[sirak]

Well, it has already started. Mother is on her campaign to make sure that I don't starve. She looked at me and then the formal picture of me in my wedding dress and said "Haven't you lost enough weight? Aren't you close to that?
I think I might have been 140 something pounds 23 years ago when I married. I worked in a plant nursery so I was in really good shape. I was a buff bride. Three breast fed babies, two c sections and stupid gravity have taken it's toll. I will never look like the woman in that picture.
Other questions are " Are you still exercising every day?"- " Are you still on that diet?" " What are you doing about clothes ?"
When we made pictures she wanted to put me "the skinny one" in the middle. My sister is shorter than me by several inches and we weigh about the same.Dsis still dresses like a 20 something person. On her short stocky fluffy frame it isn't working.Dsis has her own row to hoe. I wasn't the only fat daughter.
I don't think I weigh less then Mom-she is a very frail 68 years old. Renal failure is getting closer. After over 50 years as a diabetic it is expected sooner or later. I eat a little more than her, but the thinking is very similar. When I cook for her and Dad the meals are tailored for her to be able to eat what ever is on the table.
I gave her my FitDay address so if she wanted to check on what I was eating she could. I talked to them about the type exercise DVD's I was using at home. I sent her the basic " Powermile" walking tape to demonstrate in the beginning what I was doing.
I think right now she sees me at a smaller weight. I think she doesn't quite remember the times in my twenties when I was 40 pounds less.
I don't know what my end weight will be until I get there.
I don't want " that diet" to become an issue. I am not done. I don't want to lie to her about what I am doing as she has celebrated each milestone with me starting on her birthday when I told her that I had lost the first ten. I am not sure how to handle her concern about my diet.

[Natalia]

I would probably twist it , since you say you and mom are around the same size, you could start calling her Skinny Minnie Everytime she says something about you being too thin I would say "what are you talking about? You're thinner than me!"
if things got worse or you get tired of the constant comments I think I would just say that I wasn't going to discuss my weight with her anymore. I have had to say that to family members (not about my weight but other subjects in which we have to agree to disagree)

[JayEll]

Families are so interesting! I can't imagine sharing my FitDay with my Mom (if she were still alive) so she could check up on what I'm eating. You're an adult--you don't need her approval.

I think it's fine to celebrate milestones, but if I were in your place, I'd start drawing some boundary lines. Deflect the discussion by saying, "I don't want to talk about my weight now. Let's talk about something else." It will be awkward at first if she is pushy and used to being able to find out anything she wants by asking, but it doesn't sound right to me. Tell her you'll let her know when you reach your next milestone, and other than that, you'd just as soon discuss other topics. And stick to it!

Jay

[almostheaven]

Originally Posted by JayEll

Families are so interesting!

So that's what we're calling it these days.

Ignorance is bliss, I say. Ignoring my family on their rants about how they know more about my weight than I do is the best way I've found to deal with them. Whatever rant they were on is lost if no one's playing the game with them.

[eevey]

Hi i am new around here, i keep seeing this word Fitday what is it?

[Sunnigummi]

It's an online program that helps you track your food and calories. Also gives you a pie chart of the amounts of fat, carbs, protein and alcohol (?) that you've taken in every day. You can set goals, write in a journal and plenty of other stuff.
The site is: www.fitday.com

[JayEll]

almostheaven, "interesting" is one way of putting it.

eevey, you can also purchase a download version of FitDay so that you can run it on your computer without internet connection. fitday.com will get you there.

Many tracking programs are available for this purpose.

Jay

[Romeos Girly]

Personally, I would set some boundaries. Assure your mother that you are eating healthy and exercising and let that be the end of it. Let her know that your goals are positive and health-driven, and that you are afraid that too much pressure will derail you from this goal. Perhaps by explaining this to her in terms of BMIs and lowering your risk for diabetes and other weight related complications, she will get off your back a little.