is only using the comp, so as she is on the comp and muching on junk foods.. I have no escape!!!

I have so many health, self help ,weight loss books from Dr. Phil, to Dr. Oz..I had counting calories, points, carbs fat in different times and just can't stick with it on no many how I tried. I know am not faithful with my self. I even tried fiber, which I read all the books on health that I have and read that fiberous foods controls hunger..which that was the least counting that I had done. It works for awhile, but kept eating junk and overdose on fiber, which now I know that wheat and to much fiber does not agree with me.. I never have problems with bowel movements, am always regular..

So, now am eating when am hungry of what food that my stomach and mind wants. I can't follow other people rules, just have to listen to my own and work my best to manage my weight loss efforts. I will never know why I keep overeating.. Have self help books that states my new change of eating..which it kinda helps, since I don't buy my binge foods anymore, but eating my family goodies. I do try to have fear of my binge foods, but even that does not help. I will always overeat, till my mind is stable on eating the right portions.

Since am working on saying NO to my red light foods.. I had started doing my fitness videos this weekend.

My mom and my sisters told me not to worry about my weight,..and just control myself with sweets and I will be fine. They also once told me not to count anything, or dieting per say. My family helps me and now I think they are tired of my struggles. I am now keeping my weight loss a secret till they noticed.

Thank you for letting me vent.. Have a great one..

[Jasmine31]

Your family annoys the heck out of me.

I will be blunt here. You need to sit down with them and ask them whether they want you dead or alive? I know ultimately it is YOUR body/your choice to eat healthy and I am NOT placing the blame on them. But get real, can't they help a sister out? My mom was diabetic and when I knew she was coming over, I once threw almost an entire chocolate cake out! Cause I knew she would want some and could not say no.

Can't they keep the snacks and crap for when they are out and let the house be a junk food free zone?

I am really worried about you and it is NOT easy having junk around. I am the one who shops and plans everything here(wife and mom of 5 kids) but I notice even with myself if I get something and "plan" to have a little, I don't, I go back and get more and more. I can't keep junk food I like in the house cause I will eat it. I get them stuff I can't stand. Like hot cheetos. Yuck! Or when I make muffins from scratch. I make banana nut, or blueberry and I am fine having one, maybe once a week but the second I add chocolate chips in, forget it. I once ate 6 in two days! NO MORE. Now I make them with the peanut chocolate chips. I won't touch them.

The point I am trying to get to is this weight can kill you Lillian and I think your family needs to take this more seriously.

[Heather]

I have a lot of control over exactly what is in my house, and it is STILL a struggle. I can't imagine trying to control my weight and avoid trigger foods constantly.

Jasmine may be on to something...

[Liliann]

Jasime.. I am grateful of your tough love response and concern..I really do like someone who is very honest and to the point and apprectie your concerns.

When I was losing successful in the past, I had a place to go when my family was eating thier bad foods. As I recall when one of my sisters eating her munchies.. I went to the local gym ,which was like my second home. My life long struggles starts every weekend. One of my sisters can eat and not gain an ounce..my mom controls her portions. So back then, this was in the 1980s and I had social support and a place to go ,instead of staying indoors and watch other of my family eat thier bad foods. I was in heaven!!!

Then I had a nervous breakdown in Summer of 99, which I gained all my working efforts back..My sister encouraged me not to eat the junk, but I was dealing deep depression and all. I was almost at goal, but till a mental health condition shattered my dreams. When I came home from the hospital in Decemeber 2000. My social workers and me had many heart felt talk to my familynot bringing junk foods in the house. Which my mom hides it, but what is the point when I know it is in the house and thinking of it all day long.

I even talked with my mom again of not buying junk foods, because am doing my best to lose weight. She is very supportive of my needs and when I talk calming, her response that it is her fault..which I told her no, it is my issue and knowing other family can't be punsihed. She buys it only for my thin sister, that does not gain..She knows my struggles and even seen weight loss shows on my struggles. She hides it,and it is peaceful for a week, but then weekends strikes, and my sister is home, that is when I lose it.

It is no way situation and I need to find a place that I can go, like I had in the past..but with me on being out of work and money is tight. I have no weight loss center near me, except for Curves, which I can't afford it..and do my exercise in my home .

Last year, my disabled sister had watch a show about obesity and the mental state can do..I had missed it, but she raved about it and understand my situation more better than my mom and other sister and brother. Why or what is eating us apart. Why I eat a half a gallon ice cream or binged on a dozen dounts in one sitting. Since am on meds for mental condition, I put the blame on my medication...but who knows.. It is hormones, since I never get my periods and still eating out of control. I can't do the blame game anymore.. am 40, and last year had a hernia surgery...so my family is deeply concerns of my efforts.. but need to talk to a therpaist or someone on what is eating me up.. Something that happened in my childhood past and won't let go of it..who knows. My family is 100 plus supportive!!

I have no escape and God is my witness on finding the missing link on getting healthy or stay healthy. I have a special man in my life, which he is diabetic and always lecture me on getting help with my eating disorder, because he and mysef don't want to get diabetes.

Besides the support on 3FC.. I need to really tough love myself and do my workouts more to keep me sane. I have no escape, since I care for my disabled sister and now my aging mother. I have responibilties now and with the strength that I have on preventing myself from health risks and also being in the hospital. I have 2 unhealthy habits, sweets and smoking...and my goal is to overcome those habits!!..ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!

[luja]

Meds like you are on can really make weight loss a lot harder which makes how much you've already lost even MORE impressive! You are doing great - keep advocating for yourself with your family. Is there a way your sister could keep the foods locked away somewhere? I don't know if there is a Y where you live, if there is check with them on sliding fee/reduced fee memberships. They usually have something like that available. Are there other things you could do to get out of the house - volunteer at an animal shelter walking the dogs?

[Jen415]

Liliann: Being a caregiver is SO difficult! But how can you take care of others if you don't take care of yourself??

And quite frankly, your sister is NOT supportive if she's eating junk in front of you. It would be like her drinking in front of you if you were an alcoholic.

I'm with you on the sweets though...SO EASY to just shove a dozen donuts down my piehole!! I have to struggle contstantly to not binge on candy bars or Little Debbies.

I think you are doing GREAT!!! Just remember to take care of YOU so you can take care of others!!

[Jasmine31]

Lillian my kids and I are on medical. (state medical)
When I took my eldest dd who is heavy she told me if I wanted I could get medical to pay for curves, I would just have to call them and prove I was going. I can't remember all the info. I am not interested in curves though(for myself) But if you are on a state medical type program you may be eligible for free is the point I am making.

Yes you need some tough love. I do care about you and both my paernts had diabetes and are now dead. It was not til they died when I realized what a terrible disease they both had and that it may of been preventable.

My mom also had hepatitis and cirrhosis and they would not do a transplant cause of the condition of her kidneys. My dad was on dialysis and lost a foot to being a diabetic. I could go on and on but the point is this isn't no joke. I know you know that.

We can make our own paths in life. If the road we are on is headed in the wrong direction, we can take a U turn.

Do whatever it is you need to do. Your life is worth it.