Hi, I'm new to the site. (Not forums in general, just.. Yeah.) I didn't really feel comfortable posting in the "introductions" area, because.. Well, I've seen a vast majority of people who need to lose a lot less weight than I. I hope this is okay to post here.
Okay, heads up! I'm really young. 18-years-old (Plus three months!) to be exact. I've -always- fit into the category of "morbidly obese," I was roughly 102 pounds by the age of 7. I've always been deeply saddened with the fact that my family didn't even attempt to help before it got way out of control.. In fact, they've always made it worse. "Oh, you'd be so pretty IF you were thin.." Sure, my mother thought she was helping with those words, and bringing up my weight on ANY trip to the doctor's office. (Even if I was going for an ear infection, talk about humiliation..)
Well! Recently, okay.. Not quite so recently, I've met this wonderful guy. He's literally the sweetest and most kind person I've ever known. I'm not saying I want to lose weight for him, I need to lose weight for myself so I can be healthy.. I mean healthy in every aspect, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I've never had friends growing up, I was teased constantly. I've missed out on my life, to be honest.. I want to enjoy the rest of it as much as I possibly can. I'd also really like a chance to experience a relationship where I feel comfortable in my own skin. And not like, horribly embarrassed for him that he has to be seen with me.
So, my most recent visit to the doctor's office was basically to see if I could have the lap-band operation. I couldn't, it wasn't covered under my mother's insurance because I wasn't weighed frequently enough within a 3-year period.. I've never wanted the surgery, but I guess it's getting to the point where I need help. Any help, y'know? Motivation for a happy life, and stuff like that only works for so long.. But I learned that I currently weigh 350 pounds. (159.09kg?)
As for my need of support and motivation.. My family has a tendency to completely obliterate my confidence and esteem when I'm trying my hardest. My mother says I need to lose weight to get a job. However, I need to get a job in order to keep living here.. (Believe me, I really want to get out of here. It's beyond horrible.) I know I don't -need- to lose weight to attain a job.. But she has a knack for shattering any hope I gather. "Oh, you can't hold a job.. People will tease you." And on some days, I say to myself, "Well.. I think I can manage for a few months if it gets me out of here.." But then she makes up the excuse that I need a car, and refuses to drive me to places to pick up applications.. Her other excuse is that I'm mentally ill. (I'm not.. I've been diagnosed with depression a few years back, and my therapist said that I don't need to take medication anymore.)
Sooo.. I think it'd be nice to get motivation and support from people who actually understand my problem. (Not saying you all have messed up family lives!)
Okay! Onto the serious stuff, I just thought I would explain my situation for a bit. I currently weigh roughly 350 pounds (159.09kg), and my long-term goal is 147 pounds (63.64kg), this is going by the BMI calculator thingy. My height is 5'7'' (170.18cm) and according to it.. Ideally, my weight should be 149-160lbs. So, gah. Long way to go. I'd like to shoot for lower mainly because I've NEVER been underweight. Or even healthy..
As far as my diet goes, I'm a strict vegetarian. I usually eat one large meal a day, and it keeps me full. Consisting of veggies and bran usually, occasionally some dairy. I can't eat too much dairy, it makes me sick. My average meals comes in at about.. 500 calories. I know, I should be stretching them out into smaller meals throughout the day and add up to more than 500 calories.. But I can't. (More mother problems, I'll spare you the details.) I don't really like sweets too much, I'm not joking! I can eat a couple of small chocolates and be sick of it. My doctor suggested gelatin if I was having a sweet craving, yeah, it makes me gag just thinking about it. I don't drink many fizzy drinks or intake much caffeine, my doctor said it makes you hungry quicker. I never drink regular soda, always diet. I take protein and other nutrient supplements daily, along with vitamins and lots of water..
I have no health problems. (Other than morbid obesity.) No diabetes, heart disease, high blood-pressure, or thyroid problems.
I'm not proud to admit this, but I'm lazier than a potato. The only exercise I get is walking around the house. I was really diligent with exercising a few months back, at least 45 minutes a day.. Just silly dancing around and some weight training. I can't do much more, my back hurts too quickly.
I don't really have a sure method of weighing myself, either. The only scale we have in the house is a digital one, and that says, "E" if I even press lightly on it with one foot. *Sigh* I'll be going by clothing sizes and inches lost if that's acceptable.
Well.. Thank you for listening to me whine for a bit. I appreciate any kind words and advice I may receive. I look forward to tracking my weight loss here.
Welcome! I'm only 24 and have been overweight my whole life as well, so I feel your pain. I was made fun of pretty much constantly until I hit high school (when some of the kids grew up a bit and I started actually participating in things that showed that I really was a normal person despite my fat). I was fat all through college and didn't have my first real boyfriend until I was almost 22 (and now we're engaged ).
