If you count all the people who have ever been on this website who feel the same way you do - I bet we'd lose count after a few thousand!! "Been there, done that" has such a meaning here!! Take a few deep breaths, and then get to the task at hand. You goofed -- it's over -- and it's time to start again. I find when I binge/splurge I start to doubt my ability to lose weight, my "gung ho gets up and goes, etc." It would be great if the people around us completely understood where we are and could give us the support we need, but rarely does this happen. Don't feel like therapy is not an option, having working for psychiatrists/psychologists let me tell you, there is no prejudgement going on their -- if you think it would help -- do it. If there is anything that you could possibly do that might help you on your journey to the "new you" -- do it -- There is no one who can do it for you, you need to be ready to give it your all!! We all slip up here and there, the important step is to just get back on track and start all over again!!
Good luck to you -- you can do this -- check out some of the goal photos -- I'm sure most of them have felt the low you are in right now, but still continued on to lose 100 pounds!!!
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time! It seems to me that maybe Jenny Craig isn't working for you. I can't imagine being required to eat frozen food for every meal! That can certainly lead to binges! Can you consider other plan options? I personally like calorie counting--you can eat everything, but you have to do it in moderation. It's good training for maintenance.
I think most of us here at 3FC can DEFINITELY understand you, that's for sure.
Having said that, it's really tough to know just what to say to you. I will say this. You are certainly NOT disgusting. Being overweight does not take away WHO you are and what you stand for. It doesn't make you a bad person or a good one for that matter. Your weight does not determine your self worth.
You say you want to be thin so badly. I always felt I wanted to be thin so badly too, but realized I didn't want it badly ENOUGH. Yes there are sacrfices involved. Yes there is work involved. You have to decide if you are willing to do the work and if you are willing to give up the high quantiy/high calorie of food in the hopes of GAINING a fitter, healthier and most likely happier you. You say you have this bad habit that won't go away. Habits CAN indeed be broken. They can be replaced by new and better ones. Healthier ones.
You mention you don't know where to start. Maybe start by just making some small changes. Instead of steak, pasta and baked potatoes, have grilled chicken and some vegetables. Make the decision at each and every meal to eat better then you ordinarily would have. Make the decision to no longer drink high calorie drinks such as beer. You said the food tasted good. Well it did, for a few minutes anyway. And now you feel lousy. Not so good afterall. Maybe try and think about how you will feel AFTER you eat. Ask yourself is it really worth it? Remember that every time you pass up on the "bad" foods you are one step closer to being thinner. Try adding some activity to your day. Even if it's just a 30 minute walk. When you start piling up some good food decisions on top of another you will start to see some results. These good results will propel you and motivate you to keep going.
Food does not have to control you. You DO have control over it. Make the decision every time you eat. Be AWARE of what you are doing. Think of the longterm consequences, not the immediate satisfaction. That satisfaction is over in no time at all. Should you remain commited to a healthy diet, THOSE actions will have positive longterm effects on your life.
I too was wondering, maybe Jenny Craig isn't exactly what would work for you? I mean, if I knew I had to eat frozen meals all day long, I too would feel very easily tempted by other foods (and I'd try to find every kind of rationalized excuse to get them, haha). I know it may seem easy and right at first, without the need to plan and think about what to eat, but since the weight loss thing is different for each of us, sometimes what seems right on the paper isn't what we actually need. For instance, I did well for a few months on the Montignac plan (that's the French thingthat spawned Sugar Busters, if I'm not mistaken), and I still pretty much agree with the whole glycemix index theory, but in the long run, dissociating foods was annoying--what if I wanted veggies and meat for dinner, and not necessarily a carbs-only meal? Feh.
If you look at it more deeply, do you feel that Jenny Craig is the right thing for you? (You're not a failure if you realize it's not!) Do you feel like you can keep this up for weeks, months, a year or two? Or would you feel more thrilled by good, healthy food you can prepare yourself at home? I always see two sides to those 'pre-packaged' plans--easy on the one side, and guilt-trippy on the other: if you don't eat their meals, then it may quickly entail feelings of failure about 'having fallen off the wagon already', and nobody engaged on the weight loss road needs those feelings! (Can you tell I've been there *coughs*)
So yeah, I'm taking a wild guess here, and I apologize in advance if I went overboard. Whatever goes, I hope you will soon feel better!
stacie, it's a mystery right now, but it's one you can solve. Rockinrobin is right on in what she says--she knows.
I'm wondering how you came to be eating pizza at lunch, and also how you came to be eating steak etc. for dinner. It sounds like you must have gone out, right? So, you made a conscious decision to go off your plan and eat out, and also to eat exactly what you felt like eating.
It sounds to me like a part of you is not going along with the weight loss plan! "Heck with it," she says, "I want steak and beer and that's that." And then she hijacks you. Are you gonna let her do that?
You have to really want to lose weight to make this work. That means getting everyone in your head on board with it, including whatever rebellious or frightened part of you wants to head for the nearest restaurant. For this, you might benefit from counseling. Some therapists specialize in food issues! You can likely get a referral from your doctor, or perhaps find someone on your own. A consultation with nutritionist or dietitian might also be helpful.
As for Jenny Craig--I get tired of the "frozen food bashers"--there are definite benefits to the prepackaged meals route. My plan is the "poor chick's Jenny Craig" namely Lean Cuisines most of the time, with added vegetables, for lunch and dinner. These meals are not bad--I like them. I am not into cooking, and this way I know exactly what I'm getting, with a good balance of nutrients and a variety of choices. But--I digress. The point is, no plan is going to work for you if you bolt for the door when the going gets tough.
You CAN lose weight, and you can keep it off as well. It isn't an easy task--you will have to work hard--but you CAN do it.
You might want to visit the Chicks in Control forum to see if any threads there are helpful.
I just dont know where to start..
