Hi all I was just wondering if anyone here has tried any of the online dating sites out there, and what kinds of experiences you might have had, both good and bad.
Just curious.
LadyHLG
I have tried eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, and FarmersOnly.com.
I like the way eHarmony works. You fill out a huge personality questionnaire, then their system pairs you up with potential matches on 29 points of compatibility. It removes most of the how-do-I-present-myself dilemma and having to send little flirty emails to people you're interested in. The downside is that it also limits your choice to people their computer system thinks you will be compatible with. In my case that has averaged 2-3 a week. So far, I haven't clicked with any of them.
Yahoo Personals has everything I hate about online dating: A meatmarket-type-search where you can see photos and about 3 lines of text attempting to grab your interest for all the people that meet your search criteria. If you find someone you're interested in, you can send them an email, a "flirt", or IM them. For those who become stuporously tongue-tied around the opposite sex and can't think of what to say, they have helpful dropdown lists with well-intentioned but insipid pick-up lines. I have not found anyone on here I am attracted to, although I chat online with one man I like as a friend.
FarmersOnly.com is for farmers and those drawn to the rural lifestyle. The way it is set up is similar to Yahoo Personals, but it is a different audience. I haven't found anyone on here I'm interested in either, but that may be because I'm looking for someone who's conversant in cutting-edge information technology (my job) as well as knowing the finer points of butchering your own poultry and how to shoe a horse. I know it's a lot to ask *sigh*
Anyway, I hope you have better luck than I am having.
My friend did match.com and went on a few dates with guys she didn't really click with........until she found "the one." She is very picky with men, but she has finally found what she has been looking for. She is getting married in 10mos.
i know LOTS of people that are in successful relationships with men they met online and a few that are actually married to men they've met online!
ive used match, hotornot, craigslist, myspace and yahoo personals.
i have had 1 long term relationship out of it, lots of dates - most of them have no real chemistry, a few were actually really good!
right now im on and off with a boy i met online!
be careful, never get your hopes up too high before you meet someone, meet earlier rather than later (thats been my experience, you talk on the phone everything is great and in person, no chemistry) but it can be fun!
I placed an ad/profile on a local newspaper's newspaper/online personals. It appeared in print (without a pic) and online (with a photo) and a voicemail box. Even though I was about 380 lbs or so, I was pretty "picky," I guess in that I knew what I wanted, and new the odds of finding it were pretty poor, but I didn't give up. I had also had ads on BBW websites and yahoo personals.
I got a lot of responses, but most of them from guys I would never consider dating. (I was in my 30's when I first started placing ads, and a couple guys were barely of legal age, one guy wanted to watch women go to the bathroom, several confided after several letters that they had lied in some way - age, marital status, height, occupation...) One guy was a over the road truck driver, and basically wanted a free whore. A lot of guys looking for sex (and not even having the social skills to be smooth about it - can you send me a picture of you naked, is hardly an ice breaker of a conversation starter).
One guy seemed promising, and I actually met him for lunch. He was very tall (like 6'8"), blonde and tan. Even though he was quite overweight, he was very well-proportioned and managed to give off a California volleyball vibe)
I realized that he had shaved a decade off his age, and was exagerating his income, but I hadn't checked him off my list until it became clear (through not only my instincts, but through a male coworker who knew him) that he was one of the biggest compulsive liars I'd ever met. I almost didn't respond to my now husband, David's voicemail, because I pretty much had sworn off online guys, after that date.
About five or six weeks, I decided to answer David's phone message. His message had been so friendly and so casual (and so not pervy or desperate) that I thought why not. Our first phone call was like 3 hours long, our email letters were novels, and we were talking every day from day one. When we met, I thought we weren't hitting it off, because we had nothing to say. He was really shy in person, and so we'd go out to eat and watch a movie or television at one of our apartments, and hardly say a word to each other - then we'd go home and talk on the phone for three hours. It was hilarious.
I have... I met my current guy of 3 yrs 9 months on one - we are still happy & living together. He was one of 3 men I talked to, one I never met, one I met & just didn't care for as much as I'd hoped, and then him.
I've tried a number of them myself, including the ones specifically for BBW's. Overall i'm happy with the experience. There are trolls and game players online just like there are in the real world. We just have to learn to screen a bit better. I've met some very nice guys, just no chemistry. The only time it really seems to irk me is when a guy is "nice" and seems to think that means i'm supposed to be all over him from day one. I'm sorry, but while yes, we do want a nice guy, that doesn't mean we'll be attracted to every nice guy! I'd consider myself pretty picky as well. I'm comfortable by myself and have no real necessity for a man in my life except to share a good life.
I had one long term boyfriend I met online and am currently talking to a couple, one long distance and one more local. I always make it clear that I will not make any committment until I meet them and we decide mutually if we want to continue seeing each other.
