OK, time for one of my rambles. I have lots of time to think when I run....
I see so many posts about "I failed..I might as well quit" "I screwed up" "It isn't working" etc. etc. etc.
In what other area of our lives would we set a huge goal that requires so much change and dedication and then give up at the first sign of trouble?
Losing weight is as much (or more) a learning process as it is will power or "a diet". We would never wake up one morning and say "I think I'll be a surgeon" walk into a hospital and start performing surgeries flawlessly. You wouldnt get off your couch one day and run a marathon, having never run before. But we expect to one day decide to lose weight and flawlessly convert to the plan that will make that happen.
Every stumbling block is an opportunity to learn more about how this works in OUR life. We have to study and train just like the surgeon or the marathoner. And we may have setbacks.
If you were going to be a surgeon, maybe your first step would be to go to college. You go to class one day and BAM there is a pop quiz that you were not expecting (i.e. a coworker brought in your FAVORITE dessert).
If you got a "B" on the quiz (ate one small piece) would you quit college and give up your dream?
How about if you got a "D" (ate the whole pan)?
What if you were so upset that you were unprepared for the pop quiz that not only did you fail it miserably (devoured the whole pan) but you then were so upset you went to the class you HAD studied for but failed a quiz there (and left your healthy dinner in the fridge while you binged on junkfood).
Would you quit college? Or would you figure out how to be better prepared. Would you take the knowledge that Professor Jerk likes to spring pop quizzes on you and stay on top of studying. Would you try to learn study techniques or relaxation techniques that help you leave that pop quiz behind when you get to class B. Would you remember that one quiz is only worth a few % of your grade and move on?
AT most you might decide that you need to drop that class and only that class for now and try again later. Thats what I did with parties. I decided after miserably failing to control my eating at parties to not stress about it. I control my eating the other 350 days a year and I figure when I master other areas, parties will still be there to work on. I'll get an "A" in parties my senior year, for now a "C" is good enough. I just focus on getting A's in all my other classes (every day living, exercise, dining out, grocery shopping and stress eating--ok I get a B there)
My ticker makes it look like I zoomed from 172 to 131 in 7 months or so....not true. The truth is I spent most of the 90's practicing at dieting and exercise. The truth is in the late 90's I started to GET exercise. I started to LIKE exercise, but then something would happen (illness, injury, job, stress) and I would fall off the exercise wagon. Diet I didnt get at ALL. I suffered through countless rounds of calorie counting starving all the way until I gave up.
After dd was born I really GOT the exercise part. I was hooked, and only injury stopped my and I got right back on. But that only got me from 186 to 160 And I tried South Beach, which, while not the PERFECT diet for me taught me a lot about how I respond to foods. (I still dont eat fruit with breakfast and I NEVER eat fruit alone--its just ME). But I never was able to make it happen while I was exercising faithfully. It really wasnt until this last stretch I was able to put together all the little lessons over the last 20 years of trying and have it happen.
And I still fail sometimes, and I still get it wrong some days and I still monumentally blow the pop quiz occasionally. And I still learn sometimes
I think you have a PhD about now! Interesting analogy and keep up the good work.
Last night I was looking through my stuff about diet and exercise. Some of it is from 1983 - I know that's probably before most of you were born. Anyway, I took notes, wrote journals, wrote recipes etc etc. It is all in a big binder like I had for college classes. I showed DH all my stuff and he said, "Did you learn anything?".........Hmmm.
I think what I learned is that I have to permanently change my eating habits. I can diet just fine. I even have some of the old food journals. I was eating 1000-1200 calories a day for a long time. The problem is, I go back to my bad habits. This time, I am eating more and not counting calories obsessively. My little rules: Eat real food. Control portions. I think eating real food (fruit, veggies, lean meat, whole grains, low or non fat dairy)has made a tremendous difference in how I feel. I pretty much know, after all this time, how much is too much of a good thing. So, I am loosing weight - not really fast, but not too slow either. I am happy with my progress.
I couldn't possibly agree with you more, ennay! Your analogies are spot-on; one mistake does not an entire failed existence make. We all need to strap in for the long haul, wrap our heads around the fact that this is for and about the rest of your life (difficult to do when you're 20!), and just keep pressing forward. One foot and one bite at a time.
Sometimes you are slogging along on the marathon and you take your eyes off the direction signs. By the time you start paying attention again, you may have wandered off course and are very close to the starting line. Nothing to do but get back on the path and move in the right direction.
My dh and I just celebrated our 15th anniversary. Got me thinking about where I want to be in 15 years....I'd like to be hanging out at the finish line.
Change is HARD! The recipe for weight loss is simple, but the doing can be full of barriers. I look at some of the tickers on here and I am so impressed. I would like to think it is easy for other people, but I know that those tickers tell a story of millions of choices, thousands of steps on that marathon. Some steps forward, some backward, and some marching in place.
I think a lot of people would benefit from reading it -- and also, I could find it easily when I need to tell this to people -- this is SUCH a common theme around here!
I just hope this doesn't scare people away from posting when they need help/guidance.. since this is the 'Support' forum and all, kwim? As much as I have lost, I still have moments where I feel like this is a waste of time or I can't do it, etc. I think that everyone does. 3FC is such a great community and all of our members are so inspiring and helpful.. I just don't want anyone to feel like others perceive their posts as 'whining' when they are really calls for help. As long as they're here in the Support forum, I expect to see them and hope that I can encourage them the slightest bit.
This post really hit home because it was from going to college that I realized I could lose weight too. I was not a traditional student. I had some major upheaval in high school (mainly my mom died when I was a sophomore) and to everyone’s horror I didn’t go straight to college. I ended up going back to school while working full time. I went nights and weekends. I took 2 years off while I was living in Toronto. In the end it took me 10 years to get my degree, but I did it.
I was sitting in the library one evening during my final semester. It was about midnight. I was working on a huge project that required major extra work. I had worked all day, gone to class and then I was there studying until late at night. I was going to go home and wake up and do the same thing again tomorrow. It struck me in that moment that if I had the drive and the will to put in marathon days like this and to constantly persevere over a long period of time then I could do exactly the same thing with weight loss. If I had thought when I started school that it was going to take me 10 years to finish, I’m not sure I would have, except that I knew it was something I needed to do for my career and that I would never have the financial ability to go full time. I realized that in the same way I couldn’t afford not to go to school, I couldn’t afford to not get healthier. Even if it takes me 10 years like my degree did, the important thing is that I get there in the end – not how long it takes me to do it.
It is a marathon, not a sprint
Thank you 
), and just keep pressing forward. One foot and one bite at a time.
