I put on about 30 pounds last year because of an amazing amount of stress and now I am trying to take it off. It's really hard because the stress continues and so easy to just say F' it I want pie!!!

sad, but true:

I lost my job in early 2006 and was out of work all summer. My father died from a 9 month battle with cancer exactly one month after my wedding in the fall. Since then I have had to take time off of work for dealing with the estate, I am an only child and my mother died 2 years ago. The lawyer we hired to handle the estate, because mt father litterally lived across the country from me, totally screwed us over and I am still trying to get some of my father's assets because of it. Now we are trying to buy a house.

When I say extreme and constant stress, I mean it.

It's so hard just getting through the day in one piece mentally and emotionally dieting has been horrid.

I have been doing South Beach for about a month and started the Ali pills yesterday because I need help!!!!

I'm not religious, and have no interest in it, so that coping mechanism is out. My husband has been quite wonderful but even he has his limits. I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with all this without another meltdown like the one I had in March... at the airport... or constanly wrapping myself up in a nice warm pile of fettucinni alfredo a few times a week.

Hey!

It sounds like you've got a lot to deal with. For what it's worth, it is possible to lose weight even when under great stress--but you have to be willing to make room for it. Only you know how you can accomplish that.

Exercise is a great stress reducer. Can you get a membership at a local YMCA or other center? Can you get an in-home treadmill or other machine? Can you purchase some exercise videos/DVDs to do at home? Gosh, can you take walks--near your home or in a park or at a shopping mall? Any or all of those would be a place to start.

It's easy to use food as a "drug" to make us feel better, but you know where that leads--many of us have gone that route. It's a tough habit to break, and you have to be ready and willing to do it.

Maybe it's not the right time for you to be embarking on a weight loss program! Maybe the best thing to start with would be trying to get enough control over your eating so that you aren't GAINING more weight--that in itself could take some effort.

Just a few thoughts--I'm sure others will have more ideas.

Good luck!

Jay

Hi - I'm sorry that you've had so much to contend with. I used to do this without realizing it, self-medicate with food. In the end I finally woke up to the fact that it didn't make anything any better, it just made it all worse because it was yet another thing to stress about. I am a very long way from being in control but I would say that when I watch what I eat I feel a lot calmer.

Thanks!!!

Exrecise is tough with my schedule and my bad joints but I hope to start next week again. I used to work out 3-4 times a week for 3-4 hours at a time lifting weights and bellydancing and riding a stationary bike while reading but it's so hard to get back into that with so much going on. I'm so emotionally drained it takes a herculean effort even when I schedule time.

Gyms and the Y are no-nos for me. I have social anxiety and can only go to those when I am already in shape!

We are planning on having a space for exercise equipment at the new... when we get one... the husband has weight issues and will only work out if I work out with him or find him an exercise buddy, heh. I, on the other hand HATE exercising with other people. Ooops. We are perfectly suited in ever other way though so that's ok!

There are times when I just feel like mindlessly eating, and I get sweet cravings. I combat them by not really combatting them. Yeah...that doesn't make sense so let me explain. LOL I keep fresh fruits in the house, like watermelon, pineapple, cantaloupe, honey dew, apples, oranges, strawberries. Sometimes I've eat whole personal watermelons. I feel bloated later, like when you've pigged out at a nice restaurant and wanna unsnap your pants. But at least it was low cal and so much water in there. It was MUCH better than pigging out on Hersheys. So if you can't fight the stress eating, try and keep things that you can substitute in those times that will make a difference even if you still engage in stress eating with those items.

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother and father. My dad is also battling cancer which was a shocker to all of us because he thought he had a cold and it turned out to be a brain tumor blocking his nasal passages, then he found out he has bone cancer with only a few years to live. VERY SHOCKING! He is only 56. My mom had breast cancer at 45. Dealing with these circumstances had actually motivated me to get into the best shape of my life because I don't want to have this happen to me in twenty years. I have been doing Healthy Inspirations, a great support, diet and excerise program, check them out. Good Luck!

My father died of stomach cancer in 1989. He had a cough for some time, plus his stomach was growing. Everybody thought he was just putting on weight and he didn't want to go to the doctor. By the time he did, it was too large a tumor and he was gone in 6 weeks. It was the first time I had to deal with death so directly. And there were also estate problems there (but they got dealt with quickly), plus my own ambivalence about his death because he was a very difficult, hurtful person-- in his life, I could see that he was a victim of circumstances in some ways but other things he brought on himself and made life not so great for those around him. He died at 61 and I always considered it ironic he died of cancer for 2 reasons: he was a construction worker so I imagined when he went it would be a work-related accident or something yet, because of his personality, the way things ate away at him emotionally and psychologically, it seemed oddly synchronous that he died of something that ate away at him physically.
Anyway....on to exercise......

I just got an inflatable punching bag (for about $21)...it gets my heart racing even when my lower half isn't moving all that much. Good for those times you feel like you wanna hit somebody. And your husband might enjoy it, too. It's sort of exercise, stress-reducer, coordination-aid and fun all in one. I'm not saying it's going to solve all the problems, only that maybe it will give you one possible relief outlet plus a workout at the same time. And you don't need to hook it up to anything. You just fill up the bottom with water and inflate the rest.

Hi Prinny,

It seems like this is one of those times when life really knocks you back several steps, and it is very very hard to find the extra strength inside yourself that is required to break your usual habits and make life even tougher by eating less and execising more. I've always found it next to impossible to get through stress without eating, or to come up with the extra energy to restart good eating/fitness habits when I feel beaten down by circumstances. And as someone who loves a warm fuzzy blanket of pizza when times get tough, I can really relate to your situation.

The fact that you have come here for support shows how strong you really are, even though you feel so fragile right now. Support is crucial to your success and will help keep you moving in the right direction, if you stick with us and don't get lost in the chaos that life is bringing you. And South Beach really helps with the cravings. I've been on it for almost 3 weeks and while I'm not losing much, at least I've stopped gaining too.

I also encourage you to get started moving your body in a fun way at least a couple times a week. Do you like to put on music and dance? How about a brisk walk in a beautiful place outdoors? Something that makes you feel really good but has the incidental effect of burning calories is the best way to get started. Exercise reduces stress and you really need that now.

Best wishes. Let us know how we can help.

L