So...you're absolutely not alone. You've taken a great first stepp by coming here. I might suggest speaking with a doctor or dietician/nutritionist to ask them why they think you're not losing weight if you're really only eating 500 calories a day. I will never succumb to the idea that eating so little is healthy, but I also know that at your weight, if you're truly eating so little, you should be losing weight (whether healthy or not).
I know it's easy to be angry with your family, but I've seen plenty of cases where the family DID try to help someone who was becoming overweight, and it still didn't work. I'm one example--my mother started taking me to TOPS meetings (non-profit weight loss group) when I was in middle school, and we talked to my doctor about my weight and even went to see the hospital dietician. Despite their efforts, I would go to McDonald's with my friends after school, I would eat junk at school dances and parties and whatnot--so don't be so hard on your folks because there is no perfect method for raising a child of a healthy weight, no matter how many books they read or experts they consult
Anyway, welcome to the group Don't be afraid to just jump right into our numbered conversation threads ("300+ and Ready to Try Again #XXXX")--we start a new thread every week on Monday morning so they don't get too long and cumbersome.
If you didn't get the point, welcome to 3fc Jiin. My name is Carolyn and I have been coming here for about a month. You will love it! Everyone here is very nice. If not busier than all get out for the most part! It is a very supportive place. Certainly step one for most of us. I am sorry to hear about your family. I can't relate that way, my folks were overweight and helped me and my brother get that way because they loved us. "You must eat four squares a day or you won't be healthy" sort of thing. But I understand what it feels like to be big.
You are wonderful, never forget that, and no, you don't want to lose weight for a guy, but any good, healthy motivation works. I have four daughters who are overweight to help before it's too late for them, so I understand from that perspective.
Also, you are NOT, I repeat NOT the only one around here with messed up families. Trust me. It is a big topic of conversation. So, no need to feel alone.
I was 310 when I started weighing myself for my new lifestyle choices. I probably weighed more before that. I have been diving into information as far as healthy ways to lose weight. It is not as easy as you might think to trick that ol' body into giving up some of its energy. The one thing you might consider is logging on to a web site called fitday. It is free to register for an account and it helps you log all your food and excersice.
So, the two bits of information that I can confidently say are helping me that I have to offer are...
-It takes 12-15 calories per day to maintain one pound of body weight.
So, if you want to know how many calories you need to sustain a certain body weight, i.e. your goal weight. Multiply your goal weight by 12. You said you were sedentary, so 12 should work.
So let's say 150 x 12 = 1800 calories per day!
Now you mentioned that you eat about 500 calories per meal and eat one per day, that would put you way below your daily intake.
So, now the 2nd piece of advice I have learned. You cannot go more than 15-20% below your minimum calorie intake per day or else your bodies starvation trigger is pulled and then everything you eat will quickly be turned into fat by your ridiculously efficient body!
So, at 1800 - 20% = 1440 that is your lowest possible calorie intake to lose weight in a healthy long term way.
It is sort of shocking when we see that even though we are big, this whole myth of eating 1000 calories will make us thin. In fact it just slows our metabolism so that when we do eat more food, we turn it into fat!
Anyway, there is a lot of information here. I am sorry if I overwhelmed you. If you ever want to talk I am around a lot. I am trying to stay on top of it myself and we all have our issues, so feel free to chat away.
Hello!
My wt gain was much more gradual, But I have been overweight for most of my life, since age 9. But let me tell you one thing high school sucked but I loved college. I hope you consider furthering you education. I seem to love school so much I am now working on a master degree By this July I will be a dietitian
I am also a vegetarian, but I am what they call a lacto-pollo vegetarian. I still eat dairy and chicken. Protein is very important for building muscle and repairing tissue and increases your energy. What sources of food do you get your protein from? Soy, tofu, peanutbutter, beans? I must really question if your calorie count of 500 calories is accurate. A calorie level below 900 cal/day, the body goes into starvation mode. And the body will hold onto the weight. Calorie king is a good site to determine caloric intake or you could post 3-day intake and I could analyze it for you.
What supplements are you taking? The only vitamins that you may need is a multi-vit and possible an additional dose of calcium.
Most people don't like exercise, I don't like it that much either. Just start off slowly walk 1 mile around your highschool track. Slowly build up speed and distance. Exercise will really help pull the weight off.
I try to weigh myslef daily, first thing in the morning, no clothes and at least 12 hrs after my last meal to get an accurate reading. If your scale says E that means you most likely weigh >350#, for most scales only go to 300 or 350.
Hope I was helpful. You can do it!
Carolyn-
I am not sure where you came up for those parameters for determining calorie levels. Most equations for determining caloire level (harris-benedict, irenton-jones, etc.) are not accurate, especially for the morbidly obese. 16-18 cal/kg for adjusted body weight is fairly accurate! So for instance for you, to lose weight you may need to consume 1318-1483 cal/day!
