I have a very supportive boyfriend, who understands why I am on my weightloss journey. ((Although he does miss my big ol' booty))
He'll give up our only TV to me for an hour or so each night so I can do my videos or play DDR, etc... Does not complain about the meals I cook, actually he lovesss my cooking, no matter how healthy it may be.
But I am kinda worried about his health . I want to bring it up to him without seeming too "naggy" about it. He does complain from time to time about pants not fitting right, or his beer belly. But other than loosing some extra pounds, I think its more important for both of us to be healthy. He's usually super tired after work, and can sit on the couch and watch TV and nap for a couple of hours.
I think maybe he'll feel better if he were to start exercising. He will go on walks with me if I ask, and he even went jogging with me. Ok, the jogging thing only happened once, since its been tooo hot out, and now I usually do the one mile jog video inside. ((and 7am REALLY isn't an option to me, hehe))
But, he won't do any videos or DDR or the ellipitcal, and I just don't know what to say to try to get him up and moving. And his eating habits are pretty horrible, although I try and cook healthy things, he's always gotta add something to it that takes all the healthiness away, lol.
Any ideas of how I can bring it up in conversation without being really pushy? Or ideas of things that we can do together??
I often think about the same thing with my boyfriend, in the beginning he did everything with me, but now he goes to work and eats crap. I want to say something but at the same time I don't want to hurt his feelings - so generally I just keep my mouth shut.
If he makes a comment about his pants being too tight or something, usually in a joking away I will say something like "maybe you shouldn't eat so many cheesie!" and then we laugh...
Lead by example seems to be working for me. My husband is naturally thin, can eat whatever and not exercise, smokes, etc. I've only lost a few pounds but this time, since I have this board to peruse, I've only been worrying about me. So imagine my surprise this morning when I came back from my walk and he was working out on the Bowflex.
Just focus on you. I'll bet when he sees you getting fit and looking awesome, he'll get a bit worried about some competition and start taking care of himself.
well, this is only a suggestion and may not work... but you could try and make it seem like more of a desire on your part to simply have a 'diet buddy' to do everything with. like you're really desperate for more motivation. you could make it a friendly competition even - most guys like to win things (it's the ego). and it doesn't have to be who loses the most, it could be who did the most exercise in a given day, who can cook the best meal under X number of calories/fat grams... whatever. or you could suddenly take up a 'family' hobby that means getting him off his butt a bit more, whether he likes it or not... mountain biking, skiing, snowboarding, whitewater rafting, backpacking, rollerblading... anything, you can come up with it together, but make it come across like you just want a new hobby to enjoy together... (target has rollerblades for only $20 if money is an issue). and some of these suggestions you can't very well do alone... for all sorts of reasons, but mainly safety... so emphasize that... but if you decide on something that's really strenuous, you could suggest getting in shape together first as preparation.
i know what you mean about adding things that take all the healthiness away, my husband is the same way and it drives me nuts. he likes everything to be sweet (ick). but i have gotten him to actually eat veggies on a daily basis now... that's a huge improvement! if it's stuff like sauces he adds, you can make sure you only have low-fat, sugar free varieties on hand... /shrug
Ummmmm ... break your only TV? Sounds like he watches it quite a bit, if he'll give up the TV for an hour a night. Maybe you could ask him what his favorite physical activities are. I'd assume that eventually you can find something active that both of you would enjoy. Do you guys have bikes? Can you suggest a nightly bike ride or walk after dinner? Perhaps you could suggest the two of you get a gym membership, or take up hiking together.
As for food, let him add junk to his, but not to yours. As he uses up the junk, don't replace it or replace it less frequently, or with a healthier option. Switching from 2% to 1% milk, buying less fatty cheese or "forgetting" to pick up the Cheez-Whiz when you're at the store, ice milk or sherbet instead of full-fat ice cream, etc.
I offered to pack lunches for my ex (then BF) for work every day. He thought I was just being a good girlfriend, when really my ulterior motive was to spread a little less butter on his sandwich and get some veggies and fruits in his diet!
