my name is stasia. I'm almost 16 and I weigh 260 about. I'm also 5"11. I can't fight off sweets, laziness, and controling my portion size. Every time I'm tempted, I give in. It's so hard. I never got through two weeks, and lately, not even a whole day. I try getting motivated by going on www.lhj.com and making a virtual doll of me with the shedded pounds, but I can't stick to it that way. I find myself more motivated by looking at skinny girls in magazine, even though I knwo that's not right. I'm not the type to push myself on my own, so I need a lot of support. No one seems to want to do it with me, so unfortunately, I am on my own. Where do I sart? Gooals? Tried many times. Food diary? I can't rememeber to write in it and I don't kno wwhaty to include in it. Any suggestions?
First of all, congratulations on reaching out - for recognizing that you need support. Secondly, you must believe that you are not failing! Failure means giving up completely. No one ever made it there on the first go, I certainly haven't. So as long as you are still trying, how can you say you failed?
All right, enough with the sugar coated support. Let's get down to it.
There is nothing wrong with looking at the skinny girls in magazines, as long as you keep it real. Look at their body shape and size, not the perfect (airbrushed) skin, nor the glamourous make-up and hair. I have a picture of my ideal shape on my bathroom mirror - it reminds me of what I'm trying to acheive. As a bonus - when I cut out the picture, I took off her head. No amount of dieting will change your natural features, so it's no good to want her perfectly shaped nose, or those eyes that are beautifully coloured, perfectly shaped, perfectly spaced eyes. You have your own natural beauty that will emerge with the weight loss.
Weight loss is hard. There's no doubt about it. As soon as you can accept that losing weight will be a challenge (that is worth it in the end,) the sooner you will be able to motivate yourself to do it. I could give you all kinds of platitudes - like "this doesn't taste as good as skinny feels" to help you, but I'm sure you've heard them all before. What I honestly believe you need is a PLAN. (yes, another 4 letter word) And make sure it's not vague. The more concrete you can make your plan, the easier you can see where you've been sidetracked, and the faster you can correct it.
Journalling and such help - but only for those people who find it helpful. Not every trick will work for everyone. You need to find what works for you. If you don't like writing stuff down, look up fitday.com - it has wonderful tools to help you keep track.
I'm 30 years old, and like you was heavy throughout high school. I had all kinds of goals - be skinny by 21, then it was skinny when I got married. Oops. Didn't make either. But, I'm still trying. I've learned lots of things along the way, and although I'm not there yet, I have a better idea of how I'm going to get there.
Keep going girl. You can make it. Everyone here would love to be able to help you on your journey. There are all kinds of plans to check out, but your ideas for portion sizing and healthy choices sound like you are on the right track. Make some concrete daily plans - drink 8 glasses H2O, eat only one helping at dinner, whatever works for you.
Check in here often. We've all been there and we know how hard it is. It may seem like you are alone in this journey, but really, there's a whole world of people just like you out here. Please feel free to PM me anytime. I promise to check in everyday, and I would love to be a support buddy for you.
Laura G gave you some great advice, and I am happy for you too - for joining up, posting, reaching out and sharing your feelings.
Are you able to get rid of the tempting/bad foods in your house and replace it with more healthy - weightloss friendly foods? Are you able to get a little bit of exercise every day, a walk, etc...?
Have you seen a doctor for some help with your weightloss?
Well first of all, you found this site, so you are definately not alone. We have all been there, done that, still doing that.
Given that you are 16, i assume you are living with your parents? Are they supportive? Are they overweight as well?
Think of it this way, if you keep on like you are doing will you be thinner or bigger in a year? Then ask yourself, which would you like to be in a year?
At 16 i was about your weight AND about your height. I am very tall too. I know it is hard. Buckle down now and you can spend the rest of your life in a body you are happy, healthy and confident in. The best advise i can give is, you cant think of it as a "diet". You have to realize, you are different than those girls that can eat and eat and still be stick thin. You have to CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE. Find a lifestyle you can "live" on for life. Like for me, i count calories. I cant do those LA Weight loss and Atkins plans, some people do great on them. I HAVE TO have a plan that i can have a little bit of every thing on. The second you tell me "YOU CANT EVER HAVE THAT AGAIN"...i instantly want it even more. So with counting calories...pizza night? Sure, i will have two peices of veggie pizza. Birthday cake? Sure, i can have ONE small peice of birthday cake. Find something that works FOR YOU.