Welcome! I'm glad you posted here. There are many people here who understand what it's like to be morbidly obese and the challenges involved with wanting to lose a lot of weight.
It's difficult when family isn't helpful, and especially when you have less control of your situation. But we all have challenges throughout life, and part of this process is finding ways to deal with the challenges.
Many of us are overwhelmed to try to deal with everything all at once. When I started this particular weight loss attempt, I just started bringing lunch and snacks to work and trying to move a little more. I don't like exercise either and have gradually increased the amount and intensity of exercise I do. If you're interested, you can join our monthly exercise thread for April -- we set exercise goals (and you pick the exercise -- walking is a good way to start), track our minutes and also kepe track of the group's minutes -- we move a lot, it turns out!
As for eating, you probably will hear a lot from people about eating once a day and eating so little. First, everyone's trying to help, so please consider that when you read the responses. I also think they're right. It's important to eat enough to maintain your body -- large bodies need more to do everything from brushing teeth to walking. If you don't eat enough it's difficult to get enough nutrition, and you actually may not be doing your body any favors when it comes to weight loss.
But, I would urge you to do some reading about healthy eating yourself so that you can make some good choices.
im not much older than you, i am 22, and i started out here 3 weeks ago at about your weight (347) and same height (5ft 7in), and our goals are similar(mine is 150)! i also think i know what you mean about your guy being part of your motivation. i was never really concerned with being fat until i met this guy. and its not that i want to lose it for him, its more that until him there wasn't anyone interested in me so i figured if i wasn't happy in love, i might as well be happy eating what i wanted and being as lazy as i wanted. but now i have more confidence in myself because he sees this great potential in me for all things, not just this.
i don't really understand why your mom thinks people will tease you if you get a job. heck, im 338 lbs and i work in a bakery making cookies and doughnuts all day! if thats not ground for teasing i don't know what is and no one has ever said anything to my face about it. is there anywhere near you where you could get a job? like within walking distance. i don't drive either but i walk to work everyday.
ive never really exercised either. i was in colorguard in high school and that was about as much exercise i ever got lol. but now i try to do some sort of exercise at least 5 days a week. i go to the gym 3 days for about 45 minutes + walking each way, with a friend and walk at least a mile/30 min on the treadmill on the days i don't go to the gym.
anyway, welcome aboard, hope we can help with anything ya need :-D
i don't really understand why your mom thinks people will tease you if you get a job. heck, im 338 lbs and i work in a bakery making cookies and doughnuts all day! if thats not ground for teasing i don't know what is and no one has ever said anything to my face about it.
Absolutely right! At about 300 pounds (give or take depending on my age--I've been working since I was 16), I've worked at Payless ShoeSource (5 different locations), a fabric store, a movie theater, Ruby Tuesday (2 locations), a self-storage facility, Bath & Body Works, a custom diploma frame company, a giant evil corporation (cubicle city type of office), a defense contractor, and my current job with an HR staffing company. I also held an internship at a radio station (a group of stations, actually--a country station, an alternative rock station, a 80s/90s mix station, and 2 AM stations). Oh, and I was a member of choir, madrigals (extra curricular by-audition-only singing group), drama, Campus Activity Board (in college), Habitat for Humanity, and a bunch of other groups/activities throughout high school and college, including a women's softball league.
Anyway, all of that to say, I've been around a LOT of people, both in a small town setting and near major cities, and I have NEVER been ridiculed or laughed at or made fun of at all. Ever. Hold your head up high and believe the truth that you are a fabulous human being regardless of weight, shape, or size. Project that confidence (even if you have to pretend! I know I did at first!), and others will treat you as you show them you deserve to be treated.
I have about 200 lbs left to lose, and I'm not that much older than you. I just turned 19 in February!
Just wanted to jump in really quick to mention that there's no reason you can't have a job or do any activities just because of your weight. I don't have hardly any work experience, so I can't help you much there, but I participated in TONS of activities when I was in high school, including choir, NHS, SNHS, dance and color guard (dance with fake rifles and flags, not the military kind)! And you bet I performed with everyone else, too. In a spandex dance costume. And actually, the instructor told me I was one of the best dancers and used me in examples a lot. I did all of this at over 300 lbs (I think I was around 315 - 330 at this point). I'm sure people did make fun of me in the stands, but I really couldn't care less. Don't let what others think stop you from living your life to the fullest!
As far as parents, like others have said, they're usually well meaning, it just doesn't always manifest itself in the best ways.
