Hi there! Has anyone else had an "angry dieter" in their midst at their meetings? We just got one today. Boy is he mad. He laughed out loud when the leader suggested that carrots made a good crunchy snack. He snickered and shook his head when I said that I eat melba toasts in a snacking emergency. His LOUD opinion was that we should all just eat the chocolate or chips or whatever we were craving and enjoy it. Just in moderation. Like if THAT worked, no one would be at WW. My friend and I figure he won't last 3 weeks with his current attitude, and that the only reason he was there is because either his MD or his spouse "made" him go to WW.
How do you all handle this????
freiamaya - I think everyone has or will encounter someone like that atleast once in their life. They are so negative and critical of everything and everyone else. It's sad, really.
Please try to remember that their negativity/anger is a result of their own problems, and that they have the ability to affect your healthy choices in a bad way only if you allow them to. Maybe talk to your meeting leader about how this person is making people feel?
One man, one day. His day doesn't have to become your day (easier said than done, I know).
My experience with the angry dieter:
When I asked my husband to come to WW meetings with me, he WAS the angry dieter. He also had pure contempt for the "stupid" suggestions that wouldn't work for him, and had no sympathy for the obsession with dieting some people had (not recognizing his obsession with carbohydrate snacks).
My husband (un)fortunately (depending on your perspecitve) didn't share his anger in the meetings - he shared them with me at home. I had to live with the angry dieter, and as a newly wed, I could have let it destroy my marriage as well as my weight loss, but I felt for him. If I'm honest with myself, I have to acknowledge that although I've unleashed it in hiding, at myself instead of in the open, I've BEEN the angry dieter as well. NO ONE understand how hard this is for me. THEIR suggestions are stupid, and would never work for me. THEIR concerns are petty next to mine...... I HATE dieting, I HATE them, I HATE me.....
I dropped out of WW with my husband because his anger frustrated me, and I didn't want to deal with it. I encouraged him a second time, which he also agreed to go, and it was a little more successful the second time, but he was still angry and still in denial, and still uncomfortable with the group "thing."
A few weeks ago, he realized he had put on over 50 lbs since the accident that pushed him into disability (with me) last year. When a doctor told us we should try low carb dieting, I bought the Low Carb dieting, and read it to him as I was reading it myself. He was willing to give it a try. Southbeach was so much like Core, that I got out all of my WW materials and cookbooks, and bought low carb and South Beach cookbooks. I bough the Atkins books for him, as he was more interested in cutting carbs further, because he acknowledge (for the first time to my knowledge) his "addiction" to even good carbs (he's also diabetic). He still has compliance problems (but don't we all sometimes) but is losing weight, and he is a lot less angry.
ANGRY GUY, may mellow after he has a little success, or he may stay angry. He may leave WW, he may stay and be a constant annoyance to some or all members in his meeting. You have a lot of options even if he stays and remains angry You can say nothing and feel sorry for him, you can speak to the leader, you can speak during the group to him or about angry dieting in general in the meeting, or you can change meeting times to avoid him. How you handle it, should depend on YOUR needs, because everyone who comes to the meetings comes from a different place, and over time, you'll probable see and hear it all.
omg that's terrible dont let it bring you down tho! you've lost 67 poulds and I would take gladly any and all advice you have to give, it sounds to me like he is insecure and affraid that he cant do this! so just keep your head up high and keep on dropin those pounds! -TonyB1023!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His LOUD opinion was that we should all just eat the chocolate or chips or whatever we were craving and enjoy it. Just in moderation. Like if THAT worked, no one would be at WW.
Well you can enjoy the chocoalte, chips or other things in moderation. W/W isn't about deprivation it is about learning t live with those things HOWEVER it does have 8 Good Health Guidelines.
I'm sorry I agree with him on the carrots they are not a snack to me..they make me hungier. It is all about what helps a person and a person enjoys. I have a piece of chocolate nearly every day.
