I need some tips to help me stay focused & motivated
HELP!!!
I need some tips to help me stay focused and motivated.
Would some of you please share with me what keeps you on track. For the last year I've been eating healthy for 3 days then bingeing for a week then starting this cycle over again and again and again. I gained 60 lbs this past year; the 40 lbs I had lost the previous year plus 20 lbs.
HI sweetie,
I know how you feel. I gained a lot of weight after my daughter, lost 42 pounds, then found out I was pregnant again-so I am doing it all over!
I have had to watch my weight all of my life so it does not get out of control, and i have learned a zillion tips.
*keep track of what you are eating-any method-counting calories, weight watcher points, Richard Simmons food mover, anything to keep what you eat in check. Never go below 1200 calories though.
*A way I have found that keeps me motivated is to keep an unflattering picture of you at your present weight on the refridgerator-you have to look at yourself everytime you get in there.
*I am a food lover with a terrible sweet tooth, so I have to substitute. If I crave a milkshake-I have a Slim-fast and a few ice cubes in the blender. Instead of a 250 calorie candy bar, I have a Hershey kiss and suck on it rather than chew it, etc.
*You can eat pizza, fast food, etc. the key is to have a calorie book or go to the restaurant web sites and check out what items have the lowest calories.
*make yourself a little note to keep in your purse. Tell yourself how you want to look, why you are unhappy with yourself now, what you would like to wear when you are thinner,etc. Take it out and read it when you are tempted to binge.
*Eat dinner on a dessert plate. You will look like you have such a full plate! It's a mind thing.
*Substitute when cooking for your family. I use Light Velveeta shells and cheese over the regular and they don't know the difference.
*Stay busy. If you like to munch in front of the tv-chrochet, knit, chew gum-it helps avoid mindless eating.
*Counting calories/points may seem like a hassle at first, but soon you will memorize a lot of foods you eat often, and you won't have to look them up, just write them down.
*Reward yourself for every victory-not just when you lose all of the weight. I like to buy myself a new workout tape, makeup item, or a scented candle for every 3-5 pounds lost.
*Think of an event coming up you would like to look good for-a family function, reunion, wedding, shower-there is always something coming up, even if it is just a Tupperware party! Even if it is in a week or two-you can be a pound thinner by then.
*Don't cheat yourself! Don't say-I've only lost 2 pounds! Pick up a weight or a can that weighs about 2 pounds-it is more substantial than you think!
*Excercise! Even if you just walk, every bit counts! Mop your floors, dust that furniture!
Hope this helps you!
Aphil
202/200/160
Planning - having a game plan is so important...if you plan ahead, you are far less likely to stumble along the way. Every night, WRITE DOWN exactly what you plan to eat and your planned workouts for the next day, and keep them with you. After you eat each planned meal, check it off. Same with exercise. Find a program you can stick to with lots of support (you can get a ton of support here on 3FC by the way!). Stay away from the pills and infomercial stuff - none of it works for long-term weight loss except to make your wallet skinnier!
Setting Goals - Instead of saying "I want to lose 40/50/100 pounds" you are much better off setting smaller goals. Give yourself a time frame - since I'm on the Body for Life program, I set goals in 12 week cycles. For example, pick the day you plan on starting your program, then set goals for 12 weeks. For example: "In 12 weeks, I would like to be down 3 dress sizes, and be able to walk 2 miles in 20 minutes". (Note here that I'm not using scale weight as a goal - the scale is what crushes most people and it is FAR from being a motivational tool!)
Honoring Self-Promises - This would probably come under "planning". When you write down your planned menu and workout for the next day, you are making a promise to yourself to stay on your program for that day. Pam Brown, who went from 244 pounds in January 2000 to a size 4 by August 2001, says this about honoring self-promises:
Quote:
Probably the most important thing I did to succeed throughout all of my challenges was I honored my self promises. This helped me tremendously. Honor self-promises! Bill says in his book,” Would you trust someone who repeatedly lied to you? Of course not" The promises you make to yourself are the most important ones to keep. I was lying to myself for years saying that I would get in shape and eat right. My confidence was at an all time low because I didn't trust myself. Now, I make little promises to myself all day long and I keep them! What a confidence booster to do this day after day after day. Sounds simple, but if you really do it, and do it daily, it does wonders for your self-esteem. Try to start out small and just make 3 easy promises to yourself and keep them. Take it day-by-day and sometimes hour-by-hour. I found that if I thought about the entire 12 weeks, I ended up feeling like I couldn’t do it. But if I just focused on one day at a time, I knew I could get through one day!
