[triplettummy]

I'm so frustrated and really tired of fighting these pounds. Brief background: was a fabulous size 8 in high school but became convinced I was fat and wound up sinking into the horrible world of bulemia for about 3 years before finally getting professional help. I "fell off the wagon" in grad school and took another year to get back on track. Then I was a good, healthy size 12 for years. Then DH and I were slammed with the awful heartache of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss. The devestation drove me back to binge eating (but I fought the urges to purge). I was a size 16 when we did our 3rd IVF and I became pregnant with triplets. I was on hospital bedrest for 2 months prior to delivery and then had physical therapy after delivery to retrain muscles that had gone to mush. My triplets are 2 now and I hate that I can't keep up with them. I begged God for a family for 5 long years and I feel so guilty for not being able to play with them the way they want. I can't crawl around the floor or run around the yard. And I'm grumpy because I'm unhappy with myself. My DH is a saint. I have NO desire for sex. None. And a great deal of that is connected to my weight and self-image.

I joined a gym. My mom keeps the kids from 10-11 each morning (M-F) so I can go. I'm also trying to watch what I'm eating. It's so tough and I really need some support.

I want to be a healthier mommy and wife. I want to like me. And I want to live a long time to enjoy these miracles I was given.

Thanks for reading. I look forward to getting to know you.

Monica

[ArtsyGirl]

Wow Triplets!! I dont think anyone could keep up with that. Congratulations on taking the first steps with the gym membership and trying to eat better. Thats really what its all about. You're very lucky to have a wonderful supportive hubby. It makes it so much easier to stay on track with what you're doing. Welcome to 3 fat chicks. Take your time and look around. This is a gold mine of support, encouragement and knowledge. Have fun.

[Cheryl14]

Hi Monica!

Welcome!

What little cuties you have! I had my kids one at a time and I felt like you do now! Just think of what your body has accomplished!

Sounds to me that you need some time to just r-e-l-a-x, but we both know that's not in the cards for oh, say, the next SIXTEEN YEARS?!!! SOOOO, the question is: "How can you be the person you want to be, the mom you want to be AND the wife you want to be?"

Have you joined the Mothers of Twins Club in your area? The club accepts all moms of all multiples as well as twins. It can be a really wonderful support system of people who know about all you deal with on a daily basis.

Once you find some time for yourself and make that a priority, the rest will all fall into place. The BIG question for you that only YOU can answer is, "How can you find time for YOU?" We all need to put ourselves first so that we can be healthy enough physically and mentally and emotionally to care for our families. If we ignore our needs we can help no one.

I think that you have quite a bit to deal with, Monica! I'm rooting for you!

Hugs,
Cheryl