Location: Southeast Asia. That's why my postings look like middle of the night.
Posts: 168
S/C/G: 178/177/??
Height: 5' 3.5"
Looking for support is a great step. Support makes everything one
notch easier, but I think that that one notch is from "nearly impossible"
to "just barely possible". It's all terribly hard, but at least we can
go through it together.
Things are particularly complicated for you if you're living with your
parents. There are lots of different factors I don't want to make
assumptions about unless you explain more. You might find that a
support group helps give perspective about social and family issues,
if that's something you're looking for.
We all have a lot to learn about ourselves during our lifelong
struggles with food. All the factual knowledge about nutrition
and exercise physiology
and diet philosophies need to be "learned" in the context of knowing
one's body, knowing one's own mental and emotional self, and having
tried lots of different things over and over. It's educational and
valuable to try and try again and keep trying. Even if you regain the
pounds, nobody can take away what you've learned about yourself
or your new skills -- whether it's how to lift weights safely, how to
cook with less oil, or maybe most importantly, getting better at
predicting how far you can push yourself before you cause a nasty
backlash.
I hope you can look positively and favorably on your past efforts to
lose weight and improve your fitness.
If you don't feel very confident or ready to push yourself onto a highly
ambitious weight loss plan, you might think about modest plans
with goals like 1-2 lbs/month, which really is quite a small fraction
of total body weight. Since this is a lifelong battle, any time you're
moving in the right direction, you should give yourself some credit
for the eventual victory that you'll achieve in the long run. Another
reason modest plans are good is because after a few months of
modest success, you may become more ready (mentally and
emotionally and in your knowledge of how to push yourself) that
you might be ready to succeed with a slightly more ambitious plan,
and so the slope of weight loss can gradually get steeper.
Just remember that if you increase exercise, you'll build some muscle
initially, which seems like a weight gain on the scale, but it's a good
kind of "gain" because all the muscles will be burning calories day
and night even if they're inactive, so don't let it discourage you.
Stasis,
Yeh! for you taking a step in the right direction. I agree with all the above Wannabes, it is hard, but you have taken the first step, you have asked for support. For me removing all tempting foods in the house has helped my whole family, even if I am the only one overweight. Another thing that has helped me, is the support that I get from my kids to walk, and to exercise. There are some days, that I just don't want to do it, and I do, because I know that in a year, if I keep eating right ( whatever works for you )I will be lighter and happier. You are so young, so take one day at a time, set small goals, that can be reached easier. If you don't have support at home, with removing attempting foods. My Aunt lossed 60 lbs by eating off a saucer, she didn't want people to know that she was trying to lose weight, and it worked. She ate everything everyone else did, just less. The best to you, you have so much support here, check in with us, and remember one day at a time, Yeh, your first step, congrats. Patti
Stasis,
My Aunt lossed 60 lbs by eating off a saucer, she didn't want people to know that she was trying to lose weight, and it worked. She ate everything everyone else did, just less. Patti
Hi I'm a newbie here as well and I'm going to do something like that coz i don't have much control over what my roommates cook and I cutting out certain types of foods won't work for me. I'm going to use a small bowl to eat from. Sounds like a cute, simple & commonsensical idea.
Hi Stasia! First off, Welcome to 3FC!!
I remember what it was like when I was 16, and overweight, and couldn't control anything. And no one wanted to help. It sucks! I was in the same boat! And sort of, still am. I'm 20, and 228lbs, I've tried and failed so many times its unbelievable! But I'm not going to let it get me down this time. Thats the positive attitude you need to take! Just tell yourself that you will make it happen this time. Of course we'll have our bad days, but everyone does. Don't give up!!
My suggestion to you would be to try to take baby-steps with your diet/exercising plan. I'm trying this myself, and finding it much easier to make a couple small changes in my life, and add a couple more changes or become more strict with others each week, than just starting off full-bore. It doesn't seem so overwelming, and you'll feel good about yourself because you'll find it easier to stay on track.
Hey, Stasia. I just wanted to let you know I'm in the EXACT same boat as you are. (I'm 17.) It's hard, isn't it? And I don't have any better advice than what the people above gave you. If you ever want to talk you can PM me or w/e-anyway, good luck!
newbie failing:more or less