Persistence - Losing bodyfat and becoming lean and fit (I refuse to use the word "thin"!) is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. You have to keep on keepin' on, because if you let the plateaus get to you, evenutally you'll just give up. This is one of the major reasons why 95% of the people who try to lose weight give up. You've gotta have PERSISTENCE!
Motivation - SO important - easy to get, hard to keep (especially when trying to lose a LOT of bodyfat - believe me I know). One key that has worked for me so well in the past is keeping a personal journal. So often, many of us eat not out of hunger, but from boredom, frustration, depression, etc. Get yourself a journalbook (they're not expensive - I bought a bunch of spiral-bound ones at Old Navy for about $2.50 each) and keep it somewhere handy (I keep mine on my nightstand). Whenever the urge for "emotional eating" strikes you, grab your pen and book and write! So what do you write - whatever comes to mind. Your hopes, your fears, your dreams, your goals...
Again, Pam Brown (ya gotta see her before and after pix at www.leanandstrong.com) says about motivation:
Quote:
I stayed motivated by reading all the muscle magazines and by listening to the Body for Life cassette tapes in my car when I drive. I listened to those tapes for 10 months straight whenever I put my key in the ignition. My cassettes are just about worn out!!
I did a lot of visualization. I found a picture in a magazine of the body I wanted to have. I pasted my head on the picture and looked at it frequently. Believe it or not, I exceeded my expectations and now have a better physique than the model!! I visualized myself running on the beach with the body I wanted to have. I visualized every muscle, how I felt, the scent in the air, how the sand felt on my feet, the expression on my face, etc… At first this visualization was hard because I was no where near this body, but as I got closer and closer, it became easier and easier to do this visualization. Later, I visualized myself on the bodybuilding stage receiving my trophy. How wonderful it is to live out your dreams!!
I also play a lot of mental games with myself. I repeat the following things to myself during my workouts when I feel like giving up:
“I’m building my body for life, lean, firm, strong”
“How bad do you want it, Pam?”
“No compromise”
“I will not be denied”
“Someone out there is working harder than you, Pam”
“Who do you want to be, an athlete or a fatty?”
I have also gotten myself to the gym by telling myself that I will do a lighter workout. Then when I get there I decide to do a hard workout. Then I tell myself that I will do my hardest workout. Sometimes I would play tricks like that during cardio too. I would tell myself that I will cut cardio short and only do 5 intervals. Then I would get to 5 intervals and tell myself to do only 2 more intervals, then I would tell myself only one more and then finally just complete the whole 10.
I used a “star” reward system. Every day I would reward myself with colored star stickers for what I had done. The stars represented different things:
Red – Did you complete your workout?
Green – Did you eat “on program” (no cheating)?
Silver – Did you drink all of your water?
Gold – Did you think positive thoughts of yourself?
Every night I would look forward to the “reward ceremony” I had for myself. It really affected my decisions during the day. If I was tempted to cheat, I thought about how I wouldn’t earn my star that day if I cheated. You may want to set up a reward system such that when you have 3 weeks of 4 star days you buy a new outfit for yourself or something. I recommend that you reward yourself for “doing” not for “the scale weight”. Your effort and consistency is more important than what the scale says.
I NEVER LET THE SCALE SET MY MOOD FOR THE DAY OR WEEK!! In fact, I try to weigh myself as little as possible. Remember, you are building muscle! Not only do you build muscle but you increase the density of your bones, increase the fluid in your blood, and muscle weighs a lot more than fat! Try not to let it affect how you feel about yourself.
Every day when I wake up I ask myself, “Who do you want to be today, Pam?” I make a conscious decision to be a healthy, fit individual rather than a lazy, fat person. Whenever I have a tough decision to make throughout the day I ask myself, “Pam, will this take you closer to or further away from your goals?” Then I have my answer on whether I should do it or not.
Thank you and Congratulations on your results and comment with BFL.