And the eating, well, 500 calories is WAY too low. I'm not sure about what the issues are you mentioned with your mother, but no one should/can live off of 500 calories a day. It's just not healthy. Are you sure your calories are this low, or are you guessing? If you honestly measure out all of your foods and you really are only eating this amount, then by all means PLEASE bump the calories up and see a nutritionist if possible. I've always heard, generally, most people (unless they have some sort of doctor's approval or something) shouldn't dip below 1200 calories a day. Too low, and your body goes into starvation mode and holds onto every last bit of nutrition that it can, because as far as its concerned, it doesn't know when its next meal is coming. That's what our bodies are designed to do. Survive. Though it may seem counterproductive to weight loss, our bodies are just trying to protect us and maintain a constant state of being (homeostasis and all that jazz). Also, are you getting enough protein? Vegetarians have to be careful about this, and make sure that they get plenty, whether it be from diary, beans, tofu, nuts, etc. I hope I'm not coming off as preachy, but I don't want for someone to end up being unhealthy as a result of trying to become healthier. It might greatly benefit you to purchase and use a food scale to measure things out, as well as logging it into a nutritional diary, whether it be on paper, or using something like Fitday or The Daily Plate. There are a few others, but those are the only two I have experience with.
3FC is a GREAT resource for information, inspiration, and support! I love it here, even though I mostly lurk around reading instead of posting. I hope this site can be as great of a help to you as it has been for many, many others, including myself.
Welcome to the board! You will find lots of advice and support here. Your post made me sad, i saw some of myself in what you said. the important thing is for you to do this for yourself:, not your mom, a boy, or any other reason. once you decide to do it, make small changes at first, so your not overwhelmed. by small changes i mean things like, 1. drink more water, 2. excersise 30 min a day. 3. eat more healthy, natural foods, i.e, wheat bread instead of white, fruit, vegetables, etc. i've found that once you make the small changes, the big changes come easier. I can totally relate to what you said, i have been overwt my whole life, the highest wt 314, current 208. its been a series of ups and downs for me, but this time i have put myself, and my health before anything else. You can do it just believe in yourself, and realize what a special person you are. there are lots of us that are in/have been in the same boat, so we can relate and help you. Good luck, dont give up, and post often PS. i agree with the other ladies about a job. i have always worked, whether i was over 300lbs or not, and you can too! dont let negative people and vibes get you down. Best Wishes
This is an incredibly supportive group of people who are here 24/7 whenever you need someone to vent to...someone who really *does* understand how you feel.
I started at over 200 lbs to lose and still have a bunch to lose. I will get there. I agree with others who have said, take one thing at a time in changing how you live. I started my exercise by simply parking further away from the building at work and wore a pedometer to track my steps taken. I started at about 3000 steps a day and am now averaging 5000 - 7000 a day. I also am riding my stationary bike 20 minutes a day. Start slowly and add a few minutes or steps when you feel able.
As far as only eating only 500 calories...Ohmygosh!! I would keel over on that amount of calories. It is not healthy! Eventually your body will say "STOP!! I AM STARVING!!" and will lower your metabolism. Trust me...you want your metabolism to work at its most efficient. I am over twice your age, but I am trying to keep my body burning fat efficiently. I can tell when I am not eating enough (there are days like that!) because I feel like crap and when I go over my online journal the lightbulb goes on and I have to eat some more. Everyone here does what works for them in the type of plan to follow. I am counting calores and journalling. It makes me accountable for what I am putting in my mouth. It also makes me aware of what I am eating. Its easy to forget that half piece of toast, etc., but if you are writing it down then later on in the day you won't forget that. It has really helped me.
I am so very glad that you are doing this at your age. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. That is just so awesome! We are here for you...just jump right in and post.
Hey everyone i am new to all this and was wondering if i could join in on your discussions u all seem like such a great support group!!!!!!! I am 25yrs old i have been married for 5 years in July and i have 2 girls agd 4 and 7. I have always been the FAT FRIEND out of my friends and it makes it REALLY hard to turn to them when it comes to my weight and losing it.They just don't really understand why i'm overweight and think it is as easy as just not eating dessert and i will lose!!! I am looking for a few good friends that understand my struggles and that i can turn to!!!! I am a HUGE emotional eater and i was wondering if anyone had any advice on what i could do to help with my emotional eating!!!! I want to b able to go on the theme park rides with my girls, go to the beach confidently, walk proudly into a restaurant, and i am going to university in the fall and i want to b able to walk the campus without huffing and puffing!!!!!! that is just a little about me and i hope to meet some of u soon!!!
Marissa
Welcome Marissa! If you want to join our more active discussions, check out the numbered weekly threads... "300+ and ready to try again" They move fast but are a great support!
200+ to lose! & Hello!
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Don't be afraid to just jump right into our numbered conversation threads ("300+ and Ready to Try Again #XXXX")--we start a new thread every week on Monday morning so they don't get too long and cumbersome.
By this July I will be a dietitian
It might greatly benefit you to purchase and use a food scale to measure things out, as well as logging it into a nutritional diary, whether it be on paper, or using something like Fitday or The Daily Plate. There are a few others, but those are the only two I have experience with.