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My friend and I figure he won't last 3 weeks with his current attitude, and that the only reason he was there is because either his MD or his spouse "made" him go to WW.
He has to want and and I don't believe his spouse or MD (most MDs won't force anyone to a diet program they just advise about it) can force him to do it and I agree he won't last.
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How do you all handle this????
You just ignore it and move on. You can't change someone or what they do you can only control your reactions.
We had one woman at our meeting that got so made and very vocal (profanities etc) about how some one else who joined around the same time she did lost 40 lbs and she hasn't lost that much yet. She wouldn't take any suggestions from the group as far as she was concerned we were all wrong and she was right.
She had been loosing just not as fast as this other woman. So the leader suggested writing in her journal and bring it in for her to take a look at (of course the woman said she was doing everything perfect and exercising etc)
Long story longer she did what the leader said and ended up losing like 3 lbs that next week. She fessed up that she wasn't tracking in her journal she figured she could keep track all in her head.
So, the answer to your question .....yep had one of those angry dieters in our group too ha-ha
Hi all!!
I find the "angry dieter" phase really, really common. I know I've been there. I think different approaches work for different people, and for me, there are some trigger foods (chocolate, chips, candy, fatty foods) that I CAN'T just have in moderation. I've never been able to measure out exactly 12 Frito Lay's and put the rest away. Never. I think we can all do it if we want to, given the struggles that we will have with food and WHY we eat what we eat- we just have to find our own path to success.
I remember being at a meeting in where I used to live - it was a Wednesday morning meeting - and I have NEVER seen so many ANGRY DIETERS in the room!!! I remember the leader asking us how to manage a buffet, and I said that buffets were in some ways really great because you could pick and choose your foods. I swear that 15 (FIFTEEN!!!) heads snapped around in my direction and BOY did I get the evil eye!!!!
I will hang in there, and so will the rest of you! Thanks for the input!
South Beach and Core aren't identical, but there are significant similarities. Both emphasize whole, real, lower glycemic foods.
South Beach recipes are very often Core, so if you understand Core, you can use South Beach, The Zone, and other lower carb cookbooks to find Core recipes.
I like that Core allows you to use points for "non-Core" foods, but I have such a problem with high glycemic carbs that I try not to use the Core extra points, and try to limit even Core's "limited" carbs like potatoes even more than Core requires. This is why I call my food plan a South Beach/Core hybrid.
Boy what a joy kill at the meeting! Just feel for the guy but don't let his anger ruin your day. I have been that angry dieter. Sometimes I am so angry at this never ending weight loss struggle, I shake my fists at God or whoever and scream why me, it's so unfair. Then other times I'll have periods of unending optimism and nothing could keep me from being OP, till the next angry spell comes on me and I again grow weary of the obsession. It's part of the ebb and flow of the lifelong process. Thankfully we have great message boards like this one to help pick us up, dust us off and keep us moving onward and downward.
Moon Dreamer
I had never encountered the angry dieter until today. What's funny is I was just reading this thread last night. During my WW meeting this morning, a lady sat two seats away from me. She sat there with her clipboard, not quite ready to join because she stated that she had a lot of questions. Our challenge last week was to come up with good snack ideas. Several members talked about what snacks they had tried or made. She evidently got tired of it and said "what is it about snacks? I don't snack. Do you have to have all these snacks?" One lady stated that she eats every two to three hours since she's been on the plan. The angry dieter burst out "Do you have to snack because you get so hungry on this plan, why is it that everyone is talking about snacks?" She also stated that she had blood sugar problems among other health problems and because of sensitivities to medications her doctors were trying to help her without the use of medications, but no matter what diet she's on the doctors never seem to be satisfied with them. She is probably just frustrated but everyone including our leader had surprised looks on their faces every time she spoke out.
Think of him as your patience teacher! There will always be someone angry around us, but you have two choices: let him get to you, or learn from the experience. I usually try to learn, although I know it's difficult sometimes.
The "ANGRY" dieter at my meeting