I did a 12-week BFL Challenge Aug-Nov 2000. Went from 202 lbs 34.4% body fat to 162 lbs 19.8% body fat. I have my "Winner's Certificate of Achievement" for successfully completing the Body-for-LIFE Challenge 2000 stating "This puts you in an elite category - surpassing the achievements of 94% of all competitors who entered the challenge." I have my before and after pictures and there is so much difference but I still felt I looked like a hippo. I was at 117 lbs four years ago, so to me 162 was just as bad as 202. I hated the way I looked and felt it was going to take forever to lose 40 more pounds. This was a little before Thanksgiving 2000 - 1 year ago. I am now at 222 and would die to be at 162 again. I can't seem to keep from bingeing more than 3 days in a row. I know what to do and how to do it, but I can't seem to do it. I am hoping someone will say that "One Thing" that will "Click" and get me back on track.
Thanks for listening.
Hi Faith,
I know what you mean about being small and wishing you were smaller, then being really big, and wishing you were at the weight you once thought was big!
Really though, is 120 a realistic weight for your body type/frame? I have a friend who is a model and weighs only 113-she has no shape whatsoever-no breasts, no rear end, nothing.
I have read all about Body for Life-congrats on completing the program challenge last year. I have read a zillion of Mrs. Jim's posts on a lot of threads and know a lot about it. I calorie count and try to eat protein with my carbs, but do not commit to the 6 mini meal a day thing. My exercise routine is similar to BFL, with a lot of strength training-I have learned a lot from my stepfather who is a former bodybuilder-but my diet is not as planned and rigid.
I had gestational diabetes with my pregnancies, so it is really second nature for me to mix protein and carbs-if I eat sugars without any protein I have shakes and nausea form my blood levels.
I find this works for me. I also reward myself by "doing" as Mrs. Jim would say, but I also reward myself for the scale, or pants being too big, etc.-something tangible for me, as I cannot go around checking my body fat percentage and running marathons with a baby and a toddler. Different strokes-do what works for you!
As far as mentioning the thing that makes your desire to get fit "click"-mine has been after both children, an unflattering picture taken of me with my baby.
Hope you get motivated soon...
Aphil
Feel free to lurk & post at the Body For Life thread here on Diet Plans!
Also, you **MUST** read Pam Brown's story...how she has gone from 244 lbs to a size 4 at 144 lbs. I find her SO motivational! Most of us BFL gals here at 3FC also lurk/post at www.leanandstrong.com where you can find Pam's story - and a host of others (including photos).
Originally posted by aphil As far as mentioning the thing that makes your desire to get fit "click"-mine has been after both children, an unflattering picture taken of me with my baby.
Wish that would do it for me. I have a 3 year old and have very few pictures of us together, which is very sad. I keep telling myself I need to lose the weight to have a healthy and long life for him, but even that hasn't worked.
aphil, I want to Thank you and MrsJim for all encouragement. From all that the two of you have said something is bound to "Click" eventually.
MrsJim, I have seen and read about Pam. She reminds me of me in reverse order of course. Hopefully I will see "that me" again.
I am starting to believe I may need a Dr's help with this depression and then deal with the weight. This is day two of healthy eating AGAIN and I took a short walk earlier, I'll keep you posted on how things go.
I will continue to read and reread everything that has been posted and we will see if this "fog" will lift.
What an inspiring thread! I really needed to hear some of this stuff and it is great! I did some of these very things to get my house organized, for instance, made small pormises like, "today I only need to clean one bathroom etc"..and I somehow took the whole overwhelming job of getting my house organized and made it obtainable...I did so well from Jan to June of 2001 and lost 42 lbs without even trying but I have been gaining and losing the same 0.8 lbs for 6 months...I really need to get my butt in gear...35-40 to go..thanks for all the wisdom! Liz in Canada
P.S. Faith how are you doing? You sounded so sad when you last posted.
Faith,
I hope the fog will lift for you soon. Are you having other things in your life that are causing you stress/depression. Sometimes overeating is a side effect-I find I am an emotional eater.
Take it one day at a time-take a small walk each day, and drink your water. When you start to feel a bit better, take it a step further-start watching your diet more, slowly add another form of exercise once a week like a video just dancing at home to your stereo.
It is easier to make these changes slowly than to jump in full force-especially when you aren't that motivated.
People go from eating 3000 calories a day and doing nothing to eating 1400 and doing a 3 hour workout meant for someone already in great shape and wonder why they are starving and are too sore to get out of bed! That is the quickest way to give up!