Good luck! I'd imagine you want nothing more for your honey than for him to experience the joy you are experiencing, but ultimately the choice is up to him. I think the best thing to do is just incorporate healthy habits and fitness into everything you do, and hope that some of it rubs off on him. I'd wait a few months before having a talk with him about it.
Ultimately, he needs to want to do it for himself--not because you want him to do it.
We've all seen people do things we wish they wouldn't do, e.g., smoke, drink too much, maybe use other drugs, eat unhealthy food, and so on. But after a point, after we've expressed our concern, it's kinda up to them.
But you could still encourage him to get more active with you. Extend the invitation! He'll say yes or no, but at least you offered.
I've been trying to get my BF to eat more fruit and veg, and was NOT winning that battle. This week I decided to buy some fruit and veg, cut it up and put it in containers in the fridge as soon as I got home. 4 days later, at least 3/4 of everything (celery, baby carrots, blueberries, grapes, pineapple) I packed up is gone. He tells me he's been throwing handfuls of them into containers to take for lunch.
I win!
Turns out that he mostly is too lazy to prep it himself and partly forgets about it if it's still "whole." If it's there and ready to go, he'll eat it.
I agree with the others about just not replacing the junk when he finishes it. If he really wants it, he'll go buy it, and you can deal with that then. If he's only eating it out of convenience, he'll stop if it's not there as a choice.
When I first started, my boyfriend claimed he would participate as well so we could support each other. He wasn't nearly as serious as I was though, he talked about fast food constantly and seemed annoyed when I was counting calories. He was convincing me to cheat too often and I actually gave up for a month or so but I had been happier when I had been dieting. I decided to put myself first (something I don't often do) and get back on track, I could only hope that he would follow my lead.
Once I gave up Pepsi and fast food, he stopped having them as well. He said it was because he felt bad having them around me. Then he started losing a little weight because he wasn't taking in nearly as many calories and he liked that. Now he's on board, we shop and cook together, go out walking around town, make goals, etc... He's even eating fruits and veggies for the first time since I met him.
...I guess this just turned into my story. As far as advice, be strong on your journey and hope he picks up the good habits. Anyone who is/has been overweight knows we won't start losing until we're ready.
I don't think you can do anything except hope that he decides to do it for himself. Think about it: if the roles were reversed and you were the one eating crap and not exercising, would it help to have him pressuring you about exercise and eating? Probably not. This is something that everyone has to figure out for themselves.
In fact, I think it's a good way to permanently damage or end your relationship. I did not tolerate comments about my weight or exercise (or lack thereof ) when I was overweight and I don't tolerate them now. Either accept me the way that I am or we're over. And I show my SO the same respect. Sure, I wish he'd exercise more and it might be nice not to have all his junk food in the house, but it's not my place to say anything about it.
I had a manager once whose wife forced him to eat healthy foods at home, so he just ate all his crap at work. If you don't let your boyfriend have the foods that he wants or you make him feel guilty about eating those foods, you're just going to force him to start eating those foods secretly. That's not healthy for him and it can lead to an eating disorder.
Instead of coming right out and saying 'Hey, you should exercise, your pants will fit better.", try getting him to join in with you more often. Tell him it helps when he does it with you, pushes you farther, keeps you motivated, etc. etc. But if he is not ready, you can't force it. Everyone figures it out in their own time. If this isn't his, that is okay.
It all depends on how your guy's brain works. Everyone is different. A couple things you can try:
Tell him his *** or legs look really good and ask him if he's been working out and not telling you. Then say you should work out together because you like to see him all hot and sweaty.
Tell him you want to try biking/rowing/boxing (something you haven't done before) and that you are afraid to do it alone. Ask if him if he'll try it with you.
ideas, please.
Sounds like he watches it quite a bit, if he'll give up the TV for an hour a night. Maybe you could ask him what his favorite physical activities are. I'd assume that eventually you can find something active that both of you would enjoy. Do you guys have bikes? Can you suggest a nightly bike ride or walk after dinner? Perhaps you could suggest the two of you get a gym membership, or take up hiking together. 
Sounds to me like he's got you doing food prep... 