I also have girlfriends that have had good experiences.
Thank-You to everyone for the info!
I guess I just wanted to hear that yes it is possible, but I remain very skeptical. I went to Yahoo Personals, mostly because its not as expensive as some of the other ones. I looked around and even did a profile, but I don't have a current photo to post, and I'm not very anxious to try and take one even though I realize my chances of meeting someone are much slimmer without it.
The turth is, I'm very shy, and because I work from home, my opportunities for meeting people are few and far between. I have also hidden behind my weight for most of my life, using it as an excuse to put off trying. I did the old "I'll try it after I loose X amount of weight". But it never happens and so I'm still alone. I have convinced myself that men just wouldn't be interested in a larger woman, so why bother trying.
I don't want to think this way any more! Basically I've been putting my life on hold, while I watch eveyone else live theirs. Its like crying because I didnt win the lottery even though I never bought a ticket. I guess this means I need to get a good picture and give this a real try. So why does it scare the heck out of me?
I've used match.com and Yahoo.....I've "kissed a lot of Frogs" but I met the man of my dreams 8 months ago, we instantly hit it off, we're currently combining households. We joke about how I let him "pick me up online" Although we only lived about 15 miles apart, we never would have met each other...(unless he was gravely ill and came for surgery).
I actually had a lot of dates from Yahoo, there seemed to be more people in my locale.
I originally had to be dragged kicking and screaming to online dating, but when you work 50 hours a week, run a household, etc....it is a more feasible option than trying to meet people in person...that is exhausting too. The picture was the hardest part....NEVER ask your brother to be your fashion photographer! I had much better luck with my martha stewart type neighbor, she arranged me into much better flattering pics.
He had me posing in front of pick-up trucks in his driveway with the sun in my eyes....the trucks looked very clean and shiney....I was squinting and it looked like I had an extra 3" on my waist due to the proximity of a door handle...the next try was on his deck with the freshly washed window screens and hanging beach towels.....it was an exercise in futility.
I signed up with Match.com back in 2005. I met my partner, and we had a 86% compatibility. We're still together. So, I had a great experience with that site.
Eharmony I think is too specific, and I didn't have ANY matches in the entire USA. LOL. I wouldn't suggest that site.
Be careful though, there are some real whack-jobs on those sites. Anywhere online for that matter.
I did it too, a couple of years ago. I found match.com the easiest to deal with, but didn't end up meeting Prince Charming that way. It's just not my style, I guess...
Why does it scare the heck out of you? Because it's scary! Putting yourself at risk, especially if you're not that comfortable in your skin, is a super scary thing to do. Unfortunately, the alternative is sitting on the sidelines and letting your life pass you by. IMHO, that's a whole heckuva lot scarier. I speak from experience here, at 34, I'm 9 months into my first serious relationship. It's AMAZING. He's amazing. I'm amazed. Bottom line: It's 100% worth the risk.
My vote is to take a picture, post a profile and see what happens. The beauty of the online thing is that you don't typically hear from folks who are rejecting you, you just hear from the ones who want to meet you. Not a bad way to go for us scaredy cats.
I met my husband on match.com. I did have to weed through quite a few guys before I met him. There were some guys who said they were looking for a "relationship", but were only looking for sex. My husband said his biggest problem with girls he met before me was lack of honesty. He would meet women who said they weighed 125 lbs & would show up weighing 250 lb. He said women would put pics on there from 10 to 15 years ago & looked totally different in person (age, etc). Like me, he learned how to read "between the lines" and it got easier.
I think my biggest piece of advise is: be totally honest in who you are and what you want from a guy.
Once you are ready to meet someone, meet them in a public place only, tell someone who you are meeting & where you are meeting them or meet in a group of your friends. I would often meet guys are "Dave & Busters" or a fast food restaurant. I would have a friend eating at a table near by. This was to insure my safety or could be used as "help" if I wasn't interested in the person. Even after you meet someone once, if you are interested, do things to insure your safety. Don't give out your home # or address too soon. If you are truly interested, do a criminal background check on them. I did, it cost me $20 & saved me from some major problems with some guys.
Online Dating Sites
I'd consider myself pretty picky as well. I'm comfortable by myself and have no real necessity for a man in my life except to share a good life. 
Because it's scary! Putting yourself at risk, especially if you're not that comfortable in your skin, is a super scary thing to do. Unfortunately, the alternative is sitting on the sidelines and letting your life pass you by. IMHO, that's a whole heckuva lot scarier. I speak from experience here, at 34, I'm 9 months into my first serious relationship. It's AMAZING. He's amazing. I'm amazed. Bottom line: It's 100% worth the risk.