Write in your journal everything you like about yourself and why you are worth doing this. Do you have great hair? beautiful nails? a pretty singing voice? Are you a good listener? I am sure you are a good mother-start there. Read these things when you feel down, or feel you are not worth all of this work.
You will feel better.
Mrs. Jim-I will check out the BFL board now and then-thanks! Let's get this woman motivated!
APhil
Faith, YOU CAN DO IT! You can become the "you" you want to be. One hour at a time, One day at a time. I don't post much but I'm always lurking and this board has helped me more than words can say. You have taken the first step, just keep taking it one step at a time.
"The most important exercise anyone can do is reaching down and lifting others up" that was taken from a BFL calendar.
Here's a 'quick' link to "Pam Brown's Awesome Transformation"
Two years ago today I began a life changing journey.
Two years ago today I put a timed camera on a shelf, painstakingly squeezed a size 24 body in a size 14 two piece suit and took pictures.
Two years ago today I swallowed my pride and allowed a stranger to pinch me in places I didn't even like to touch myself.
Two years ago today I faced life straight on, accepted responsibility for my position in life and vowed to change.
Two years ago today, my inner self was a new person living in a 244 pound body.
Two years ago today I could barely complete my workout.
It's been two years to the day that I decided to change my life. This time I was not going to try a short cut method, a starvation diet, a temporary fix... I decided to change the way I was living for life. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and begin living again. I decided that no amount of tears was ever going to change my circumstances... only I could change.
I set out on a journey to prove it could be done. Not to prove it to my mom or dad, not to prove it to the scoffing personal trainer, not to prove it to my neighbor, but to prove it to myself.
I owed it to myself to give myself the respect I deserved. I owed it to my family to be full of life again. I made a vow to myself that I would honor my promises to myself... no matter how small.
Did I think that I would lose 114 pounds of fat? No. Did I think that I would inspire others? Maybe. Did I think that I would compete in a bodybuilding event? Not a chance! Did I think that I would have an 8 page story in a magazine? No way!! Did I dream about those things? I most certainly did.
I am overwhelmed with emotion right now as I think of where I started... with no hope... complete despair... health issues... no energy. Now life has no boundaries!! ANYTHING is possible!! Not only have I completely changed my body, but I have completely changed my mind as well. I used to be sooooooo mentally weak. Now my mind is like a steel vault!! Whatever I decide to do is a done deal! Nothing can stop me.
My new passion in life is to help others change their lives. I know how gut wrenching, how painful it is to have no hope, to be looked at as a failure, to not trust yourself. I want to show that no matter what the circumstance there is a way out. There is hope. My heart just aches for those that have not discovered this.
Wherever you are in your journey, there is hope. Keep on dreaming the impossible dream and you may one day discover that it really wasn't an impossibility afterall.
I am so proud to be a part of this community. You all have lifted me up when I was down, celebrated with me, laughed with me, supported me, and wowed me with your accomplishments. Thank you to all of you!! Thank you to Erik for having the vision for this community. Thank you to Bill for having a dream.
This has been the most challenging and rewarding 2 years of my life... and the journey continues!!
As far as binging - first thing I would do is a little environmental control...clean out your kitchen of ALL the food that is calling to you.
There's a little book called "Diary of a Fat Housewife" by Rosemary Green that is mostly pretty depressing to read - but she did have a few good tips in the back of the book. "Practice Environmental Control" was the best one. Ms. Green writes:
Quote:
After 20 years I faced the fact that I simply can't control myself once the maple bar is in my hand. At that point, it is not my fault if I eat it. It is literally beyond my control. Like the alcoholic sitting at a bar with his favorite drink in front of him, once that stupid maple bar is in my hand, I am a goner. But...I did have control before I bought the greasy sucker. Or before I walked into the store. Or before I got out of my car. Or before I stepped into my car...that is where willpower must be applied! When the first wicked thought of excess calories enters the brain - that is the place to nip it!...
I started practicing self-defense by cleaning out my environment...I discarded any overly tempting, patently unhealthy foods: potato chips, candy, pastries, most crackers, ice cream, and nuts.
WAIT! I alread knowo what you're thinking: "But I can't throw away money like that, and besides, my children need treats." To which I reply "Phooey!" This will be the best-spent money you have ever known! If the tempting garbage food is in your home - you will eat it. It is that simple..."The Arm's Length Rule: If it is within arm's length...you will eat it." You are not a bad person to eat it, but you are a stupid person to have it in your home. Really now, who needs potato chips? Who is healthier for eating potato chips? Do you honestly want your sweet babies to put those grease-laden, unhealthy morsels into their beautiful little bodies? Do you actually want their precious little arteries becoming clogged with life-taking plaque? ..."We need to think of a French Fry...as a cigarette!"
To which I add this killer thought - think of what we do at Christmas, Valentine's Day, and Easter: "Here, my darling child, with your beautiful, healthy little body, here's a special chocolate treat. It's made from 50% grease and 50% sugar...I love you!" That doesn't sound like love to me! What chance do those children have at staying trim and healthy? Why do we do what we do when we know what we know? I mean, any decent parent would be appalled at the prospect of offering their child a cigarette or a drink of beer. Why? Because it is unhealthy for them! But it's somehow okay, perfectly acceptable, to offer them globs of fat. So, cleaning out your environment will benefit anyone who lives under your roof!
But beware! Do not throw those garbage foods into the garbage can...we both know they are too easily retrievable. Okay, here's one of my favorite lines - think it over carefully: Grind them or flush them...or you're going to wear them.
Even though I suspect that Ms. Green has been unable to maintain her weight loss (three letters I sent her went unanswered; the promised sequel has never been released; others on Amazon.com have tried to contact her unsuccessfully, etc.) I still think that is a great thought! (be warned that the book is a real downer).
Boy that book does sound like downer! I myself have a husband who refuses to let me clean out his favorite foods-so I have learned to live with them by having healthier alternatives. If he has butterd popcorn-I have air popped. If he orders Pizza Hut, I make sure he orders a small order of pasta and marinara for me,etc.
I try to keep myself in check in restaurants, family functions, etc.
I think about what I can have before I get there-that way I don't have to look around and order something on impulse. It is impossible for me to avoid these situations-so I have learned to deal with them.
It has always been a tradition in my family to give candy filled stockings along with presents at Christmas, and the last couple I have requested meal replacement bars to be put in mine.
Almost every food you love can be made healthier and lower in calories and higher in nutrients. There are many healthy cookbooks available-I urge you all check them out and make a dish your family enjoys, but using a healthier recipe-it is great to be able to eat the same thing your kids are eating!
Another motivational tip is to have someone take a picture of you standing each month-date it and keep them in your journal. As each month progresses, you can look back and see how far you have come!
Take care,
Aphil
I want to thank all of you so much for the kind words and all the inspiring info!
I printed everything out and I'm keeping it close at hand for continued rereading.
I'm feeling much better today. I haven't binged and the scales were down 5 lbs this morning. I know it's only water loss and that on any given day our weight can fluctuate 3 to 5 pounds but it still put a smile on my face.
My 3 year old finally made it "click" for me yesterday that I have to get this weight off NOW. I had to go by new jeans and sweat pants because of those "thigh holes" all my pants have due to rubbing together. We were in a dressing room with a long bench seat and he sat at the far end and moved the pants I had laid down into his lap. I asked him why and he said so you can have a place to sit, you've got a big butt. He said it so innocently, he has never made any mention of my size before. At that moment I realized how painful and embarrassing it is going to be for him in the next few years when his school friends say something about his Mommy being fat or when he realizes it himself and doesn't want me to be seen. His nickname for me has always been "Barbie". He came up with that himself the first time he saw a Barbie doll, he said it looked just like me. Well, it's time I got myself back to "Barbie" size. I got out my old BFL food and workout journals and my 117 lb "Barbie doll" looking pictures. I am NOT going to let my son suffer the humiliation of having a fat mommy!
Thanks again to all of you.
This is just the beginning of the "NEW" me!
I am so happy for you Faith!
I am glad you are using the comment from your son in a positive way. We can do this together. Feel free to post on my thread I mentioned earlier, as well as BFL.
I want to hear from you and see how you are doing. Feel free to leave me a private message here. My weight gain has also been from my children, and we have a lot in common we can share.
Aphil
I need some tips to help me stay focused & motivated
,
Stop by the BFL thread anytime!!!
